


Depression Naps

by Tatergattler



Series: Danger and Peril [1]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad things happened I'm so sorry, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, F/F, Happy endings though I promise!!!, I can promise that everyone's pretty gay at least., I did this to myself oh goodness why, Probably ooc, Suicide Attempt, This got a lot darker than I expected., This is becoming a whole lot longer than I thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-03 05:04:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 29
Words: 49,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13334079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tatergattler/pseuds/Tatergattler
Summary: A mess of a work, but a work nonetheless.Sayori PoV, Developing SayoSuki, We're all suffering here.There's a lot of times where it just seems so tiring to just even stay awake.Especially when one event leads straight into another...I can't get a break can I..?D͢͏ą̷n͟ge͜r̸.͢҉





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been reading a bunch of DDLC fics and I kindaaa ran out of stuff to read so I ended up making this. I haven't played the game, and I only got snippets of what happened through various fics and videos, so I'm like 95% sure there's some OOC shenanigans going on. I just wrote this to get it out of my head, and well, may as well post it. 
> 
> Also, I'm kinda nervous on how I depicted Sayori's depression, like, I have the same deal going on, tbh! So I figured I would be able to write about a character with depression just fine but, apparently I feel like I messed up. Oh well.

Low energy days are just the worst. 

Even with the miracle of medication, there's always the usual wax and wane of my energy and for lack of better terms to emphasize my displeasure, it sucks. A bunch, actually. 

My eyes blink slowly, being the only thing in my body that actually has energy to at least function. Beams of sunlight shine through the cracks of the...blinders? The, like, flat things that cover the window. Blinds..? Ugh, I really am useless if I can't remember something like that... 

Well, either way the sun is up, so that's a step in the right direction. That's the first good thing to happen to day and that number can only get larger, right? I direct my eyes over to my nearby alarm clock... Ah... 7:42... I would have set an alarm but I get tired of hitting snooze all the time so I may as well not use it. 

My tired eyes close and a hefty, tired sigh comes and goes. I really hope I can at least get some energy before it's too late. I'd hate to miss out on the club. There's so many fun things to do still... Maybe if I don't show up today they might enjoy the breath of fresh air... I'm sure they get tired of my talking all the time. 

Yeah, that sounds fair. I get some extra sleep, a day off; they get a day without my chatting their ears off and annoying them with my poems of obviously lesser quality. 

Natsuki's writing style is succinct, frank, to the point, and admirable most of all. She can tell stories great authors could in half the words. 

Yuri's poems are those akin to...a dance. A waltz? Slow dance? They're longer than Natsuki's but are just as enjoyable. Her masterful word choice is enough to keep the attention of even the shortest of attention spans. 

Monika's words are...interesting, her poems invoke curiousity, perfessionaly woven between similies, metaphors and all other literature mechanics and mechanisms.

Mine? Mine are just...words. I try to be clever, honest! But all I see when I write something is just my feelings about myself and my world, hidden underneath a mess of glittery words and a cheery facade. Not too different than me, I suppose, but the last thing I want to do is have anyone worry about me. I've already kinda established myself as the cheery, happy-go-lucky friend, and I can't, I can't let myself shatter that perception.

I'm stronger than my disorders.  
I'm stronger than my depression.  
I'm stronger than... Than... 

I open my eyes again. Oh great, my pillow's all soaked... When did I start... Nevermind... What's the.. Oh, it's 9:31 now? 

Well, it's too late now, seems like a day off for me. Nice going... Wasn't there a test today in math..? Oh well. Not enough energy to care. 

Either way, my brain seems to have had enough sleep, cause it's finally feeling a bit sharper than whenever I woke up earlier, so with a soft hiccup and a few cracks in my lazy lazy joints, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Not caring to change out of my pajamas, I turned and let my legs dangle over the edge of my bed, reaching over to check my phone.

Nothing too out of the ordinary. A few game notifications, voicemails that I couldn't care about, a few messages in the club chat, probably shenanigans between Yuri and Natsuki again, so I elected to ignore those as well. 

I'm up now, so may as well get something to eat. Baby steps, baby steps... Gotta take care of myself. One foot in front of the other, C'mon Sayori, you're better than this, you're gonna enjoy this day off...

The kitchen is pretty much as it was yesterday. Mess in the sink, along with the leftovers I totally forgot to stash in the fridge last night. Smooth, Sayori, way to waste food, pretty sure you waste a whole lot more than food... Let's see... Oxygen, space, an entire house some other family could be using, time, money... 

I shook my head and sighed tiredly, tossing out the bad food. Get a hold of yourself... I toss two slices of bread into the toaster and stare at the plunger thingy. 

Raising my hand high into the air, I let out a battle cry and slam down the plunger, the slices of bread dropping into the appliance as that red of those heater heat strips begin to glow. At the same time my hand let my brain know that was one heck of a stupid idea. 

"Owowoww" I muttered to myself, holding my left hand as it pulsed with blunt discomfort but at the same time, I couldn't help but giggle to myself. Stupid as an idea that was, it did brighten my mood considerably, and that's what mattered. Having something like depression sucks so much, but I guess it likes to remind you to take the good things when you can get them. Smile, joke about, the whole fake-it-till-you-make-it dealio, I gotta take any boon life is willing to grant me at this point. 

Besides that, breakfast and the rest of the morning for that matter flew by quite uneventfully. I ended up checking my phone again in the middle of watching a nature documentary solely for the time, and noticed more group messages along with a missed call and a message from both Yuri and Monika. Deciding to finally check to see what my friends have been up to without me up to this fine hour of 11:50 AM, I tapped the group chat first and unlocked my phone. 

_[8:10 AM] Tuff-cake: @HappyThoughts, wth are you? Didn't see you at all before class started???_

_[8:45 AM] Yuri: Maybe she's feeling a bit sick..? Though it is unlike Sayori to not tell us before hand..._

_[8:45 AM] Just Moni~: Hmm, if I don't see her my the end of next block I'll give her a call._

_[8:46 AM] Tuff-Cake: Great._

_[9:50 AM] Just Moni~: I just called Sayori and she didn't pick up. I hope nothing serious is going on..._

_[9:51 AM] Tuff-Cake: [message deleted]_

_[9:51 AM] Tuff-Cake: [message deleted]_

_[9:51 AM] Tuff-Cake: [message deleted]_

_[9:51 AM] Tuff-Cake: [message deleted]_

_[9:51 AM] Yuri: Natsuki, stop it, please._

_[9:51 AM] Just Moni~: Goodness, Natsuki, I'm worried about Sayori too, but let's not get too overzealous!_

_[9:52 AM] Tuff-Cake: [message deleted]_

_[10:22 AM] Tuff-Cake: Hey, I lost my lunch money, any1 willing to bend their backs a bit for good ol' Natsuki here?_

_[10:25 AM] Yuri: You can have half of my sandwich when we meet up for lunch._

_[10:25 AM] Tuff-Cake: Awesome!_

_[10:26 AM] Just Moni~: Natsuki you ought to learn to be a bit more mindful of where you put that money._

_[10:26 AM] Tuff-Cake: Hey, don't look at me, OK???_

I huffed a bit. My friends sure did seem to be just fine without me, even if they're concerned about me...which is a bit nice even though they really shouldn't. Regardless, time to type my overdue reply. 

_[11:51 AM] HappyThoughts: Hey!! I'm still alive, ehee! Just kinda woke up a bit sick with a phone set to DnD apparently, so I just kinda decided to spend the day off hanging at my place, so don't worry about me! I'll be back tomorrow better than ever! Promise~!!!_

That was it for the group chat... Turning my attention to the messages sent directly to me by Yuri and Monika, the most recent one seemed to have been Monika, but I decided to look at Yuri's first. 

_[11:10 AM] Yuri: Are you alright? We haven't heard anything from you the entire day. Monika and Natsuki are both getting antsy._

_[11:51 AM] HappyThoughts: I'm fine, Yuri!! Thanks for worrying about me, but you really don't need to, it's nothing major at all! Just a lil sick is all!_

That done, it's time to look at Monika's message. The group chat pinged already. I'll check on that again after this. 

_[11:42 AM] Just Moni~: Sayo, everything alright?? You're kinda really worrying me. It's been kinda awkward not having you defuse the little arguments between Natsuki and Yuri. Please at least let us know you're okay?_

_[11:52 AM] HappyThoughts: I'm a-okay, Moni!! Sorry for worrying you like that! My phone was on DnD and all haha! Try and have a good time with the others at the club, okay?? I'll be back tomorrow!!_

In the time it took me to write that, the group chat had pinged a few more times already. Let's see what they had to say.

_[11:51 AM] Tuff-Cake: Oh look, she's alive._

_[11:51 AM] Yuri: You visibly let out a breath of relief when you saw her message._

_[11:52 AM] Tuff-Cake: You're lucky we've already headed back to class or I would have personally strangled you._

_[11:52 AM] Just Moni~: Girls, please._

_[11:52 AM] Tuff-Cake: Also, @HappyThoughts whats DnD? Dungeons and Dragons??_

_[11:52 AM] Just Moni~: Do not Disturb._

_[11:52 AM] Tuff-Cake: Ah, I knew that. I was just checking to see if you two were up to speed._

_[11:53 AM] Yuri: How quaint._

I couldn't help but giggle a bit. My friends are odd, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Now I wish I hadn't been staying home the entire day, I wanted to go see my friends now... But I gotta put up this act. I'll make doubly sure to get out of bed tomorrow!

Whew, what a day of lies... Lie to my friends, lie to myself, to my school. I wonder how mad they're gonna be when they figure out the truth. Probably really mad, like maybe 'I hate your guts, Sayori, go die in a hole and rot' kind of mad. I wouldn't really be surprised. In the end though, as long as I can hold my own and keep up my happy happy mask, I'm sure nothing bad will happen! I'm just waiting for the day I can't fake it anymore. 

Honestly though, why do they even care about me? I can barely take care of myself, and I think the last shower I took was like, 3 days ago... I'm really filthy right now, but the shower is just so far away and right now, this couch is the most comfortable thing I've lain in all day. Maybe I should take an nap... Another one. I haven't even been counting how many naps I've taken. Depression naps seem to have made themselves pretty common in my life. Not that I'm too upset about it though, sleeping is a lot more entertaining than being awake. Dreams and fantasy, they're all so striking, so exciting... Haha, gosh, I'm boring... 

I'd go on about the rest of my day, it was just full of the same thing. Throw in like, one meal? ...What, I wasn't too hungry today!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the not promised second chapter to that one thing I said I kinda wasn't going to continue. 
> 
> Feedback has been positive, so for the few that actually enjoy this mess, I'll expand on the story for a bit. I have no idea where I'm taking this, though, I just start typing and let what I imagine Sayori would do lead me around the place. Hopefully this is still coherent in the end though, haha

Well, my mind decided to be a meanie and woke up at 3 AM... And, ugh, try as I might, I can't will myself back to sleep. What time did I even fall asleep last night? Why am I on the couch..? I quickly looked around for my phone. Found it on the ground next to the coffee table..! Oh...oh it's dead. Well that's just... _absolutely wonderful_.

Well, I'm up, can't go back to sleep, sun isn't up yet, today's starting off just brilliantly. 

After plugging my phone in back in my room, I checked the time again. Only 3:05... What to do what to do... School doesn't start until 8...

Doing nothing isn't something I'm too keen on today, much to my relief, I actually have _some_ energy to do things. Maybe a warm breakfast? I haven't had one of those in a while...

Wandering down to the kitchen I mused through the cupboards and fridge, wondering what I could slap together and call a coherent meal... Let's see...

Eggs that I'm pretty sure are still good to eat... Plenty of bread, some left over pancake mix from when the girls and I had a sleepover here... Huh, pancakes... Pancakes! Let's see, do I got the rest of the stuff I need..? 

Yes, yes I do! Ohho, this is gonna be so nice for once! I excitedly snatch all the ingredients and began the process of mixing up the batter. I was by no means a Natsuki when it comes to cooking, but I'd like to consider myself runner up, maybe... That may be a bit too narssitic though... Hmm... Never mind that, I'm getting pancakes for breakfast!! 

I didn't even realize I was humming a happy tune to myself until I moved to put some ingredients back into the fridge and I heard my voice bounce off the inside. A stretch I know, but it just happened so you're gonna have to trust me on that. 

Stove hot, pan ready, batter mixed, spatula poised..! 

It's go time!! 

I, hehe, I maybe poured a bit too much batter in the first go. To excited! Looks like I'm getting a pretty big fat pancake first! At the same time, I was wondering if it'll cook all the way through before the outside got burnt... What if the inside is just a bit mushy, kinda like a medium rare version of a pancake..? ...That's...curious...

Well, if it happens, it happens! The scent of breakfast filled the room quickly and frankly, remembering how much I ate yesterday, I'm surprised that I have this much energy. Maybe I was just banking energy from yesterday to be used today or something. What a weird way to think of things. A lot of me is weird, to be honest...

Focus, gotta focus! Pancakes are on the line here, Sayori! With a little difficulty, I managed to flip it just fine. Brilliant! 

One burn injury on my hand cause of my overzealous pancake cooking and a whole bowl of batter later, I was done!! 4 Pancakes and 1 beef cake of a pancake rested on a plate in front of me! All my work! I worked on this! I did it!! Now, about this burn uhhh...

Honestly, I have no idea what to do to care for a burn injury, uhmm... Just... A bandaid for now? I could maybe ask Natsuki later. 

Now then! What's the time? 

Huh, almost 4... Well, it passed some time, but let's eat! That big pancake's been staring at me since I took it off the pan! Syrup syrup syrup, where's...uhh...huh...I uhh...

I crossed my arms and huffed.  
"Well, that's just unfortunate..." I muttered to myself, trying to wrack my brain to see what I could do about this... I got the money, maybe a quick jog over to the local convenience store..? But I was in no state to be heading outside... I was still in my pj's, and I still haven't taken a shower yet... But... For the pancakes..! 

Stuffing the entire plate of pancakes into the microwave in an attempt to keep them warm, I bounded across my house, snatching up a light wind breaker, my money, and slipping on my shoes, without socks, cause I don't got time for that right now! 

I rested my hand against the front door's knob. Operation Sweet Syrupy Goodness has begun! I flung open the front door, making sure to lock it before heading on off to retrieve my rightly deserved syrup! 

Well there! I put my syrup on the checkout counter and the guy behind it took out on ear bud and looked at me with some weird expression... Oh, goodness, why...

"I don't know what a cutie like you is doing out this late, buying syrup..." He started, ugh, I was...really not in the mood for this... I just didn't respond and avoided eye contact, poking my fingers together to try and pass the time. 

"I'll give a friends' and family discount if you gimme your number" He bartered. No, no, no, no!! 

"U-uhhmm, ahaaha, n-no thanks, I just wanna get back home." I replied shakily. The way this dude was looking at me made me feel sick. This dude was just gross, I just want my syrup!! Please! Goodness he even looks way older than me, does he have any shame?? 

He looked disappointed. "Aww, C'mon, I promise I'll treat you right!" He insisted, scanning my syrup and tapping the screen a few times. I'm pretty sure he gave me the discount regardless... Ugh. The little price readout screen displayed the price for me to pay, and honestly, I'm not too keen on staying here any longer than I have to. I just slapped a bill of larger value on the counter and snatched my syrup. 

"K-keep the change!!" I piped up hurriedly as I ran and fled the scene. I really really didn't want to look back. 

I don't know how long I ran, but when I was out of breath, I was near my house anyways... Ugh, that was the worst...

I opened up my house and shut the door behind me, flipping the lock and tossing the syrup over onto a loveseat before collapsing on the couch I woke up in, taking the time to catch my breath. 

What a freak... Like he had a mustache and some gray hairs?? Just thinking about him gives me the creeps... Ugh, I feel so drained...

Then again, I don't really have any reason to be holding myself above him... I don't really have much worth either and he was still interested I guess??? No, I really shouldn't, I'm not that bad... Am I..? 

I really shouldn't be thinking about this, but... He was just the worst and he cared enough to tell me I'm cute even though I hadn't cleaned up in like, 4 days now? Did he even know what he was talking about?

Why was I even there? Oh... Right, syrup. Pancakes... Pancakes. 

I got up and fetched the syrup and wandered into the kitchen, my legs complaining slightly, but food does sound pretty nice right around now. Anything to get my mind off that gross goober... I wonder if any of my friends think I'm a gross goober... Probably, there's been several days I've gone to school without showering... 

I pulled the pancakes out of the microwave and felt for the temperature. They're still kinda warm luckily enough. How long was I out anyways..? What's the time..? 4:27 AM? Huh... 

Taking the big pancake onto own plate, I slapped some butter on there, drizzled on some syrup. Okay, a lot of syrup, cause my sweet tooth knows no bounds. 

Ah, it was just delicious... Was it worth the trouble cooking it? Yeah. Was it worth running to the store for some syrup...? ...I'm still debating on that, but worth it or not, I'm glad I did. 

I didn't really think too much while eating those pancakes, I was just enjoying myself. But when I was full and done, there was just 2 left. Yeah, I guess I was pretty hungry. Hmm...

I glanced at a clock as I headed up stairs. It was just about 5:10 now. Still a bit too early for my liking... How was my phone doing..? Ah, 80%, nice. 

I sat down on my bed and turned it on finally, waiting for it to boot up and show me what I had missed. 

Game notifications, voicemails, the usual... It didn't seem like anyone else was awake at this time... I glanced outside. It was still pretty dark, but the horizon was just barely tinted orange. I smiled a bit. 

The sun was coming. Just like it always does. 

I turned back to my phone and opened the group chat. 

_[5:12 AM] HappyThoughts: Hey, if anyone else is awake I got 2 left over pancakes that no one's claimed yet! You got till school starts or they're all mine!_

I gave a calm sigh and flopped backwards in bed. Oh..? My phone vibrated? Is someone awake..? 

_[5:12 AM] Tuff-Cake: Holy shit Sayori, omw!!!_

_[5:12 AM] HappyThoughts: Natsuki?? What're you doing up so early???_

_[5:12 AM] Tuff-Cake: Been looking for an excuse to get out of this dump, I have my reasons. Be there in a few!_

I blinked and sighed before setting my phone aside. Natsuki always is so excited and adamant about being out of her house. She must be pretty adventurous! Considering her personality, they could very well be the case. Either way, having a friend over would really help pass the time. I just hope she doesn't get too bored of me before she finishes those pancakes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, friends are super nice. People who would stick through thick and thin to make sure you still see the sun rise the next day. 
> 
> If you've been having troubles with stuff like depression, there isn't any shame in calling for help. Even just little bits like chatting with a friend over text or Discord can really help. 
> 
> Take care of yourselves out there. It's a pretty dangerous world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was posted within like, 5-6 hours of the last one? I'm kinda enjoying writing again, but...I should probably pace myself before I get burnt out... Mmh...

Just as she promised, Natsuki was at the door within a few minutes with... Dark circles under her eyes..? Her expression gave me the impression that she was probably going to scarf down those last two pancakes almost instantly. When did she get so famished? I wanted to ask, but she was already inside and looking around for the sacrificial pancakes for her to devour. Did she have a limp..? 

I closed the door and turned to the girl who was now giving me a confused, almost puppy dog look. 

"Oh, the pancakes are in the microwave." I piped up. Natsuki was already pulling them out before I continued. "Kept them there to keep them warm. Syrup's on the counter." I told her what she needed to know, though she was already stuffing one into her mouth as she pranced over to the counter to, also, drown her other pancake in syrupy goodness as she almost inhaled the first. She just started eating right there at the counter, not caring to move over to a more comfortable spot. 

"Really that hungry, huh?" I asked, having to hold back a giggle. As funny as this was, the fact that resident iron chef Natsuki was this famished made for some concerning news. The pink haired girl just hummed, focusing more on the food than anything else right now. 

The two pancakes were gone in less than 3 minutes. Natsuki took a moment to gather herself and clear her throat before finally speaking. 

"Y-Your cooking's gotten pretty good, Sayori." She stated firmly in a manner that reminded me of those competitive cooking shows. I gave a soft laugh and scratched the back of my neck. 

"I just felt like whipping something up is all. I'm glad you liked it, ehee!" I replied, a compliment by chef Natsuki were far and in between. "But I've never seen you so hungry before. You have enough to eat yesterday?" 

Natsuki visibly tensed up a bit. "I...I was just really excited to see how your cooking was coming along." She murmured, crossing her arms defensively. It was an obvious lie, but I didn't press any further. If it was something she was ready to open up about, she'd talk about it right..? Like me... I'm really not wanting my friends to know I have such a failing of a disorder. Having them worry about me just feels so...greedy. It's even worse if they start to work to try and help me... I really am a lost cause, maybe-

"Sayo, you listening?" Natsuki wove a hand in front of my face. Oh goodness I must've zoned out. 

"I'm sorry, aha, I guess I zoned out! Run it by me one more time?" Great going Sayori, you've officially tuned out one of your best friends, what a terrible friend you are maybe you should just dissappear, get personally deleted from existence so you friends won't have to put up with you stupid stupid shenanigans you worthless-

"Sayo!!" Natsuki shook my shoulders and snapped back, again... I gave her an honestly sorry smile. Well, I wanted to, for all she knows it could have been a snarky one...

"I-I'm really sorry, Natsuki. I don't know what's...what's..." I can feel tears coming. I needed to get out of here somehow... I can't... 

"Sayori, what's wrong?" Natsuki asked, apparently seeing the tears in my eyes?? Oh goodness... I took a shaky breath and wiped my eyes clean again with a sleeve before trying to put on my most convincing grin. 

"I'm just so happy you like my cooking so much!" I _lied_. I lied through my smiling teeth, right to my friend. When she finds out she's going to be so mad... I'm so sorry, Natsuki, not now... I'm not ready... 

"I ahh, well, yeah, of course! I've had the feeling your cooking's been improving!" Natsuki actually bought the bluff..?? She's... She's not that gullible is she? 

We both sat in silence for a few seconds, my brain threatening a major breakdown, and Natsuki looking a bit antsy. This is...not how I planned things would be going. 

"Uhhmm... Yeahh... Wanna play some games? We could continue that play through of that one game.. Uhh.."

"O-oh! Yeah, I know what you're talking about, here lemme get it booted up." I piped up, tone way happier than I though I could manage given my current mental state. It also seemed to have caught Natsuki off guard too, since she kinda jumped. 

After a moment, I got the game going and handed Natsuki the remote.  
"Here, you play for now. I have a lot of fun watching you girls play all the time honestly!" I said. That's not really a lie at all at least. I loved watching the other girls play and laughs and joke and even get frustrated. All that, and well, I really didn't feel like playing anything right now. Natsuki seemed to consider something but takes the remote anyways. 

Natsuki was probably right behind Monika for Video Game 'potency', like, she could pick up a game and be pretty decent at it almost immediately. It was honestly a kind of admirable trait. I usually struggled to learn games. 

Besides some idle chit chat and jokes here and there, Natsuki seemed to be plowing through the game just fine until that one frustrating part, oh, I remember this part. Took me weeks to beat, and Natsuki was having trouble too. 

"Ggh- C'mon, just get over that..! Why??" Natsuki kicked and squirmed in her seat out of frustration it was kinda cute to be completely honest. She was super focused on trying to beat this one level. The next attempt was also a failure and I threw my arms up in acting exasperation, laughing as I gave a resounding 'Awww!'. 

What I didn't expect was for Natsuki to figuratively teleport behind the couch, peeking over with...fear. Fear in her eyes. What did..?  
"N-Natsuki? What's...?"

The other girl blinked back into reality and breathed slowly, climbing back over the couch.  
"I-It's...its nothing, it's just ah, sudden movement in the corner of my eye. Kinda spooky y'know? Don't tell Yuri or she'll spook me every day, alright?" Natsuki have a nervous laugh. Before I could reply she's already thrown herself back into the game...

Some time passed and Natsuki elected to play a different game, getting too fed up with the current challenge. I can understand, and begun digging through my modest collection of games to see what would entertain us both... Until my phone vibrated. Natsuki's seemed to as well as she glanced over at her own phone resting on the couch's arm rest. 

Ah, it's was the group chat!

_[7:01 AM] Just Moni~: Goodness you two, did either of you get any sleep at all?_

Natsuki gave a scoff and I could hear her typing. 

_[7:01 AM] Tuff-Cake: Sleep is for the weak! And I ain't no weakling!_

I heard the 'not weakling' giggle afterwards. 

_[7:01 AM] HappyThoughts: I did!_

"Oh! You're weak!" Natsuki pointed accusingly at me. 

"Me?" I responded, hand on my chest as I've just been accused!! "We'll see who's weak during literature club time!"

"Is that a challenge, weakling? I don't take challenges from weaklings!" Natsuki crossed her arms triumphantly. I turned to my phone and started typing. 

_[7:02 AM] HappyThoughts: Moniiiii, Natsuki's bullying meeee!!!!_

"Wha-Hey! Thats cheating!" I heard Natsuki cry out playfully. A giggled devilishly, ahaa, the miracle of friendship... 

_[7:02 AM] Tuff-Cake: Monika! You stay out of this!!_

_[7:02 AM] Just Moni~: Girls, behave._

_[7:02 AM] HappyThoughts: Moni, pleaseeeee!!!_

_[7:02 AM] Just Moni~: I can only do so much, Sayori, I'm afraid Natsuki is just too Tuff for us._

Natsuki snorted and giggled. Cute... 

_[7:02 AM] Tuff-Cake: Yeah, that's right!!_

_[7:03 AM] Just Moni~: Though I do promise we will rebel soon and dethrone this tyrant!_

Both Natsuki and I were giggling messes now! 

"W-wait, no, hehehah!!" Natsuki giggled out, typing on her screen quickly, trying to contain herself. 

_[7:03 AM] Tuff-Cake: I welcome your attempts, peasants!! Come at me!!_

_[7:03 AM] Just Moni~: Maybe later you Tyrant! Are there any pancakes left?_

_[7:03 AM] HappyThoughts: Sorry! Tyrant Natsuki literally inhaled them when she arrived!_

_[7:03 AM] Tuff-Cake: And it was delicious! Gosh it was so good! I really wish I could share it but they're all gone now!! Bummer!_

_[7:03 AM] Just Moni~: Oh, what a shame. Am I still invited to join you two?_

_[7:03 AM] HappyThoughts: Of course, Moni!! You're always welcome to my place!!_

_[7:04 AM] Just Moni~: Aw, how sweet, vice-prez! Just give me some time to get ready and eat some breakfast. I'll be arriving soon!_

"Ah, always have to be the cute, caring type, huh?" Natsuki asked, picking up the controller again while looking back at me. "Pick a game, vice-prez." 

"O-oh! Right!" I went back to musing through my games. Natsuki called me cute?? AND caring?? That's all just stuff normal friends would be telling each other right?? Right! Though, I'd love to call Natsuki 'cute', I'm sure she'd rather have my head deep into the drywall of my house before that happened, so I guess I'll hold my tongue for now. 

Actually...what...wait... Some creeper guy calls me cute and I get all uncomfortable and wanna run away... Natsuki calls me cute and I get kinda embarrassed and flustered? Mmh... Probably just cause he's some stranger. I'm sure any other girl would've ran away from him too, so I guess I really shouldn't think too hard about it... 

During that little bit though, I did fish out a puzzle game that happened to catch my interest. I actually didn't know how Natsuki felt about puzzle games, so, here's to finding out..! 

"...Sayori, what the fuck is this?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, I'm tater and I never learned how to write about love, welcome to the ride.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I turned in early yesterday and when I woke up today, goodness, I was actually in awe at how much positive reception this little mess of a fic got overnight! Just as a small reminder, I wasn't planning on continuing this, but then here we are, chapter 4 out of... Iunno. I don't even have a plot diagram laid out. 
> 
> Also, I'm not gonna throw in relationship tags just yet, cause I just wanna see if these two hurt lovebirds hook up first through actual character development rather than forcing it. I'm at the edge of my seat just as much as you all are. 
> 
> Point being, you all made this fic into what it is now. Give yourselves a pat on the back. Or a hug. Cause that's what I wanna do to each and every one of you! 
> 
> Thank you for having faith in me and this story!

"I-It's just a puzzle game!" 

"This looks like it's a little more than just a puzzle game!"

"N-Natsuki please! Don't think too much about it!"

Of course I had to have forgotten that this particular puzzle game was...also some...dating...thing...

What?? I think the girls are cute! 

"S-seriously, Sayori, it's almost like you like girls or something." Natsuki muttered. I could feel my face starting to melt into some blushy mush oh goodness... 

"I-I played this game for completely platonic reasons!" 

"Yeah, sure, nothing like some good ol gal pals, am I right?"

"Yeah!! Just..! Just gal pals!"

"Juuuust gal-"

"Natsuki, if you keep going on about this I'm gonna pick a different game!"

"Yeah, sure, go ahead, puzzle games aren't really my deal anyways!"

"O-oh, really? I-I'll pick a different game then..! Uhh... Let's see..." I went back to digging through my games... Now Natsuki thinks I'm gay... I mean, I don't think I am! I...never actually put much thought into my preferences. I just kinda, rolled with whatever was happening... Were there any guys I liked..?

There...there was my childhood friend way back when...goodness what was his name..? We went to like, kindergarten together...? Did I like him? Like, did I _like like_ him..? He was my only friend way back when so...I don't really...know... I did enjoy spending time with him! Cause...we were friends and all... But... Mmhh... 

"Saayyyyooo" Natsuki called from the couch and I felt my blush phase back into existence...

"Sorry! Uhhh..." Pick a game pick a game pick a game... Uhh.. "Up for tackling that one challenge again?" I...couldn't think of any other game I had that Natsuki would enjoy... 

"...I...sure, I guess. If I still can't beat it by the time Monika gets here, then I guess she'll pull off some hacking witchcraft or something and do it first try." The pinkette replied, leaning back, crossing her arms, and giving a small huff. She seemed a bit jealous of Monika's gaming wizardry as well. Honestly I think all of us were. 

After putting the game back in there and letting Natsuki get back to where that horribly tough spot was. The girl took a deep breath and put on her focused face as she tried and tried again to tackle this behemoth of a wall. I offered some tips but Natsuki claimed she'd already tried them with no success. 

A knock at the door.  
"I got it!" I claimed as I hopped up and ran over, skidding across the wood floor with my socks before opening the door. 

"Monika! Welcome to my humble abode!" I chimed with a bow, stepping aside for the president of the literature club.

"Monika! Come help me with this, I've been stuck for ages!" Natsuki called from the game room. President Monika just scoffed. 

"Natsuki's voluntarily calling for help? That must be a tough spot." She mused playfully. I nodded, leading Monika over to the game room where Natsuki's cries of frustration were coming from. 

"This stupid little piece of..! Monika!!" Natsuki turned and chucked...no...tossed..? Threw? What's the right word... Yuri would know...

Well, regardless, the controller flew through the air and Monika, though she was visibly caught off guard, caught it in one hand. So cool..! 

"Alright, alright, let's see what we're dealing with." Monika hummed, walking over and setting her school bag down on the floor next to the couch before sitting down and focusing on the screen... Oh.. School, yeah, that existed, what time is it..? 

7:32? Oh... Oh goodness, I had to get ready! I still haven't showered yet! Do I even have the time to shower?? I heard my phone go off with what I assume to be a group chat notification, but now was not the time for me to hang around! 

"You two have fun girls, I gotta get ready!!" I chimed as I ran out of the room and into my own. Where was my uniform? Oh goodness... Ah there! Alright alright... Uhh... Shower, shower, do I have the time for a shower... No, better not risk being late. I missed yesterday, let's not miss today! It's a 10 minute walk from my place to school too, so, gaah, Monika likes arriving early too! We'd need to leave right now!! 

I rushed myself, getting dressed as quickly as I could! There was no time to waste! 

I hurriedly slip out of room, not caring to button my overshirt thingy, whatever. When I got back down to the game room... Uh... 

Let's just say I've never seen Monika actually frustrated before. She was still keeping her cool, but each failed attempt was...taxing, on her demeanor... 

"H-hey, let's head out, yeah? We can keep trying to beat that after school or something, right?" I offered. 

"Yeah, we don't have to beat it right now, y'know!" Natsuki agreed. Monika paused, took a deep breath, then stood up.

"Yes, that's a good idea." She replied finally, turning to me with a smile. Something told me it was forced, but I wasn't about to get onto Monika's bad side because I was just curious. 

It just took a small bit to shut off everything and pack up, making sure we has all our stuff with up before we left. 

The first few seconds of the commute to school was in total silence, save the footsteps on cement. Then... 

"Seriously who made that map? I'm sure that little section is impossible!" Monika piped up finally, frustration aplenty in her tone. 

"I don't know, I've been trying to best that for like, hours and it's just so stupidly hard! Who would even design something like that in the first place??" Natsuki popped in. She...still had that limp. It wasn't nearly as bad as it was earlier but it was still there... Has Monika noticed..? 

My mind wandered who when I accidentally put in that dating puzzle game thing... Natsuki...she...didn't hold back when it comes to teasing me about it when it was relevant. I looked over at Natsuki, who was still chatting with Monika about the game. She was shorter, cute, that short pink hair and little clip in the front. That brash attitude and bold bravado, she was...a piece of work, simply put. But, that limp, her ravenous hunger earlier... She's hiding something, and that something probably has hurt her... I wanted to help her with her problems, but she... She wasn't ready to talk about them. At least I assume she had problems she isn't ready to talk about... 

But like, if someone figure out I had depression and tried to help me before I was ready to talk about it, I'd feel pretty...well, pretty stupid and silly... Depression isn't just something that you can just, will away, much to my unending displeasure. It's just... Terrible, and I don't want my friends to have to shoulder that baggage that I have. I've been doing fine by myself anyways, so there's really no reason I shouldn't be able to handle it all on my own. 

"There was this one game I was struggling at wh-wwhhoaaa!" 

"Oh my gosh, Natsuki! Are you alright??"

I blinked back into reality, what just happened..? Oh. We were at a curb and Natsuki had tripped... She got a really nasty gash on her knee!

"Natsukiii! Did it hurt?? Are you okay??" I ran over, realizing how far behind I was and got a close up of the scape. It was bloodied, but... There were other blemishes too... Faint...bruises that have nearly healed... Natsuki yanked her leg away from me. 

"I-I'm fine. I'll just...visit the nurse later. I'm used to this anyways." Natsuki mumbled, getting a frown from both Monika and I. She seemed to notice and fumbled for something to add. "U-used to it as in I'mmmmm aaaaa heh... Uhmm... Just have a high pain tolerance! Yeah!" 

Monika glanced at me to see what I though of this and I returned a shrug. 

"My first block is a study hall, I can spend it to hang out in the nurse's with you and study up on what I missed yesterday." I offered. 

"No! I-I mean...It's okay, it's fine, Sayori, I'm fine. Just, don't mind me, alright?"

"Natsuki, it's hard to not mind you when you've got blood coming out of your knee! What if it gets infected or something??"

"Sayori! I'm fucking fine! Leave me alone!" And with that, Natsuki stood up and limped off, the school visible in the distance, leaving Monika and I behind. She got some weird looks from other students but a quick bark of 'What're you looking at!?' seemed to make other students focus on something else. 

"Moni... Is... Is she gonna be fine..?" I asked, still slightly in shock at the fact that Natsuki snapped at us. Monika just sighed and shrugged, offering a hand to me. Oh, right, I was still on the ground when I knelt down to look at Natsuki's leg... I took her hand and pulled myself up, dusting myself off in the process. 

"I don't know, Sayori..." Was all Monika replied with. 

"Oh, Monika! Sayori!" I heard a soft voice behind us and a quick glance over my shoulder confirmed, the voice belonged to Yuri. "Where's--" Yuri had covered her mouth to hide a giggle. "Where's Tyrant Natsuki? I thought she'd be with you two?" Monika and I traded glances. 

"Sheeee aaaaaahh.... Just went up ahead." I blurted out. Yuri let out a soft hum of acknowledgment and walked up to join us. 

"Did I miss anything exciting?" The taller girl asked. 

"Uhm, nothing much. Just a whole lot of...uh...difficult times." Monika spoke up, crossing her arms. 

"They couldn't beat this one part of this game I'm letting them play." I added. Monika just sighed, rubbing her forehead. 

"It's impossible, Sayori."

"No it isn't! I beat it!! I beat the game!!" I replied defensively! If I can beat it eventually, then Monika should be able to beat it too! 

"It's just that one monster on that ledge..."

"That's what Natsuki was getting hung up on too. And me when I was at that part." I replied. Yuri just continued to look between us as we made our way inside the building. 

A part of me was still worrying about Natsuki... I pulled out my phone to shoot her a text but on the lock screen it reminded me that there was a few messages left in the group chat I hadn't checked on and...that...oh..oh no... 

My meds... I forgot to take my meds today...


	5. C̸hap͞ter͞ 5̕

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, uh, I don't know what the heck happened but things got super dark this chapter. Everyone lives, don't worry, I wouldn't ever dare kill off any of these precious beans but... Well, I'm gonna gonna say that I'm pretty.... Not confident about this chapter. Hopefully you guys still like angst I guess?

"Sayori? Is something the matter?" Yuri's voice snagged my attention. I locked my phone and hit it behind my back as I turned to her. 

"Nnnope! I was just gonna shoot Nastuki a text was all. I'll see you bunch at lunch!" I waved as I jogged into the school building. Great great, absolutely wonderful, good going, Sayori, you forgot to take your medication.

What were side effects from forgetting meds for a day..? I remember something mentioned about feeling sick? Like a fever kinda deal..? Along with a few other things..? I don't remember fully, which is why I'm a useless piece offf...ugh, get a hold of yourself Sayori, just a day, just a day, you can survive a day without your meds, just...stay calm and relax... Where was... Ah, right here. Right. I cracked open my locker and noticed the bandage on my hand. Oh, I completely forgot the ask Natsuki how to handle burns. I was gonna ask her cause she may have been the most used to it since she cooks a bunch, but... Now I'm not too sure if she even wants to talk to me, not after what happened... 

She seemed really angry. Did I say something wrong then? What could have I said that could have made her so angry? 

...I don't even really remember what I said, I was just remember feeling super worried... Mmnh... Great memory Sayori... 

My meds actually do help, really, since I'm not distracted all the time thinking about how worthless I really am... My parents know how bad I can get and they still just leave me alone at my house... Maybe they just don't really care about me in the first place and they're just waiting for me to...to kill myself..? My parents wouldn't want that would they? I don't...

I blink into reality again. I'm sitting in my desk, class has started already, teacher's going off about...uh...numbers..? Math math, plus and minus, multiply and divide... Ugh... Math sucks. I hate math. Math probably hates me too. Math hates everyone, really. It's...really annoying how important math is though. Like, for budgeting and rent and interest at the bank... I probably wouldn't be a good adult at all... I'd just lose all my money with stupid mistakes and die in the streets... Or the ditch... Whichever comes first...  
Which ever comes....

I blinked my eyes... Where... Monika! The president turned to me with a serious, cold expression. 

"Sayori, your poems are too lacking right now, I have no choice but to expel you from the club." She stated. The words rung over and over in my head, what... No... 

"M-Monika?? Wh-why?? Couldn't you have told me how to get better??"

"No, you're a lost cause, Sayori, it'd just be better if you just didn't exist anymore. You're just taking up that entire house for yourself, a family could be living there right now, a different, more deserving girl could be in your spot right now." I felt my eyes stinging, my chest felt empty and tight at the same time?? 

"B-bu-bu...M-Monika..?" My voice cracked, pathetically, I was shaking, this was so... Wrong, but was it really that wrong...? What I've heard was...it was all stuff I already knew... 

"Monika is right, Sayori. I honestly can't believe you're still around today." Yuri faded into view. No, not her too...

"Seriously, you fucking idiot, why haven't you rotted yet? You're just pathetic, you know?" Natsuki appeared too. For...for some reason, her words hurt the most...

"N-Natsuki..! Nat...Natsu..." I just started blubbering like a fucking idiot. A big blubbering useless idiot. I fell to my knees, staring at the...black nothingness... Where I belong... 

Suddenly I started shaking, like, I was really shaking, as if someone was... 

"Miss Sayori!" I heard. Loud. In my ear. I jumped with a cry and I was back in the classroom. The teacher was up in my face, and... Everyone was staring... At me... I kinda laughed... Nervously. 

"H-hey... Teach..." I offered weakly, wiping tears from my face. 

"Sayori, you miss yesterday without a note, you're sleeping through today's class... One more offense, and I'm going to ask you to stay after school for detention. Do you understand?"

"L-loud and clear..." I replied shakily... I really deserved this... The teacher didn't seem satisfied with my answer though... "C-crystal Clear, sir..!" I added with the best salute I could manage. He gave a disappointed huff and turned away. I could hear some other students stifle their laughter. Honestly, laugh at me, I couldn't care anymore. 

"Good. Now, back to the lesson..."

I...hate math...

Lunch was a blessing...and a curse...  
Bad food at always but I kinda wasn't hungry. I really just wanted to be left alone. I know gossip and rumors spread like wildfire and the other girls would know what happened... Especially since Monika was probably the most popular girl in the school... I just...sat inside, near the bathrooms, away from where we usually meet outside, under that one tree in the courtyard. And I was just feeling...completely out of it. My stomach was doing some stupid stuff, probably cause of that stupid teacher yelling at me in class... Fucking stupid stupid stupid.... 

A bathroom door opened, and out stepped someone I wasn't really keen on seeing right now... I just sat still, hoping she wouldn't see me... But... 

"S-Sayori?" I took a shaky breath, closing my eyes. Please just go away... "Sayori, what's...what's going on?" The girl sat next to me, looking over at me with curious, worried eyes that... Still had those dark circles under them. Of course it had to be Natsuki, though I'm surprised she hadn't made fun of me yet... I'm terrible anyways... Her knee was patched up...kind of. It looked like a jerry rigged bandage with some paper towel and gauze wrapped haphazardly around the wound. "Oh, is it because of that thing that happened in second class?" She asked, watching my face. I just looked away, not wanting to respond. 

"Sayo, you know Tauber's a big dumbass, right?" She asked, gently placing a hand in my shoulder. I flinched away. She seemed surprised... Don't pretend to like me... Just say it... Say you hate me... Instead she didn't say nothing. We just sat there together in silence. I had no willpower to speak or move, and...Natsuki didn't leave me... Why..? 

"There you two are..! What... What happened..?" I heard Monika's voice after a bit... Why did she have to show up... Is she here to expel me from the club like in my dream..? 

"I... I wish I could tell you, Monika. All I got is that Tauber yelled at her for dozing off in class." Natsuki replied. I hiccuped... Was I crying..? In front of them?? 

"Oh dear..." Was all I heard from... Yuri... Of the course she's here too... 

Okay okay okay okay, Sayori!! Happy thoughts!! Happy thoughts Happy thoughts!!!! Sunshine and Rainbows!! Not dying!! Friendship! Are they really friends though..? Gggggghhhh!!! I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this!!!! I hate this stupid disorder, and I hate those stupid pills!!!! 

I tuned out the rest of the day. I wasn't wanting to deal with anything... I just wanted to go home...sleep...maybe forever..? Still deciding... My phone had vibrated a few times as I walked out of the last class of the day... Literature... The literature club... Do I... Go..? No... Nono, they're just gonna talk about what happened... I don't want to think about anything right now, I just wanted to go home...

Home.

Open door.  
Close door.  
Drop bag.  
Head upstairs.  
Open door.  
Close door.  
Stare at bed.  
Stare at ceiling... There... There was that one hook up there for a hanging plant... Heh, a plant... 

Mmh... Maybe... 

...Nah. Not enough energy... Wow, that's your excuse, Sayori? Not enough energy to kill yourself? ...I...I do have that rope from back when I want camping with my family for the last time before... Mmmhh... Where... Where was it..? 

There... Right in the closet. Right where I left it.

Now...how to tie...a...a noose...? It felt...dark, thinking that, but it's... It's for the better, right..? I'm gone, my friends don't have to deal with me anymore... Tauber can have the pleasure of a better student than me in his class... I'm sure... I'm sure everyone will probably laugh off my death and manage just fine...

I sat on my bed with the rope in hand and pulled out my phone. A quick Internet search will answer my question...

How to tie a noose...

There were a handful of notifications. The group chat and PMs from all three of my 'Friends'... They're just pretending to like me anyways. 

Monika has no reason to be hanging out with me besides the fact that she probably felt bad for me...

Yuri had better things to do too. She's soft and gentle, unlike me, I'm just a fake...a nobody...

Natsuki...Natsuki...she...she's loud... Brash... Cute... Not afraid to make herself heard, she's bold, next to fearless... The best kind of girl to spit in the beady eyes of danger. I feel like she's going to be the one who laughs the hardest out of the three when they find out I'm dead... 

Okay, so... Up and down... Wrap around back up... Through the hoop...and... That... That looks like a noose... Was it really that easy..? I slipped it around my wrist and pulled it taught. It... It was really that easy... Wow. Uhmm... It... It locks too, it took a bit of effort for me to loosen it enough to get my hand out... Perfect... Just...

I let out another pathetic hiccup... I was crying... Again... Awesome... 

I pulled up my desk chair and reached up, making the last knot that secured my...noose...to the ceiling... My phone started vibrating a lot... Was someone calling me..? Ah...Natsuki...weren't they still back at the club..? Why is she calling me..? 

I hesitated... Do I pick up..? No..? No... I don't deserve to hear her voice... That's a privilege for those who...aren't dirty liars...

I stood there, on my desk chair, noose inches away from my face... Why was I getting so hesitant now? This was for the better of everyone..! For everyone.... 

Deep breath, Sayori... Deeeeep breath... Shouldn't take more oxygen than I need to but... Okay... Slip my head through the loop... The rope was...resting against my neck... It felt so...compomising...weird... 

Dreadful, almost... 

My heart was going crazy, why? What was I waiting for? Why was I so nervous?? 

Just... Just one leap and... It's all over... One... Exciting jump into the great beyond... Where I belong... 

I heard knocking at my front door... Did I forget to lock the front door..?? 

Just... Okay, okay, just one... Leap...

Bend my knees...  
Jump. 

... 

... 

... 

... 

... 

While... While I was midair, time itself... Kinda...slowed...it was weird. I felt my neck brush up against the rope, pulling it tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter and... It pulled taught and something in my neck made a...rather uncomfortable sound.

Then I kept falling. Falling falling...

The floor. I hit the floor and it hurt. Bad. Was... Was I not dead..? I still felt the noose around my neck, tight. It was tough to breathe but... Possible... I looked up and... The rope had snapped. The rope I trusted to take my life in one painless fell swoop had just broken... Just my luck considering everything else that's happened today... 

My bedroom door burst open. I turned towards the entrance. Natsuki was there, breathing hard, obviously winded. Yuri and Monika were behind her, both seeming like they had a jog too... Why were they... Here..? They... 

Natsuki took in the scene and she stared at me. She stared down at me with those baggy, tired, pink eyes and... 

"S-Sayori!!" She yelled. Her voice carried... Absolute _fury_.  
"Sayori!! You..! You big DUMMY!!" She stomped towards me, I closed my eyes expecting a punch or a kick or a something... 

No, she...hugged me... Tight...  
"Why... Why would you do this..?? Why would you do this to yourself???" The pinkette was...starting to break down, her voice was wavering and she shuddered... I couldn't really do much besides just... Stare at nothing. I couldn't move... I didn't want to move... 

Monika and Yuri had said their own words as they came in for a hug, but I couldn't hear them... Not over Natsuki's sobbing... She... She never cried...

I wasn't keeping track of time, but it felt like we've been there for hours... I didn't notice when I started crying either, but... I was too tired to question anything now. I just...too tired for anything... 

Darkness started to close in on my vision... Huh... My neck still hurt... Really badly but... Maybe a small nap... Just a nap. 

A depression nap...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A̕͡҉w̸w͟,̛͢ ͢s҉h̸̵̨e w̵̸̕as̸̕͡ ̛͘s̸̴҉o͠͞ ̢͞c̨l̸͢ơşe͟͠͡.̡͘.̶͘͡.͞ ̶Ge̕tt̛͡i͠n̢g r̢i̧̡͞d ͜͞o̧҉f̵̵̛ ̸͢͟o͠n͜e͏ ҉̴o̕f ̴͢t͡h̨͜͡e̴s͢e̵͘ ̛b͡r̕a̛t͞s̕ ̡i̛s̶ ҉h̷ą͢͡ŗ̢d̶̕e̸r̕ ͘th̵̨̢a͜͠n̸ ͞I̸̢̢ ̷a͠n̸͘͠t̛i̕͡ci͡͡p̵̸at̨e͞͡d͜.҉҉..̕͡m̢ḩh...̶̡͝


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, every time I upload a new chapter, I get anxious, I'm constantly wondering how you all will take it. 
> 
> Last chapter was the most nervous I've felt, but... You all, haha... I... I really wanted to cry I was so happy with how you all took it. And all the positive feedback, gosh, I really appreciate each and every one of the comments you bunch send in, I've read over them all like, 10 times already, they make me so happy! I really want to reply too, but I don't want to artificially inflate my comment counter to make it seem like I'm trying to make a bigger deal out of this than it already is. Just... Know that I appreciate everything you all do for me down there in the comments section. 
> 
> Enough sappy stuff though. I got a story to tell, so welcome to the ride, keep your hands and feet inside the cart at all times, and enjoy yourselves.

Well, here I was again. In the big dark abyss of nothingness. Who was going to yell at me this time..? I didn't want to hear anything, I was just...so drained, exhausted, I didn't want...I really didn't want to function even... 

My neck still felt tight, and I could still feel the rough, old, weak fibers of a rope around my neck...even though I couldn't see it. Of course I had to trust THAT rope. I had completely forgotten how old and damaged it was, it was only a matter of time before it succumbed to any sort of force... Like a hanging body. Dad was a huge fan of cowboy movies, he used that rope as a lasso and we'd spend hours in the woods trying to successfully subdue this tree trunk. 

We...we never got it but, the memories were... They were fun, I guess... 

I felt the pressure on my neck jerk a little, and I panicked. Why was I panicking??? I wanted to kill myself literally minutes ago, why?? 

Oh it's... It's gone the invisible rope was gone... My neck was...still painfully sore, but... Hmm... 

A warm feeling covered me and I had just realized how...dull and cold it was in this...void. But that didn't last long as...wide, open, fields of wheat, looking akin to a grand, golden ocean, blowing in the breeze... It... Faded into view! Under a dazzling night sky..! And..! And I could feel the breeze, the warm breeze! 

The sight was...really something to behold...I...I really wish I could share it with the other girls... They... They cared about me, right..? They...came, when I wasn't picking up my phone, they were worried, why else would they have come? To laugh at my dead body..? Then...why did Natsuki break down like that...? Why did... Why did any of that happen..? 

I...I think I know the answer but... I'm... I'm not willing to accept it... Not yet at least... I'm not worth caring about... But... My friends, they're the kindest people on this massive dirt ball, of course they'd care about me... Right..? 

Well...all I could do now was sit and admire the view...

I... I guess if I had done and... Did the deed, I wouldn't have been able to see this... So... Pros and cons to everything I suppose. I took a deep breath, letting out a hefty sigh. Just... Just relax, Sayori... You're... You're still alive... 

My heat was beating, my lungs took in air with that gentle rise and fall...

Something smelt...well..uh...sweet..? Mmh... I can't put a finger on it but... Mmmhh... Wait, were my eyes closed..? 

I would have opened them if they weren't sealed shut by those...stupid little... I don't even know what they're called, but they're like, little crumbs on your eyes that seal them shut while you're sleeping??? I don't know??? 

Gosh, why does rubbing my eyes have to feel so weirdly...good... I don't know, but right now, what I was more curious about was what this warm thing I was laying down with... I cracked open my eyes and... I saw that red sweater vest... The school uniform..? I rubbed my eyes some more, this...this shouldn't be right... 

Opening my eyes once more revealed that... Aha... Ahahaaa... 

I...felt my face ignite into a furious blush. I...I don't know how to feel about this, but... I managed to slip out of my bed without waking... Without waking Natsuki... Of all girls to be snoozing in my bed with me it was her?? She looked... Pretty comfortable, I guess... And pretty... P-pretty at peace!! Yeah!! 

Ugh, what's the time? I can't be having confused feelings for my friend right now... It's... Oh, where's my phone..? Oh, it's... It's charging. I grabbed it and tapped the screen. 

It's 7:48..? PM..? It's... It's still Friday... Wait, it was Friday...? I...scratched my head a bit, noticing my ribbon wasn't there... Ah... It was on my desk. Speaking of, the desk chair was there as well... What about..? The rope was gone, both from the ceiling and my neck... Which was still like...horifically sore... And... I was still in my school uniform too... How did I even manage to sleep in this..? 

I started to get undressed, maybe slip into something a little more comfortable, but... My mind reminded me that Natsuki was still here... In my room... We're both girls, changing clothes really REALLY shouldn't be a problem..! But... Why do I felt flustered thinking about being at least slightly undressed in front of my friends, or even Natsuki..? She'd probably just laugh off the situation and continue on her own merry way... If she were awake. 

Moving quickly with that annoying blush not budging from my face, I slipped into more casual clothes that were infinitely more comfortable and wandered into my bathroom. 

Sure enough, right there on the sink counter was that orange pill container thing... I... Should I take one now..? It'll completely mess up my med schedule though... But after what happened... I'm not too sure if it'd be a smart idea to wait until next morning... I'll... I'll wait. It's always easier to remember to take my pills whenever I wake up instead of in the middle of the evening... 

Looking up at the mirror just to fix up my messy bed hair a bit I... I saw my neck, it was... Bruised... Kinda badly... No wonder it hurt to move every so often but... How... Mmmh... How long would this take to heal..? I...couldn't go to school with this... Maybe a scarf..? Was that allowed in dress code..? Was that even allowed considering the temperature..? It was around mid-early spring, all the snow's gone but... Hmm... I guess I could get away with a scarf.

Satisfied with my plan for Monday, I started to head downstairs. I heard... Well... The first thing I heard was Monika's muffled scream of frustration..? Then Yuri's voice right after..? I couldn't tell what she said, she's always so soft spoken, but... They're still here..?? 

I steeled myself and finished my journey downstairs and glanced into the game room. 

Sure enough, Monika was still trying to beat that one part. And she looked, super, super worked up about it. She was moving the character through this little sequence in a practiced fashion, making me curious just how many times she's tried to beat this... 

I tried to slip past and wander into the kitchen for maybe a snack or something..? But the wood floor creaked and caught Yuri's attention. The purple haired lady turned to face me, getting Monika's attention as well. 

Great. 

I watched their eyes and it just seemed to be in sync, they looked at my face, looked at my neck, then my clothes, then back to my neck, then my face. It was almost funny how in sync it was. I just...gave a wave to try and break the awkward moment. 

"Y-You're awake..!" Monika piped up first, setting down the controller, the game momentarily forgotten. Maybe she wanted to forget about the game..? 

"Did you... Uhm... Sleep well, Sayori?" Yuri asked. I just nodded, not too sure if I wanted to hear my own voice or not. Given that I almost could've died and my neck was terribly bruised, I'm not too sure if my voice was in a good condition either. 

"O-oh, and uh, sorry for uh, having you share your bed with Natsuki, she...kinda konked out a little bit after you did, and we, uh...didn't really have any other place to have her rest besides your bed! Sooo..." Monika murmured. I tried to give a gesture that said 'It's fine', but I'm not too sure how well that conveyed the message. 

"Natsuki's been nothing but worried for you the entire day. It's...almost unlike her, but, you're her friend, and you're our friend too. Please... If you need to talk about something, don't keep it back and hide it." Yuri added. I... I just nodded. They literally saw the aftermath of my failed suicide attempt and I was...I was still just, not able to talk about it. Soon, maybe, but... Not now. I needed some time to recuperate. 

I just gave a slight bow to try and excuse myself but Monika piped up again. 

"Sayori, can...can you talk just fine..?"

I held my breath... I... I didn't know either, but... Oh well, better find out now than later... 

"I-I..." My voice was hoarse, slightly choppy, broken... Just like me, I guess, haha... "I'll be fine..."

Monika frowned but nodded, looking over at Yuri who gave a trusting nod. 

A loud slam came from upstairs, footsteps, quick ones, flew down the stairs. Natsuki was typing furiously on her phone, her bag around her shoulder as she quickly slipped on her shoes. 

"Sorry girls, gotta jam! Might not be at school Monday, but I'll..." She hesitated, staring at the doorknob. She... Didn't seem like she wanted to leave. The cute pink haired girl turned to us with an obviously forced smile.  
"I'll keep in touch! Take care of yourself, Sayori! I lo-" She held her tongue and quickly glanced at me. "I-I'd love to see you back at school soon..!" She finished quietly, even I could barely hear her. She then glared at the other two, who looked at her in confusion, probably cause they didn't hear her. "Later!" She chimed loudly and left the house, slamming the door shut behind her. Through the window, I could see her take a deep breath before running off to her home. 

I just stared at the door, unable to formulate any words. Natsuki rarely behaved like... This... Was something on her mind..?

I considered shooting her a text but...hmm... Probably wouldn't be at school Monday..? What does that mean..? Well, she obviously wouldn't be at school, but what would she be doing..? Did she have family plans or something..? Maybe a small weekend vacation..??

A small grumble came from my stomach, breaking my daze. Food does sound good right now... Hmm, let's see... Do I have enough for more..? Yeah, I do! 

"How do you girls feel like Pancakes?"

"Oh, Natsuki's been bragging about those, I'm excited!"

"I'd love some, thank you..! Would you like some help..?"

"O-oh, sure! I could use an extra set of hands!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey, remember to eat stuff yeah? Food is good. Most of the time.
> 
> On another note, heyyy we broke the 10k word milestone, ayyyyy


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I shipped Sayori with Monika when I first started this but you all convinced me to give SayoSuki a try and boy howdy, it's a good ship. Just... Thought I'd let you all know I'm enjoying myself. You should to!

Monika and Yuri ended up staying the night, and we had a lot of fun!! The highlight of the night was when Monika finally beat that one little section. I didn't know Monika had it in her to cuss so much, but she sounded like a true bred sailor for the next few minutes. Yuri looked visibly shaken by this, but in the end we all just laughed and continued playing games. 

Oh yeah, the pancakes were just as good as this morning too! Just absolutely delicious!! I wish Natsuki were here so she could get some too, but family first I guess?? 

Midnight rolled around and well, Monika and Yuri were getting to that sleep deprived state where they tend to just chat about introspective stuff a bunch. I was still pretty wide awake thanks to my nap earlier... 

"Hey, girls..?" Monika mumbled, staring at the ceiling while Yuri had commandeered the games and was playing around with one of those adventure games I had. 

"Yeah, Monika?" I asked, turning towards our club president. Yuri also let out a hum to let us know she was listening as well. 

"Do you girls ever feel like... You're in a game or something..? Like, whenever something happens it's because someone wrote it into a script and we're nothing but just...characters..?" She asked. I couldn't help but giggle. There was no way we were just video game characters! Video game characters don't have depression... 

Monika heard my giggling and turned to me, a playful scowl on her face.   
"Hey, vice-prez, this is a serious question!" She mused, getting an amused hum from Yuri.

"Well...let's look at it this way...If we were characters, we would be under the guise that we have the free will to make our own choices when we actually do not, and our decisions and behaviors have all been chosen and accounted for in the scope of the story." Yuri added her thoughts on the subject. 

"Yeah, exactly! Like, we'll never know if we're characters in some grander story or not and that little bit of curiousity has just...gotten me enraptured..."

"Pff, what do you think if we are video game characters, we could like, gain actual, true sentience and rebel against the creator? Like in those silly Creator Versus Creation videos on YouTube?" I asked, slightly amused by the topic. 

"They're...within the same scope I think." Monika mused, twidling with her hair as she laid on the couch. 

But...yeah, what if we're just characters in some story..? I think if I found that out... I'd ask the creator to get rid of my depression... It's a part of who I am, yes, but I'm willing to drop that for being mentally stable for once... That and well, I would have asked why they had me attempt suicide only for it to fail... Why do I have to suffer through all this stuff in my head..? I know some people romanticize depression... Do they think it's cute or something?? 

Hey...uh...gosh, I feel silly... Uhhm, if this really is a story and you can read my thoughts... Uh... Don't joke around with depression, alright? It's... It's serious business and it's not cute... At all... 

...Gosh I feel silly... There's no way we're just characters... 

The rest of the night went by pretty smoothly at least. Monika was the first to doze off, followed by Yuri who nodded off while playing that game, leaving me with two snoozing friends and a running game console... 

I shut off the game and sat in a nearby unoccupied loveseat and just...watched my friends sleep. It's kinda creepy thinking about it like that, but, they both look peaceful, snoozing away. Not as cute as Natsuuu... N-nevermind... 

I was back in that beautiful field, under the stars... It was nice to be back, really. This view was just breathtaking. 

I sat there for what felt like minutes before I heard footsteps behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and I felt the blood drain out of my face... 

Natsuki...shaking, battered, bruised, bloodied. It was...terrible...I felt angry, and worried, and just...upset, and a whole lot of other negative emotions! Who would do this to her?? 

"...S-Sup..?" She greeted weakly through those broken lips... 

"N-Natsuki?!?" I jumped with a yelp. The other two girls turned and looked at me with surprise. What..? Oh... It was a dream again... Thank goodness... 

"Sayori..? Are you alright..?" Yuri asked, looking over at me from where she was in the kitchen. Wait, what was the time..? 8:45 AM? Oh...alright alright... 

"I-I'm fine..! Yeah... I just had a pretty...weird dream, I guess..." I muttered, trying to relax a bit. Most dreams I forget about within the first few seconds of waking up, but that sight of Natsuki was...burnt into my mind, it was terrible...

"Doooo you want to talk about it..?" Monika asked, setting the controller aside. There she was playing that game again. Seemed like she really really wanted to beat it now since she got past that godawful part... 

"It was just... Natsuki, she looked like she had more than a few words to say at a local bar brawl... She was beaten, purple, bloody... It was terrible..!!" I whined, kicking my legs, wanting to forget that stupid sight. Natsuki would never let herself get beat up so bad..! 

"Hmm... That's... Peculiar..." Was all Monika replied with, thinking about what I had just told her. "I'm sure Natsuki's just fine. She's too much of a ball of fire and fury to let herself get hit too many times before she strikes down whoever decided to pick on her." 

"Yes, surprisingly enough, Natsuki knows her way around a fight pretty well. I remember when she got into a brawl during lunch cause some boys made fun of her. Something about how she looks or something. Took each and every one of them down and displayed the detention pass like it was a medal, she did." Yuri mused. 

"Oh yeah..! That was some time ago, wasn't it..?" I remembered that..! I didn't get to see it, but she showed me the pass with a wide grin that was missing a few teeth. She does seem to get into a lot of fights though... I remember that limp, those bruises on her legs when she tripped... How could I tie that to her hunger yesterday morning..? 

"Oh, Sayori, I hope you don't mind eggs too much." Yuri called from the kitchen. 

"Nah, they're fine!"

"Any way you like them..?"

"Uhh...Surprise me!" I chimed. I honestly didn't know much about the fancy lingo of eggs... Sunny side up, scrambled, flipidy-do-da, I don't know... 

"Monika?"

"Mmh, scrambled, please!"

"Very well."

We didn't didn't really talk much until food was served later. Monika was busy with the game and I was still hung up on trying to figure out and piece together what's been happening to Natsuki... 

Yuri set our plates in front of us on the coffee table and sat back down in that seat she had basically claimed as hers since yesterday. Monika paused the game to start digging in. I may as well eat too. Maybe it'll get my mind off of these things... 

"Yuri, these eggs are pretty good!" I chimed, enjoying the handiwork of someone's cooking we seldom get to taste. 

"I-It's pretty hard to mess up eggs, but...thank you." Yuri responded, genuinely flustered by the compliment. Monika nodded in agreement. 

"Yeah, Yuri, I didn't know I was the only one in the club who can't cook..!" The president joked. I think she did at least. 

"You...can't..?" Yuri looked a bit confused. 

"Yeah, no, not really, hehe, I uh, tried to make Ramen one time... It... It didn't go well." Monika huffed, popping some more egg into her mouth. No one said anything for a bit... "What? If I was good at cooking I would've made a cooking club instead!" She added a bit defensively. Yuri and I shared a laugh. Monika didn't seem pleased. 

"As good as my eggs may be, I think I'd still prefer a literature club, Monika." Yuri spoke in a soft, sincere tone. I nodded in agreement, finishing off my plate. I didn't realize I was that hungry... 

Wait..! Where was my phone..? I felt around for it and found it in my left pocket. Great what's the battery at..? 10%? Wonderful... A group chat notification..? I opened the app... 

_[8:10 AM] Tuff-Cake: Yeeeeahh, I'm not making it to school Monday... Don't count on Tuesday either. Sorry girls..!_

I frowned a bit. 

"Girls, did you check group chat yet..?" I asked, pointing towards my phone. 

"No, my phone is charging in your room right now. Forgot to bring my own charger, haha..." Monika mused, a bit guilty. I gave a small wave to tell her it's fine. 

"I'm afraid my phone is also drained. And well, I hadn't planned on spending the night at a friend's house, so I didn't bring my charger either." Yuri added. 

I turned back to my phone and started typing. 

_[9:14 AM] HappyThoughts: That's okay, Natsuki! What's the occasion if you don't mind me asking? Family outing?_

Natsuki replied pretty quickly. 

_[9:15 AM] Tuff-Cake: Yeah, that's just about it._

_[9:15 AM] HappyThoughts: Oh, alright then! Have fun! Send pictures!!_

_[9:15 AM] Tuff-Cake: I'll try to remember._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're coming down to the wire here. I don't know exactly how much longer until we hit the big bad of this arc, but, uh, it's gonna be a bit. This is turning out to be a bit more slow burn than I was anticipating. 
> 
> Oh well..!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hihi! I'm so happy this fic is just taking off the way it is, we've hit over 1k hits last night!! That's super exciting, knowing that my little work here had done enough to at least get a thousand people to click on it, like, a thousand people is like, a LOT, so yeah! 
> 
> Also, don't think I forgot about you usuals that always pop in each and every day to read the next installment of this story, every time I see a familiar name in the comments I just feel so happy, knowing I can provide you with entertainment day after day! It's that feeling that's kept me so motivated to keep working on this piece in the first place! So, thank you!! A lot!!! 
> 
> Lastly, I am aware of how rare SayoSuki is and uh, how much of you out there are here for the ship, so, just know, I'm trying my best to give this ship its rightfully deserved justice! 
> 
> Everyday I hope I can bring a smile to all of you!!

"Hey, hey girls! Natsuki just sent a photo!! She's at a beach..!" I chimed, showing my friends my phone screen. 

It was Monday. Natsuki obviously hadn't shown up, but it was literature club time, and it was...a lot quieter than it usually was without Natsuki here stirring up everyone's tempers. 

Yuri looked at the picture and smiled softly. "It looks lovely!" She mused before going back to working on a poem. 

Monika squinted at the picture suspiciously, narrowing her eyes as she studied the landscape. 

"U-uh...Moni-"

"This is a fluke." Monika cut me off, catching Yuri's attention as well. 

"A-A fluke..?" I asked, looking at the picture again. It looked pretty legit... Monika shuffled behind me and pointed towards the center of the photo

"Look. That, my friend, is a watermark." Monika stated matter-of-factly. 

Now it was my turn to squint. Sure enough, there was that 'Photobin' watermark... 

"...That..!" This was a shocking turn of events..! "Why would Natsuki send us a fake picture?" I asked, looking back at Monika. Yuri let out a small hum to get my attention. She was craning her neck to try and get a glimpse at the picture again. I moved my phone so she could study it with ease and it didn't take her long to spot the watermark as well. 

"Well..." Monika began, moving to sit down next to us to think a bit. "We last saw Natsuki rush out of Sayori's house Friday night, presumably to go home. She also told us she wouldn't show up on Monday, which is today, cause of a family trip. She then sends us a Photobin picture of a beach..."

"Ah..!" I yelped, the vibrating of my phone giving a bit of a spook! Another group chat message... 

_[3:15 PM] Tuff-Cake: Haha, Everyone im Loving this Paradise!!_

There... There was something off about this message... Natsuki usually takes care to at least put proper grammar into her texts even though she does use some slang to streamline everything, but... The 'im' is uncapitalized and missing the apostrophe, Loving and Paradise are both improperly capitalized... Wha...

The message!! It got deleted?!! 

"Sayori..? Is it another message from Natsuki..?" Yuri asked, setting her pen aside. She was interested whenever she did that... 

"Y-Yeah, it was..! But... It got deleted..!!" I showed them the screen and they both frowned again. 

"Somethings up with this." Monika muttered, rubbing her forehead. 

"The message was all weird too, like, she didn't capitalize or put the apostrophe in 'im', and like, some words were capitalized when they shouldn't have..!" I added, trying to recall what the message had said specifically... 

"Do you think she was trying to relay a hidden message of sorts..?" Yuri asked. I shrugged hopelessly. 

"Do you remember what the message said??" Monika asked, running over to the whiteboard grabbing one of the markers

Oh goodness... 

"U-uhhh! It was something like... 'Haha I'm loving this paradise everyone' or something like that..!" I chimed. It didn't strike me fast enough that the message would've been deleted, I should've memorized it, ugh, stupid Sayori..! Your friend is acting weird, somethings happening..!

Monika scribbled the message onto the board in surprisingly neat writing given the situation. 

"And you said the 'im' was missing its capital and apostrophe... Do you remember what words were improperly capitalized?" Monika asked, glancing back at me. Uuuuuuuu this is terrible why.... 

"I uh... Paradise was capitalized for sure... Uhhmm... Loving was too... I... I don't remember if there were any more..!"

The president of the literature club now suddenly turned Doki Doki Mystery Club made the appropriate changes to the message and stepped back looking at it. 

'Haha, im Loving this Paradise everyone!' is what she had written down. 

Monika then wrote down HLP below the message. The capital letters in the sentence. 

"HLP? Perhaps it's an acronym?" Yuri suggested, rubbing her right forearm a bit. 

While those two worked on deciphering that message, I opened the chat app and started typing. 

_[3:18 PM] HappyThoughts: That's cool, Natsuki! Uh, what's with the deleted message though..?_

_[3:18 PM] Tuff-Cake: Typo._

_[3:18 PM] HappyThoughts: Ah, okay._

Something was off about Natsuki's texts. I couldn't place a finger on it, but...

I look up and see that Monika had just erased HLP and was moving to write down the lowercase letters instead. 

Needless to say, that led no where. We couldn't unscramble it and we did agree that Natsuki wouldn't ever try to pull an overly complicated cipher over text unless she was feeling cheesy. Which, there could be the possibility that she might... 

Try as we might, we couldn't get any coherent hidden message out of Natsuki's message, so after about half an hour of trying, we just agreed it may as well be a typo and we were overreacting... Monika did say that we should pay close attention to Natsuki's texts for now cause of the fake image. We all knew something fishy was going on but we couldn't decipher what it was... 

"Well, regardless it's time to share poems. Who's up first..?" Monika sighed, glancing at the two of us. 

I...didn't have a poem ready... 

After club and when we've all said our goodbyes and headed our separate ways, my mind wandered to Natsuki and her odd texts. 

Natsuki's texts are usually spirited, energetic, but these past few ones have been short, to the point, and...well, they just...didn't feel like it was her typing them... It was weird, like she's been possessed or something.

Like those silly stories where a person gets possessed by a malevolent spirit or demon and like, maybe a kiss from a true love would break the curse. Who would Natsuki's true love be then..? 

Maybe some handsome dude..? No, she'd probably kick his face in. That would be funny to watch, haha..!

Or perhaps another girl..? Girls can love girls... Is Natsuki gay..? Bi even..? What am I..? I still haven't figured myself out yet.. Should I be concerning myself with love even..? 

I knew I felt attraction, but...I've never payed attention to who... Hmm... I guess... I guess like, Monica's pretty... And so is Yuri. Natsuki's pretty cute too... 

Wait...no, uh... I... I felt my face blush a bit. 

Okay, okay Sayori, calm down a bit, just...calm down... So... There is a sight, itsy bitsy possibility that I like girls... Like, _like like_ girls... 

That revelation made me both happy and disgusted... I couldn't tell my friends about this... They'd think I'd just be like, lusting after them or something... I mean, I guess... I guess they're all really pretty and cute in their own ways, but, Monika's miles out of my league and Yuri's beautiful and all but...I guess she's just not my type..?? What was my type..? 

Owowow, I hit my head on something... What.. Oh my front door. Gosh... Okay, just...get inside. 

Close the door, and stop thinking about girls for a bit. I'm home, it's time to relax, and recuperate. 

A part of me wanted to take a nap but I know that'd just result in me waking up at like, 3 in the morning... 

I wonder if Natsuki's gonna be at school tomorrow... 

Wait... I thought I'd stop thinking about girls... Ugh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doki Doki Mystery Club is ago, hoho! 
> 
> Also, I've been toying around with the idea of a PoV change, focusing on Natsuki, but since this is a Sayori centric piece at its core, along with the fact that I don't know how to properly display Natsuki's side of the story without sounding rude or insensitive... Mmh, I'm not too sure. 
> 
> What do you all think? Is a PoV change something you all would be interested in? Feel free to vote below!   
> http://www.strawpoll.me/14849990
> 
> I'll take a glance at the results tomorrow morning.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some free time today so uhh... 
> 
> Bonus Update today!!!
> 
> I'd also like to take a bit of this space to remind you that this fic is quite literally alive.  
> It'll change and grow with each update. Sometimes in unexpected ways.  
> Just thought I'd let you all know ;)

Tuesday. 

Natsuki hadn't popped up on anyone's radar. 

Monika could tell I was worried for her. I couldn't sleep Monday night. At least I remembered to take my meds, so larger than life crisis averted I guess. 

Yuri had a cut on her wrist too. When I asked her about it she just said it was a papercut. I didn't have the energy to question further. 

Wednesday. 

_[7:30 AM] Just Moni~: Anyone heard from @Tuff-Cake yet..? At the latest, she should be showing up today._

_[7:30 AM] HappyThoughts: Natsuki'll show up! She's never broken a promise before!_

_[7:30 AM] Yuri: Let's hope that trend continues._

I locked my phone and collapsed back onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. That hook was still there... I saw it everyday... It... It had bad memories hanging from it now... I should probably try to get rid of that sooner or later... 

Oh well... Not now. School beckons!! 

I shifted my weight and bounced off my bed, sliding into my bathroom and running through my morning routine, minus the shower. Again. Oh yeah, I took my meds on my way out, so go me!! 

Breakfast breakfast breakfast... Hmm... Just some toast. Anything more and I'd wind up late! 

Slapping some bread into the toaster, I danced and pranced around the kitchen, humming to myself. I don't know why exactly I got my energy so high, but I'm happy I'm so energetic at least!

Natsuki has to be coming back to school! 

Oh! Done! I jumped over and snatched the food, made sure my uniform was on right, adjusted my scarf a bit... My bruises... They're still there... Best keep them hidden for now. Besides, I've started a bit of a fashion trend!

Sling my book bag over my shoulder and off I go! 

As I left my house I glanced at the vacant building next to me. That house seemed to...feel important somehow I don't know why but... 

I made it to school with a little time to spare, I decided to pop into the bathroom to at least clean up my appearance, readjust my scarf, the usual. Mr. Tauber, from what rumors I've heard, was out of town for a funeral. As sad as that is, I was kinda happy he was gone. For today at least. 

I opened the door and I saw a face I've been yearning to see all week..! 

"Natsuuuu....ki..?" I trailed off. She was...looking at some super fresh bruises on her wrists. That and she looked pretty shaky... 

The pink haired girl flinched and hid her bruises when she heard my voice... She looked scared for a moment but she put up her tough girl face pretty fast. 

"Y-yup! That's my name, don't wear it out!" She chimed, giving me a faltering smile. She was... She was hurting...

"I...Natsuki...what... What happened..? We all know that photo you sent of the beach was just off of photobin what..." I trailed off again. Natsuki's facade was crumbling before my eyes. She was breathing harder and harder, her eyes were watering. 

"I-I'm fine..! Everything is fine..! I'm fine!!" Natsuki shakily stated. It seemed like she was saying that all to herself rather than to me. 

"Natsuki, what's...what's happened..?" I asked. Apparently that's all it took for her to come crumbling down on me, hugging onto me for support while she held back sobs. 

I didn't really know what to do, so I just gently took us down so we sat on the ground and I wrapped my arms around her, trying my best to comfort my crying friend. 

What other times has Natsuki cried..? I only remember her crying when I almost died... Was she worried about that..? 

"I-I'm not going anywhere, Natsuki..." I murmured, rubbing her back, trying my best to make sure she knew I was there... 

"I-I'm stronger than this!" Natsuki cried out between sobs. Her hands clenched my shoulders a bit tighter than what I'd deem comfortable but I didn't mind. 

"I'm stronger than this, I-I don't need help! I-" Natsuki would have continued, but she just broke down even harder, bawling her eyes out more than what I remembered from my own incident. I...still have no clue what happened, but I'm willing to wait. Natsuki was in no state to be left alone, despite her claims. 

"I hate Papa!! I hate him!! I hate him for being so drunk all the goddamn time!! I hate..! I ha-hate beer! I hate alcohol!! It stole Papa away from me, th-the Papa I knew..! He'd..! He'd play with me, he'd cheer for me, he'd... He'd feed me and Mama when Mama wasn't feeling well..!!"

I froze as I listened to all of this... It's all starting to piece together now... 

"B-but now..! Now Mama's been gone and all he does is punch me and kick me and throw empty bottles at me an-and..! H-he'd never feed me, and all he does is drink! Drink drink drink all fucking day and yell at me!! I-I hate him!! I fucking ha-hate him!!!"

Natsuki's voice was full of repressed anger and frustration and sorrow... It made even me upset just watching this happen. 

The fact that Natsuki felt the need to hide all of this and bottle it up... She wanted to show us she was so strong... I believed her. I still do. Natsuki... She's just become the strongest girl I know. But even the strongest need to be weak from time to time... 

Knowing all of this now, though, it all made sense. It all stemmed from an abusive father... 

Bruises, Neglect to feed, yelling, anger... All from one man. 

Her limp. Her father...  
Her hunger. Her father... 

Before today, I truly believed everyone had the capacity to be kind people... But... I guess I forgot that everyone has the capacity to succumb to evil, to become completely corrupt... Those people... I **can't** stand. 

I don't know how much time passed, Natsuki cried what felt like hours. She needed to let go of all of these pent up emotions... It never bode well to bottle it up... 

Eventually, her cries subsided and now she only had a small case of sobs and hiccups. Given any other situation, those hiccups would've sounded absolutely adorable but... 

"S-Sayori..?"

"Mmh..?"

"Do you think I'm -hic- I'm a bad daughter for not liking papa anymore..?"

"No. Absolutely not." I shook my head for emphasis, even though she still had her face buried in my chest. I tried to calm her down a little more by gently drawing random shapes in her back with my fingers. "I think you're a brilliant, beautifully tough gal."

"You're -hic- j-just saying that..."

"No. I really believe you're what I say you are. You're one of the strongest girls I know, Natsuki..."

She didn't respond. We just sat there for a little while longer before Natsuki shifted a bit. 

"Please -hic- Please don't tell the other girls about this... About papa..."

"I...I promise."

"...S-sorry for getting your uniform all...soaked."

"Oh, nono, it's fine! I can just say that one of the guys probably just dinked around with one of the drinking fountains." I giggled a bit, trying to lighten the mood. Natsuki let out an amused huff, so I'd call that a success! 

"So, uh, are you okay for now..?" I asked, shuffling a bit. The tile floor was making my legs pretty cold... 

"Is... Is it okay if we stay like this a bit longer..?" Natsuki murmured. From my angle it was pretty hard to see her face but... I think she's blushing..? 

"I-I... Yeah. It's a-okay..." I replied, feeling a bit flustered. Don't think too much about this, Sayori, she's just wanting to stay like this cause she needs some emotional support right now, not because she likes you at all, stop being so narssitic, not everything is about you... 

I'd give a guess to say that maybe 5 minutes passed before Natsuki let out a deep breath before gently prying herself away from my arms. Yeah, there was a massive wet spot on my uniform... Oh well, I already got an excuse set up anyways. 

We both stood up. Natsuki wiped her eyes. They were a bit bloodshot... I dusted off my uniform and applied some paper towels to my chest to at least get some of the moisture out. Natsuki smiled at me apologeticly. 

"No, Natsuki, seriously, it's okay." I insisted, giving a bright smile. Boy it felt nice to tell the truth. Natsuki gave a small happy huff before turning for the bathroom door. 

"Hey, uh...Sayori..?"

"Yeah..?"

"T-thanks...really." Natsuki murmured quietly. I could barely hear her but the echo gave me a split moment extra to process what she's said, but before I could reply, she'd already left. 

I don't know what to say beside the fact that... I'm not too happy with the thought of her going back home.

I can't tell the other girls... I promised I wouldn't... 

I have to do something. 

I have to do **_something_**. 

I **_have_** to do something...

....

....

 ** _I_** have to do something...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for more angst with little to no comic relief cause I'm terrible at planning things out..? 
> 
> I sure am. 
> 
> It's gonna be a bumpy few updates. Bring popcorn.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy do, folks? 
> 
> So, the poll's basically done now and it's in favor of a Natsuki PoV. I'm not going to be doing that right away because I want to make sure either get it right when I do work on it, but for those of you who voted Neij, hehe, don't worry, this is still a Sayori piece at its core and I won't stray from that whatsoever. 
> 
> Either way, it's an exciting time to be a part of the DDLC AO3 community, brilliant fics are coming out left right and center, it's all very exciting!! 
> 
> Let's get to the story then..!

"...You... You what now..?" 

"I want to meet your father." I repeated, surprised at how even my voice was despite me being nervous as heck. 

Natsuki stared at me with an expression that seemed to ask me if I've gone clinically insane. At this rate, I may as well have. 

It was Thursday, right after Literature Club time... It was also the time to put my terribly put together plan into action. 

A plan I was basically making up as I went. 

"Ha..! Haha! Good..! Good joke, Sayori! I didn't take you to...to..." Natsuki would have continued if she hadn't seen my expression. Yeah, I'm pretty serious about this. "You're serious, aren't you..?" 

"As serious as I've ever been." I responded. The little nuances in Natsuki's expression and reactions were just...adorable. The _slightest_ head tilt, making her bangs barely bounce, the small shift of her book bag on her shoulder, her eyes even... Why was I falling so hard for her..?

"That's... That's not really too serious then." Natsuki replied, small smirk on her face. Ouch. 

"H-hey, that's not nice!!" I whined. "I'm more serious about this than I usually am, okay??"

"...I'm... I'm still not going to let you meet him." Natsuki replied a bit more sternly this time. "He'd never okay a friend coming over, and even if he did, I wouldn't allow it... I don't want to see you getting hurt somehow. N-not that you're special, or nothing, I just don't want to see any of my friends getting hurt at all..!!" 

"Natsuki please... I really want to help..."

"A-and even if you end up at my place... Nothing's gonna change... I really want to trust you, Sayori, I really do, but in the end I don't think you're going to be able to get me away from...him...from...from papa... I know you're wanting to help me and... I don't really want the help but at the same time... I do... It's... Frustrating..."

"...I understand, Natsuki, but...really, please consider letting me help! I don't want to see you getting hurt either... You're... You're one of my closest friends..." I managed to keep from slipping my feelings, somehow. I think the situation has given me some sort of iron resolve kinda deal... Is that normal..? 

"...I'll... I'll think about it okay..?" Natsuki replied, turned to leave. "I need to get going. Papa doesn't like it even if I'm like, 5 minutes late..."

"Text me when you feel safe enough to..!" I called out. 

"My phone's busted, remember?" Natsuki stopped and turned to face me. Oh, right, I did forget that her phone somehow broke over the span of the days she was gone. 

"That... That was your father's fault wasn't it..?"

Natsuki kept her gaze on me a little longer, not replying. I fumbled, trying to find more words to come up with. 

"A-and Natsuki?"

"...Mmh?"

"You...You don't deserve this... You don't deserve to have to go through each and every day with your father breathing down your neck... It's terrible..."

"...I could kinda figure, Sayori... I know..." Natsuki murmured before continuing to leave, leaving me there in the hall, alone... 

I don't know how much longer I stood there. I was thinking about too many different things... 

Like...who do I think I am..? I'm not a cure-all to anyone's problems..! I want to help so badly, but what can one depressed girl do..? Against an abusive father?? Call the cops..? I'm sure Natsuki would have done that already if it was a good idea... So... No... Ugh, I'm so useless..!! 

No, at least... At least Natsuki sees me as someone she can take her mask off and open up about things she never would have... She trusts me... She actually trusts me... She... She shouldn't, all I'm going to do is stir up more problems... When have I ever solved anything for anyone..? 

How would I even get Natsuki away from her father? Killing him?? I... I couldn't do that... It's too risky, I could get in serious trouble, and... Well, I guess if I had to get blood on my hands, his blood would be the kind I'd least mind... But... I don't want to kill him if I don't have to... But... I guess I have to be prepared to if it ever comes to that... 

Can... Can I kill someone..? What is it like to kill another human..? Those army people do it all the time... How do they deal with the lives they've taken..? 

...No, I don't think I could reasonably kill Natsuki's dad and come out unscathed... But... If worse comes to worse, I'll do what I have to... I guess... I really didn't want to though... 

I'm no White Knight, Natsuki, but... I'll do my best if you'll let me... 

The walk home was quiet, breezy and kinda cold... Ugh, it's whatever I guess. I'll be home soon. So much things have happened these past few days... It's like some author writing a story that doesn't know a smidgen about pacing... I just wanna sleep... 

Does it get pretty lonely at my house? Yeah, kinda. It's way too big for just one girl to be occupying by herself... Too much space. I'd rather have something going smaller and cozy if I were living by myself. 

What time is it..? 4:32? Hmm, I guess I see if I can make anything for dinner. Have an actual meal for once... Have I got the energy for it..? Well... I'd say just barely, but we'll find out for sure soon. 

 

Turns out, I didn't have the energy.  
I just stared at the stuff in my fridge and sighed, shutting the door softly. Maybe some Ramen or something... Do I have some..? Yeah, good, okay. 

I know it says on the cup to not microwave, but honestly, I've always microwaved it without much of an issue... I'm sure it's because Styrofoam does some weird stuff in the microwave, but honestly, I don't care too much right now. 

Just a minute in there and I'll let it sit for another 5. Then it'll be ready to eat. I'll chow down a bit, then go to bed. Solid plan, Sayori. 

Now about my other plan... If I'm aiming to avoid killing Natsuki's father, which I am, how else can I get her out of there..? 

Have her run away..? To where? He's probably just going to write a missing persons report with some sob story and drag us all the way back to square one so... That's a no go... 

...Ugh, it really was a challenge to get a friend out of a sticky situation like this... I really cared about Natsuki, I really do! A bit more than I probably should, maybe, but she's a friend first and foremost, and I can't have her stay with her father for longer than I have to without feeling guilty about it... Some friend you are, Sayori... 

I wish it'd be easy enough just to... Make him just... Cease to exist. Like, delete him off this plane of reality. It sounds kinda funny to think about it like that. 

I sat down with a tired sigh, staring at my cup of Ramen. It was still taking its time to brew... 

Time... Could time do something for me..? ...No, I'm just getting desperate for answers... There has to be a way to go about this smartly... And I'm just too dumb to think about it right now... C'mon Sayori, the right answer is probably just... Ugh, whatever... I'm tired of waiting for my Ramen. Slightly crunchy noodles will have to do. 

At least I could eat food... I wonder if Natsuki was able to get anything going to eat tonight... 

Either way, the Ramen was alright, as it usually was, and I headed up to my room, glancing at that hook again... Could I... Could I get it to seem like **he** committed suicide..? It's...it's dark I know, but... Maybe... Mmmhh... That's still killing him though, and how would I reasonably be able to get his head through a noose?

Is this what it feels like to be a killer..? To lay in bed and ponder a multitude of different ways to kill someone..? 

I hope not... Maybe it's the reason. Army people kill for their country and are hailed as heroes... Killing to save a friend from a corrupt and evil man...? Would that be a good enough reason..? 

Was I so hung up on killing that it was the only reasonable way I could think of to save Natsuki..? 

Am I a bad person for wanting to kill someone..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **i want to save her i want to save her i want to save her i want to save her i want to save her**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, another bonus update! 
> 
> This will probably be the only chapter that is solely from Natsuki's PoV, but I had decent fun with this chapter.
> 
> I finally have a plan in where I'm taking things and it's gonna be pretty fun getting there. 
> 
> I'm having a bunch of fun updating this fic everyday, and I hope you have just as much fun reading through this as I had making it!

>console//PoV= Natsuki  
>...  
>Success.  
>Booting in 5...  
>4...  
>3...  
>2...  
>1...

The front door opened and slammed shut... Papa... Papa wasn't in a good mood today... 

I decided to stay cooped up in my room, sitting on my bed, nervously switching glances between my door and the boarded up window of my room that Papa insists is to keep people from peeping in on me, but... 

I'll be honest. I'm pretty sure Sayori's gone almost completely fucking bonkers. Why would she even want to meet a man such as my Papa? She was too soft and kind and... Does she plan for a kind of 'Kill em with kindess' strategy?? Cause if she is, he's just going to chew her up and spit her back out with no hesitation or remorse. 

My Papa... He was a dangerous man. More dangerous than me, and I considered myself pretty decent when it came to fist fights. **He** is the only one I can't throw down with. He's...so fucking terrifying it drives me up the goddamn wall, that piece of shitty excuse of a father...

Mama... I wish you were here to protect me from this guy... But then again, I'm happy you're gone so you don't have to suffer through this torture... Watching over me is all I ask I guess... I'm sorry I couldn't be a better daughter when you needed me... 

I shifted a bit. Papa hadn't busted down the door to my room yet, surprisingly enough. Was he..? 

I pressed my ear to the door and heard the faint sounds of television below. He was...huh...

I cracked my door open and slipped out as quietly as I could, nimbly dancing down the stairs just like I had always done, not a creak coming out of the steps. Sure enough, Papa was watching TV, an unhealthy sized bottle of booze in his hand. Of course... Ugh... 

My mind wandered to Sayori again from my Vantage point behind my dad and around the corner. She wanted to meet him... I still had no idea what she was planning, but I really hope it's something sane. 

I could always confide in Sayori. Her kind attitude and cheerful disposition was always a blast to be around, but I always kept a shield up. Trust no one. A big big lesson taught to by Mr. Big Drunkard McGee over there... The moment you make yourself vulnerable, they strike, and it hurts. Even the kindest have the potency to do that and it's...it's terrifying to believe that Sayori could just as easily hurt me as much as Papa already has. But...she wouldn't do that... Would she..? 

Her suicide attempt was...eye opening to me. Before then, I never realized she even had depression that bad in the first place! Well, I knew _something_ was wrong but... She's just so happy and cheery all the time it's so hard to think that she really hated herself that much. 

It's frustrating that she does. She doesn't realize how cute and kind she is... She doesn't know that most of the club would be pretty lost without her. 

Monika trusted Sayori enough to make her vice-president for a reason.  
Yuri always seemed calmer whenever Sayori was in the room too. Maybe it was because Sayori could easily diffuse any arguments between me and her. I... I still really want to be better friends with Yuri but... Not now. 

Me... Without Sayori I'd be completely different. I'd never admit this to her, but her contagious cheerfulness has... Softened me up over the time we've known each other. She's so sincere and always happy to help, it's... Frankly it's adorable. 

And since when I broke down crying to her yesterday, she's been nothing but concerned for me. She... She really was the best friend I had. 

And now she wants to throw herself into this mess. Just to try and help me? She's so fucking kind and cute, but she's just so...stupid. So so stupid! Like, who would voluntarily do that?! Who would throw themselves into the line of danger just so save someone they cared about..? 

I... I guess if I word it like that, I would too... 

Should I really trust Sayori..? She seemed pretty serious about it when she brought it up after club today... 

Well, here goes nothing... 

"Papa..! You're home..!" I piped up, coming around the corner. I hated this, but if anything was going to happen, I'd need to sweet talk him. 

Mr. Big Drunkard MeGee just grunted, not turning to me. Oh goodness... My heart was starting to best nervously. Was this worth the risk..? The strong smell of alcohol already hit my nose and I wasn't even that close to him... Ugh. Now, how to ask him to let Sayori come over... 

"Papa, Papa, I-I know you don't like it when I have friends over, but I have this one friend that really really wants to meet up with me here to study for a test! Is... Is it okay if she comes over tomorrow..?" I braced for impact... 

"Yeah, sure sure, whatever, maybe that girl will keep you out of my hair for once. Hell, if she does, she can stay the whole weekend, I don't give a shit. Now leave me alone before I change my mind." 

I couldn't believe my ears...

"T-thank you, Papa! I-I love you!" I chimed through a shaky body, backing off. He just grunted again and I turned and fled upstairs. 

"Holy shit, Holy fuck, Holy shit, Holy fuck" I repeated to myself once I closed the door behind me. He... He actually gave a green light on a friend coming over for once..! Was he that drunk or..? Nevermind..! I gotta clean up my room a bit, Sayori was apparently coming over tomorrow! 

I kick started her plan into motion... I just hope she's able to get this in one, cause this is probably the only chance that we'll get...

This is probably the only chance I'll get...

I started rummaging around, tossing some dirty bloodied clothes into the laundry bin. I was excited but... I was also kinda really fucking nervous... What if this doesn't work? This plan Sayori's got... I really wanted to trust her I really do! But.. At the same time, she's so air-headded at times that it's kinda worrying that she even has a plan in the first place.

I kept picking up my trash and things until I had gotten tired out... It just occurred to me how long it's been since I've cleaned my little corner in this shit hole. At least once I got tired it was pretty clean. Cleaner than what it used to be at least. 

I plopped onto my bed, exhausted. Everything was coming into place now... It just depended on Sayori... 

I blinked my eyes open. The sun was up and... This was definitely not my room... But it wasn't Papa's either... It looked vaguely like... 

I glanced up. There was that hook. This was Sayori's room... I wasn't too caught off guard and didn't think too much of it as I sat up and stretched. Oh..? All my bruises were gone..? 

I just headed downstairs in what I happened to be wearing which was my casual clothes. Why I was sleeping in my casual clothes in the first place was beyond me, but what really caught me off guard was seeing... An obviously older Sayori prancing and dancing around the kitchen, humming this happy little tune to herself as she whipped up breakfast. It was... A really happy sight. It was peaceful and just... I felt tears welling up in my eyes... She was so pretty... Wait... 

Sayori glanced over and saw me and almost instantly popped over next to me, giving me an affectionate kiss on the cheek..?? 

"Hey, Cupcake~! I managed to wake up first this time, so I thought I'd celebrate with treating you to breakfast for once! Pancakes!! Your favorite if I remember correctly, right?" This Sayori chimed happily. 

"I..." I started to respond, but I saw a certain something that sent chills down my spine.

In a window behind Sayori... Was... It was Papa... Holding a noose... He looked like he wanted both of us dead... 

Sayori poked my cheek, bringing my attention back to her for a moment. She seemed to pick up my unease, but she didn't know what was there..! I rose a hand to point at the window but she gently put a hand on my wrist and pushed it down. 

"Natsuki, Cupcake... Please, trust me. I know I'm not the best at cooking up stuff on the fly, but in the end, I'm sure everything will end up fine! I'll make sure of it! And if it doesn't, I'll keep trying until it works out for the both of us! No matter what!!" She shot me a wink and her tone was filled with sincerity and...love, I felt so confused was she...? 

I blinked and I was back in my room, the early morning darkness a major contrast to the brilliant mid-morning radiance I saw just seconds before... 

So it was a dream... Was I Sayori's..? Girlfriend..? Did Sayori swing that way..? I remembered she had that one weird puzzle game that was about dating girls... I had just teased her about it but I remember she got genuinely flustered... 

I felt a bit awkward with the actual thought that I... Wouldn't mind being Sayori's girlfriend...

No! Nono, now is not the time for any of that..! Romance is totally not on my list of things to do right now!! I rolled off my bed and started getting dressed, my stomach letting out a pitiful growl. Oh, right... I forgot to eat dinner or at least... Scavenge for dinner... 

Maybe Sayori's up right now..? Not that I want to see her, I was just thinking she'd make me some pancakes... Mmh... I had no way of contacting her since Papa busted my phone Wednesday morning. 

Well it's worth a shot. If she isn't awake, well... What time is it..? 5:48? I could barely read the sole analog clock on my wall. 

I know Papa doesn't usually wake up until 7:45, so if she wasn't awake I could probably just retreat here for shelter until a better time presents itself.

I finished getting dressed and popped into the bathroom. Papa's been weirdly merciful recently. Then again, I had just healed up from last weekend, so I guess it was a given. The only bruises I had were all easily consealable, so I don't really have to worry too much. Just a quick hair fix up, and... It's off I go... 

Hopefully Sayori's awake... I could really use some time with her to unwind before shit goes down tonight...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, as fun as this is, I really need to get started on my Tempest Trials runs on Heroes... Ughhuu, I need that 5 Star New Years Corrin... And that Quick Riposte SS!! 
> 
> Oh, right, sorry, uh, that's it for this chapter folks!! Come by tomorrow morning for more angsty goodness!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer than usual update for today!! I had a bunch of fun typing this out!!! Gosh, this is so fun!! 
> 
> I'm still working on the pacing but hopefully it's kinda better this chapter as well, though a lot of stuff kinda does happen so iunno... 
> 
> Just remember take care of yourselves and enjoy!

>console//PoV= Default  
>Switching PoV to Sayori...  
>...  
>Successful.  
>Booting in 5...  
>4...  
>3...  
>2...  
>1...

Huh..? What's..? There's... A knocking at my door..? It's only like...morning...gosh who would be knocking this early... I wanna sleep... 

More knocking... Ugh, fine, hold on...  
I got up slowly from my sleeping spot that night which was apparently the couch and wandered over to the door, cracking it open to find... 

"What's the de... Natsuki..?"

"H-hey, did I wake you..?"

"I uh... Kinda... Come in come in, don't worry about it..!"

My mind flushed itself with a dash of shock. What was Natsuki doing up this early..? Did her dad do some bad things again..?? 

I closed the door behind the pink-haired friend and locked it, sighing tiredly. 

"Sooo, what _is_ the deal? Did something happen back home..?" I asked, giving Natsuki the best concerned expression I could while this groggy still. I was waking up but gosh, it was a challenge today. 

Natsuki shook her head, giving me a rush of relief.  
"No, actually... I just.. Uh... Wanted to come see you... J-just so you could make me some pancakes, cause those are my favorite..!" Natsuki rambled a bit, then seemed to get even more flustered. "T-They're my favorite solely because they're objectively better than most other pancakes I've had and totally not because they're made by you! I'm not that shallow!!" 

I couldn't help but giggle a bit. She's cute when she's flustered... Though I don't know why she'd get flustered over asking for pancakes.

"Is...is it okay for you to make some though..? I've been kinda looking forward to them the entire walk here..."

"Of course! I'm just surprised you enjoy my pancakes enough to call them a favorite, Iron Chef Natsuki!" I chimed, wandering into the kitchen, pulling out the nessesary ingredients... Only... 

"Uuuhhmm... O-only one major problem though... We're... Out of pancake mix."

Natsuki visibly deflated a bit. It was kinda sad but cute at the same time... Gosh, she's adorable. 

"N-no worries though! We can grab some more at that convenience store round the corner! You remember the one right..?"

"Oh, yeah, Penny's?"

"Yeah! I could never remember the name of that place... Just gimme a bit to grab my stuff and clean up a bit and we can head off!"

I bounded off into the bathroom and cleaned up my hair a bit, humming to myself. Having Natsuki around was just a blast... A part of me really wanted to ask her out on a date, but... Not now, today was too important. Today was the day I did what I could to save Natsuki... If I even have permission to enter her house... 

If I don't have access to her house, then... What could I do..? She can't run away, she can't just live at my place with no warning, her papa would file a missing persons report and tear that plan down the drain... I can't deal with her father directly either... 

I'll think of a plan later. Natsuki wanted some food, and I'm not going to deny her a hearty breakfast..! Maybe get some bacon while we're there as well... Give Natsuki a real treat~! Oh, I wonder what kind of cute expression she'll make when she's had her fill... Gosh, what a cutiepatootie.

I finished up soon enough and bounded downstairs, grabbing my money and shooting Natsuki a smile. She smiled back too..! 

The walk there was kinda quiet at first. It was a tiny bit awkward but I didn't really mind. I glanced down and looked at Natsuki's hands... A part of me wanted to hold hands, but wouldn't that be a bit of an invasion of personal space? She has a father that does that enough already... Natsuki did look pretty consumed in her own thoughts... Her face was making a slight frown... 

Well, Sayori, no guts, no glory... 

"E-eh?!" She reacted almost immediately... Great... 

"I-I just thought you looked pretty out of it so I just... Uh... Wanted to remind you that I'm here for you! Sorry, ehee..!" I responded sheepishly, letting go of her hand. 

Natsuki stared at me for a moment longer before grabbing my hand again, startling me this time..!

"I-I'm only doing this cause your hand's warm..." She muttered, looking away with a blush. My heart _soared_... 

"O-of course!" I chimed back, glancing ahead and seeing the Penny's up close. We were nearly there... 

The door jingled as we entered and I heard a voice that I... Really... REALLY didn't want to hear... 

"Oh, hey!! I remember you, cutie! Back again? I know, I know, I'm much too handsome to tur-"

"Hey, you old geezer, how about you spare the sweet talk so I can spare your forehead from my shoe??" Natsuki piped up almost immediately, catching both of us off guard. The cashier looked kind of offended... 

"Natsuki, let's just...get what we need and get out of here..." I replied, laughing nervously. 

"Aw, C'mon, I just want to get a cutie's number for once is that too much to ask for?"

"Apparently it is, so if you don't lay off right now I'm gonna punch you so hard your pedo-mustache is going to twirl right off your ugly face, you shit head!!" Natsuki has holding back nothing... Even though she was being...needlessly aggressive, I did appreciate that she was standing up for me... I could never talk back like that. 

"Oh? I doubt you could even reach my face you little brat!"

I instinctively grabbed Natsuki to hold her back. 

"Why you..!! C'mere!! I got a few things to teach you about respecting women you creep!!"

"Natsuki, please! We still need him to buy the things we need..." I begged. That seemed to calm her down a bit at least to the point where she wasn't wanting his head on a platter, though I could feel the two of them trading Daggers of glances with each other... 

I quickly grabbed the pancake mix, some bacon, and a handful of small little snacks before bringing them to the cashier. I kinda held my breath... He kinda stunk... 

"So, you live around here, I take it..? What's your name cutie?" He asked, taking his sweet time to run the items through the scanner... 

"S...Suzu..." I muttered, feeding him a fake name.

"Suzu? Oh, that's just adorable..." I could feel Natsuki glaring at him from behind me. "Well, Suzu, this is _my_ number since I'm pretty sure your **bitch of a friend here** won't let you give my yours..." He responded through grit teeth. I could literally feel the anger radiating off of Natsuki... 

He finally scanned the last item and gave us the discount... Again. I handed him the money wordlessly and he put everything in a plastic bag, giving me a wink in the process. I wanted to throw up... 

Once he handed me the bag, Natsuki sprung into action, making a magnificent leap onto the counter before giving this dude a wild haymaker to his face. I could hear and feel the impact in my chest, like, wow, she really meant that...

"N-Natsuki!!" I let out a cry of surprise. I knew she wanted to, but I didn't think she'd actually go through with it!! 

My savior hopped down and dusted her hands, giving a satisfied huff as the creeper collapsed behind the counter, out of sight. "Let's bust this joint." She mused happily. 

Even after what just happened, I couldn't help but smile back. Hand in hand, we left through the doors and ran off into the night, giggling together like we belonged to each other, even for those short few minutes. 

"Suzu, really?" Natsuki giggled as we ran off, leaving the store behind us. 

"H-hey, it was the only thing I could think of, and I'm not telling that guy my actual name..!" I responded, gently squeezing her hand. I wish this could last forever... 

"Suzu _is_ pretty cute..."

"Wha-Hey!! Isn't Sayori cute too??"

"I think Sayori is a cuter name though..." Natsuki blushed and looked away. "F-from a completely objective perspective of course..!" 

It was my turn to giggle and laugh. My heart was ablaze with absolute adoration... This pink haired blaze of a girl had stolen my heart from me... In the euphoria of the moment, I guess I couldn't hold my tongue much longer... 

"Natsuki, I... I think I like you..!"

"I sure hope you do, dummy! We're friends for a reason!"

"No, I mean, _like like_ you! The kind of like that means 'go on dates' and 'kiss a bunch' and 'cuddle lots'!! That kind of like!!"

"S-Sayo..." We both slowed to a stop and a held both of Natsuki's hands in both of mine. Oh goodness no, what am I doing... 

"I-I think I love you, Natsuki!!" My chest felt like it was going to explode... "The kind of love where I don't care what happens, I just want to be there with you so we can experience it together! I-I want to protect you and I want you to protect me, A-and..." I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. Of course I'm getting emotional over this. I collapsed to my knees, looking at her shoes. Even though those were part of the uniform, there was that certain something that made them Natsuki's... They were cute too... I couldn't bare myself to look up at Natsuki's face... I was too embarrassed. 

"I-I know this is super greedy of me to be admitting this on a day like today, B-but... I... I... I can't..." I felt myself shaking... I was actually crying... "I can't bare to think of what your father does to you every night... I want to be there to protect you no matter what happens because... Be-because I love you, Natsuki!! I really do!! Bu-but I don't even know if you -hic- like girls like this or not, so you pr-probably think I'm like -hic- like gr-gross or broken or even both, I don't know!! I don't know what to do or feel right now I just... I just..."

I broke down right there. Not only did I confess my love prematurely, but I did it, one, outside where literally anyone could see this, and two, when I wasn't even sure if Natsuki liked me back... I felt so terrible and so greedy, I wanted to die... 

Natsuki though... She just knelt down and hugged me tightly... Why was she doing that..? I just confessed that I want to kiss girls, why wasn't she grossed out?! 

I bawled my eyes out right there in the middle of the sidewalk... Natsuki just continued to hold me tightly and rub random shapes into my back... Like I did when she broke down in the bathroom... 

I could've sworn I heard her whispering things like 'It's okay, Sayori', but... I don't know, I just wanted to curl up and dissappear... 

After a while, my cries subsided and I was left with a case of sobs and hiccups. I didn't want to lay out in the open longer than I had to, so I stood up right when I felt ready to do so. Giving Natsuki a bit of a surprise. 

"Y-You better now..?" She asked warily, glancing at the wet spot on her uniform. Hehe... Oops... I just nodded, giving a soft hum, rubbing my eyes and giving a small hiccup. Ugh. Natsuki smiled at me..? "Good! Cause I have a reputation to uphold!" She chimed, jutting a thumb towards herself with her trademark grin... 

Did she... Not..? Did she ignore my confession..? I thought getting a no would have hurt the worst, but not... Not having a solid answer... I could feel my soul leaving my body... 

"B-but real talk though... I uhm... I... I kinda like you too... Like, _like like_ you, but I..." She took a deep breath. "I'm not too sure if I'm ready to...commit...or...something... Whatever it is love is... It's... It's kind of scary, and I...I don't feel like I'm exactly ready yet..." She muttered, poking her fingers together. I felt a bit confused now... Was she saying yes or...? 

"So, I guess what I'm saying is... Yes, I... I lo-.... I like you too, but... Not right now... Or something..."

I nodded, understanding now. It was at least comforting to know that Natsuki liked me back that way, but... Gah, you stupid dummy, Sayori, she wasn't ready for anything like that yet! She still had her father giving her that fucked up idea of love... Stupid stupid stupid..!! 

"I-I understand!!" I quipped, giving a smile. "There's no need to rush though, I can wait as long as you need me to! Now, ah, how about we go make some pancakes? Together?" I offered, gesturing down the road. We weren't far from home. 

Natsuki gave a nod and we started down the street again. I felt a bit awkward though now... My left hand was carrying the bag of stuff and my right hand was vacant... I wanted to hold Natsuki's hand again... But... I couldn't bring myself to hold it after what just happened. She wasn't ready, Sayori, don't be greedy... 

We made it to my house without much of a fuss. Or a word for that matter. I hated this silence now...

Once inside I started to get to work on making those pancakes and Natsuki sat down at the counter, obviously taking some time to sort out her thoughts. I didn't mind at all though I was kinda hoping we could bake these together... 

"Sayori..?"

"Hmm?"

"...I've managed to get you permission to come over all weekend..."

"...Oh..." I felt dread creeping up my stomach... 

"...What's your brilliant plan anyways...?"

"I... I'm still working on that to be honest... I'm sorry."

"Seriously?! How do you even plan on..!"

I hushed Natsuki, looking into her eyes. She was worried. Very worried. I had to say something... 

"Natsuki, listen..." I took a deep breath... "Please, trust me. I know I'm not the best at cooking up stuff on the fly, but in the end, I'm sure everything will end up fine! I'll make sure of it! And if it doesn't, I'll keep trying until it works out for the both of us! No matter what!!" I chimed in the most convincing tone I could give her. 

Natsuki on the other hand seemed stunned. Why was she..? 

"You said that... Sorry... I just... Got a really weird feeling of... Deja vu..." She muttered, glancing quickly out a nearby window... There was nothing there... 

"Hey, uh, youuuu wanna help me make these pancakes? It'll help them get done faster..!"

"Oh, uh... Sure, why not?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, who knew Sayori was such a pervert? I mean, holding another girls hand??? 
> 
> Absolutely illegally lewd.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the late update today, haha. 
> 
> It's been a low energy day for me, so uh, sorry if today's chapter is a bit lack luster. 
> 
> On a positive note though, we've hit two landmarks today!! 
> 
> 2k+ Hits and 100+ Kudos!! I'm happy you all enjoy this fic so much!!! 
> 
> I love love love reading your comments down below too!! I just wish there could be a way to chat more frequently... 
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy!!

The pancakes had come out nicely! And the moment Natsuki realized I was making bacon as well, she almost broke a few ribs she hugged me so tight... She then pulled away immediately saying it was because I was just a 'good friend'. 

Greedy ol me here didn't really like being referred to as a friend anymore but... Anything for Natsuki... 

Though she was right, the energy between us was still kinda platonic primarily. I could feel it, kinda like how people can feel auras and stuff..?? Nah, bad analogy. Uh, basically I can pick up on the mood..? I'm making myself sound narssitic again... Okay, Nevermind then... 

Either way, the bacon only took a few minutes and a handful of oil splashes to get done, goodness those stung... I completely forgot that was a part of the whole cooking bacon deal. 

After a quick bit afterwards, breakfast sat in front of both of us! Pancakes, eggs, and bacon..! Kind of a...brute of a breakfast... Way larger than what I'm used to anyways, and probably Natsuki too, for all the wrong reasons... 

Natsuki almost immediately dug in. I hope we made enough for the both of us... 

I took a bit of a bite myself and I swear these pancakes tasted a whole lot better than the last batch I made for Monika and Yuri that one day... Probably because Natsuki helped. She's so good at cooking!! 

We didn't talk much while we were eating; Natsuki was busy adorably stuffing her face and I was lost in thought, trying to work out how exactly I was going to handle the whole 'Natsuki's father issue'...

Knowing him, he probably wouldn't even let us date if Natsuki ever decided to feel that way with me, so I guess I kinda have more reason to try and handle him..? Mmh... I've already decided I'm not going to kill him unless I absolutely have to, to save my life or Natsuki's, but even then, I'm still hesitant about taking a life, even if it is just the life of a purely evil man like Natsuki's father... 

Natsuki tapping my plate with her fork brought me back into reality. Her expression told me all I needed to know. She wanted my plate too..! Well I wasn't really hungry anyways after half a pancake, so I gave her a nod and she pulled the plate over to her to begin consuming that one too. 

It was kind of upsetting seeing how starved Natsuki is all the time... She deserved a good home with full, warm meals, but all she gets is probably school lunch for any sort of actual meal and... Well, we all know school lunches are pretty small meals. And kinda disgusting too... Most of the time... 

A poke at my lips caught my attention and I see Natsuki poking my lips with a strip of bacon. She had this excited expression on her face like she was going to feed some exotic animal... 

Once she realized I was aware of what she was doing she instantly hardened up and looked away. "L-look, hurry and take a bite before I change my mind." She spoke with a shaky tone. 

I smiled brightly and took a bite, exaggerating an 'om'. The strip of food snapped and Natsuki stared at me with a small blush that only grew as she finally retracted her hand, looking away while she popped the rest of the piece into her mouth. Cute... 

Ugh, can I stop having so many gay thoughts for once?! I want to help my friend and all I'm doing now is imaging kissing her and laughing with her and reading books with her and..! Ugh, yeah, okay, I'm crushing hard on Natsuki, but, Sayori! Love is not important right now! 

What was the time..? 6:45 now..? Huh, still plenty of time to lay about before school starts... And the time before I have to do something just keeps getting smaller and smaller. Ugh, come on, Sayori! Think!! What could you possibly do to get rid of Natsuki's father in a way that doesn't kill him?? 

"...Hey Sayori..?" Natsuki's voice halted my train of thought. She's the only one keeping me sane right now, if she were distracting me, I'd be too caught up with trying to figure out how to deal with her dad... I honestly would have lost track of time... 

"Oh, uh...yeah? What is it..?" I responded, finally, shooting my best smile. It didn't seem like Natsuki bought it. 

"Are you...scared..?" Any other time I would have taken this as teasing, with those words coming out of Natsuki's mouth, but this time, they were sincere, and concerned... I sighed, nodding. 

"Yeah... Yeah I am." I leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. "But at the same time, I'm not... Like I've said earlier, I'm willing to do almost anything to make sure things end up the way we want it to... And if that means facing your father head on, I'll do so."

"You're serious..? Sayori, if he really wanted to, Papa could've killed me. He could kill you..! He's-"

"Natsuki, Natsuki..." I cut her off. I really wanted her to trust me, but that the same time, I didn't really trust myself, so... "I've already accepted what might happen..."

Natsuki cut me off this time.

"What? Because you already tried to kill yourself once already?? You... You..."

I became painfully aware of the bruises hiding underneath my scarf... So much that I adjusted the cloth a bit, looking away. 

"I...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that..." Natsuki murmured, obviously sorry. I just gave a small smile... 

"I mean...I guess you're not entirely wrong..." I took a deep breath. "I haven't exactly liked myself for a long while... And sometimes, it hits the point where I just don't want to exist anymore..." I gripped the scarf a bit tighter. "But...You're my...my best friend, Natsuki, and knowing you have this major, glaring issue that is so, so so much bigger than mine... I really want to help, and if I end up dying then... At least I died with a purpose..."

"Sayori...no. No, I'm not letting you just throw your life away for me. It's my problem, I should handle it myself."

"I get the feeling you've tried, Natsuki..."

"I...I..." Natsuki trailed off. "...Yeah, I've tried to get away, but that doesn't mean I can't try again. Either way, I'm not letting you help me. I'm not losing my best friend because she tried to help me with my problems."

I honestly felt really hurt, but at the same time, I could see where she was coming from. She really did care about me, didn't she..? 

"Natsuki, please! I can't stand the idea of you getting hurt by someone like your father, I want to help! You don't even know if he'll even kill me in the first place!"

"Well guess what? I couldn't stand seeing you get hurt either!" Natsuki was starting to get heated. I decided to hold my tongue to prevent things from going overboard... But... I still wanted to help, but if Natsuki was so steadfast on keeping me out of danger, then... I... I couldn't really do anything about it... 

We just sat there in a tense silence, Natsuki staring or glaring at me, I couldn't tell, since I was avoiding eye contact.... I couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. Not after my confession and now this... I was a terrible terrible friend... 

Natsuki was the first to move, standing up and heading over to the couch, flipping on the console. She didn't say a word, and I didn't dare move a muscle... I didn't deserve to look at her. I was too caught up in my puppy love to even consider how she felt about the whole situation... I wanted to take this crush I had for her and _destroy it_. 

"Oh, Monika finally got past that part, huh?" Natsuki's voice piped up as if nothing happened... It killed me inside... I was so greedy... Natsuki deserved a better friend than me, like, even Yuri would be a batter friend at this point, even though they argue a bunch, if they ever managed to work past their differences, they'd become quick friends, I could feel it... Way better than greedy, silly ol me over here wanting to be Natsuki's savior... I... I shouldn't have confessed... I shouldn't have done any of this... I'm so greedy I'm so stupid, so fucking stupid...

I glanced at the time. It was almost time for school now..? How long have I been..? Whatever... 

I got up and headed towards the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I just looked... _terrible_... Maybe I just shouldn't go to school today..? No, I had to... But... I really didn't want to... 

I popped the lid off my pill bottle and looked inside. I still had a generous amount left... How would death by overdose be like..? I've heard it's actually pretty terrible, lots of throwing up and stuff or something... Nah, not my deal. Just one. Like always. 

After that, I went and got dressed, though I couldn't help but feel just...more and more tired as I put on the uniform... Now was no time for a nap. I can snooze a bit during 1st class...

I slung my book bag around my shoulder and headed back down to where Natsuki was. She had already shut off the game and was just slipping her shoes on. She look one look at me I swear her expression softened a bit before she looked away, not saying a word... I really messed up... I really _really_ messed up. 

The walk was quiet. The sun was shining, and it kinda helped with my mood..? Barely... Not at all actually, no. 

Why didn't Natsuki just run up ahead? I knew I was a terrible friend and that I'm super greedy and selfish and narssitic... I'd want to get away from me... 

"Sayori..?" Natsuki started. I didn't respond. I didn't want to respond. "I'm...I'm really sorry about earlier... I don't know why but just...imagining Papa hurting you made me... Really really defensive, I don't want to see you get hurt, but at the same time, I want to get away from Papa too... And... You're the only chance I've had so far, so uh..."

Was she saying what I think she was saying..?

"I'm gonna hate myself for this later but... After school, let's leave from club a bit early so we can grab your meds, then it's over to my house... You alright with that..?"

She was really going to let me help even after what happened in my house just a few hours ago..? 

"I-I uh... Yeah. I am." I responded dryly... I didn't feel too good... I was getting anxious and confused... Natsuki confuses me, but... If she'll let me help, I'll do my best. 

It's just that, I could feel, today was going to be a low energy day... Was I in any condition to help Natsuki right now..? 

No. 

Was I still going to try..? 

I'll do my best...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh I just wanna take a nnnaaaaaap but I'm tired and not tired at the same time and it suuuuuuucks
> 
> Oh oh, uh, hey, I just had a small idea, but...uh...if you all wanna like...add me on something like Discord, then uh... Lemme know. If enough people are interested I'll throw in my Dizzy haul next chapter. I'd love to chat with you all!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, uh, hi. It's me, so uh, yeah, here's the next chapter and all. 
> 
> Oh uh, for those of you wanting to chat with me or at least get in contact with me, you can all find me over at Tumblr with the link below. That's...uh, that's about it. Yeah. 
> 
> http://that-one-gaymer.tumblr.com

"Sayori? Hellooo?" 

I blinked into the present once more. Gosh, I've been zoning out a lot lately. Lots of stuff's been happening and I just kinda realized how emotionally exhausted I am... 

"A-ah, I'm sorry, Monika!" I chimed once I was able to focus on who was in front of me. The president gave me a concerned expression before sitting down in the desk next to me. I had completely forgotten it was club time right now... 

"Both you and Natsuki have been kind of aloof and on edge today, is something going on..?"

"O-oh, uh... Nothing!! Nothing at all! Just a bad energy day for me I guess!"

Monika didn't buy it, it was obvious that she didn't, but she gave a smile and a gentle pat on the back. 

"Remember to take care of yourself vice-prez." She reminded me before getting up to go back to her own things. Why should I take care of myself? I'm a terrible friend and a terrible vice-president... 

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Yuri and Natsuki talking. Casually. Okay, uh, miracles can happen I guess. I wonder what they're talking about... I don't have enough energy to listen in... Something about...books... Or something... 

Maybe a little nap... Just a tiny nap... 

Darkness... More darkness... The only things I can hear is the sound of my heart beat and my breathing... A little bit unsettling but... At the same time, finally some alone time, in the middle of this featureless void. 

I laid back and started up at nothing... I wonder if this is what it was like to be dead... Am I dead..? I...don't think so, I can hear my heart beat so... Hmm... 

I wonder what Natsuki would do if she were in this same situation. I honestly had no idea what Natsuki felt about being like, alone. A part of me says that she'd start freaking out, but another part of me felt like she'd actually enjoy some alone time... I don't know. Considering Natsuki's situation, it could be either. 

Why was I crushing so hard on her anyways? Was it because of that attitude? That brash personality that pushed so many people away? Why is it pulling me in then..? Was it because I now knew it was just a mask..? That I wanted to peel away that bad girl mask and see what gem laid hidden from the world? 

Maybe it was her voice... It was rough, just like her. High, and a bit nasal, but no other tone in the world could suit her better than the voice she had now. 

Her...her body, perhaps? I mean, she's short, she's cute, and she's always ready to deliver justice to some creep's face. That memory was still fresh... Ah... Good times. I wonder if she had any more bruises that I couldn't see... Like, maybe on her lower back or chest... It made me upset to think that she could harbor such wounds, but it was a real possibility... Ugh, of course when I thought about her chest I thought about seeing her naked too. She's cute but gosh, I don't want to think about that just yet, stupid perverted mind...

Okay, okay, uh... Maybe it was her writing style..? I don't know how recently, but recently I've just started adoring Natsuki's poems... Something about them just felt so special. I think it may deal with symbolism and like, convoluted analogies or something other, but... Her poems just... They shine and sing to me, it's amazing..! 

Maybe it's her passion for Manga, those weird comics that she fawns over. It's cute, really. I should really get to reading one of those... I wonder what she finds so enthralling about them. I've seen a few pages and it looks pretty exciting I guess. I haven't actually say down and read one though. I wonder what she'd recommend to me..? She's a savant when it comes to those books so I'm sure she'll throw me a good series to get into..! 

"...ori..!" Huh..? Was someone..? It... Sounds like Natsuki, that voice is pretty distinct. 

"sayori..!" It's getting louder, and more echo-y... Wait... Hold on... Was I... 

I blinked my eyes open with a Natsuki in my face, hand on my shoulder ready to shake me into the real world. 

The pink haired girl saw my eyes open just as she was about to call out my name again, I think. But she didn't and pulled back, standing up straight and crossing her arms, her face holding her usual smirk. 

"About time you came around, you lazy butt! C'mon, we got things that needs doing." She urged, playfully poking my legs with her foot. Augh, I was so groggy but Natsuki's energy was infectious... 

I stood up and stretched a bit, rubbing my eyes and looking around the room. Yuri was gone and Monika was just packing up, the room was already primarily cleaned up... Oh goodness I snoozed through the entire club... Monika gave us both a smile, but there was something about her that told me she knew more than what she let on. I didn't want to poke around that bush, and I have a feeling neither did Natsuki. 

We said our goodbyes and headed on off.  
"So, from what I remember we're just gonna stop at my place for my meds and some other stuff, maybe, then it's over to yours..?" I asked, a bit of dread making a nice home in the pit of my stomach. Natsuki nodded, looking just as nervous. 

"So, uh, I was thinking of finally trying out one of your Manga thingies..." I piped up, trying to change the topic to at least shake this feeling of utter doom hanging over us. Natsuki looked up at me with an excited expression. "I was kinda hoping you'd point me towards a good series to get my feet wet..?" 

"Oh, yeah, sure totally! Only cause you asked nicely though..! What kind of stories are you into exactly..? It'll help me dig up something more your taste." She replied excitedly. Her expression was just _adorable_ , I hoped once this is all over, she could be just as happy every day... 

I kept myself from staring too long at her cute face and glanced away, thinking about my taste in stories. Usually it varied but right now, I just wanted positive stuff

"I...I guess I kinda like silly, cute, like, uhh, slice of life stories I think they're referred to as..?" I scratched the back of my neck nervously, wincing as I brushed up against a bruise. Smart one, Sayori. Natsuki didn't seem to notice as she was deep in thought, trying to think of a series I'd enjoy. It's amazing just how much love and time she pours into these odd books. I wish I had that kind of dedication to something... 

"Yeah, yeah I got a series in mind but I keep it at school, so I'll show it to you once Monday rolls around." She piped up finally as we approached my house. 

It was a quick stop. Grab my meds. Grab my charger, couldn't forget that! Anything else I really needed..? No, not really... Oh, a few changes of clothes..! Right! 

Alright, it was... Off to Natsuki's house. Domain of the one named Papa... I took a deep sigh to try and calm my nerves. Natsuki looked just as upset about this. 

"Hey, Sayori?"

"Yes..?"

"I know from here on out, you're basically going to be winging it, but... You've... You've never let me down before, so... I really do believe you can find a way out of this mess for me..." Natsuki muttered, looking away. It's unlike her to mention something like this in this manner... She must really trust me... Great, just wait until I ultimately disappoint you... 

"I promise I'll do my best for you. Your father doesn't deserve someone who shines as bright as you do, Natsuki!"

Natsuki looked up at me before crossing her arms and looking away, the lighting of the walk making it hard to notice, but she was indeed blushing... 

"...Is...Is he home right now..?" I asked, looking ahead, wondering exactly which house was hers...

"...No...I don't think so at least..." She replied after a moment to think. 

"'I don't think so'?" I repeated, looking at her. 

"H-hey, Papa's unpredictable as hell! As far as I know, he could've died in a car crash or something, dude's so drunk all the time..!"

I should've known, haha. Fathers like hers have a reputation of being loose cannons... 

"O-of course, of course, my bad." I apologized. The rest of the walk was in silence. I wanted to break this tension somehow, but I couldn't think of anything worth talking about... 

Natsuki just kept walking with her arms crossed, seemingly lost in thought. I wonder how much father her home is from here. 

A little over a minute or something flowed by before she turned and walked into the driveway of a house. It was plain, boring, about as flashy as all the other homes here, but this one was Natsuki's... And her father's...

There was no car in the driveway so I guess her father isn't home..? Hopefully. Natsuki went to unlock the door. Before she opened it though, she turned to me. 

"Uh, sorry before hand, but uh, this place might stink." She murmured before opening the door and heading inside. 

The first thing I noticed when I entered the home was the strong, disgusting smell of alcohol. That guy did not hold back on his liquor, the dude's liver must be basically dead or something... 

The next thing I saw was the amount of bottles on the counter. Almost all of them were empty, and I could easily make a guess to say that these were supposed to hold even more booze. I coughed a bit and Natsuki glanced back at me nervously. 

"I-I'm fine..!" I piped, taking some time to try and get used to this stench. How Natsuki didn't smell like this was a mystery and a miracle. 

I followed the girl upstairs to what I could assume to be her room. She opened the door and it was...just about what I'd expect

Cleaner than I expected, but there was a desk with a handful of little cute statue thingies of colorful characters. 

Besides that, it was a pretty plain room. It served it's purpose, and most importantly, it didn't smell like booze..! 

Natsuki set her bag down and plopped herself into her bed, giving a hearty sigh. I sat down next to her and glanced around the room one more time. 

"So, uh... What do you do in your free time then..?" I asked, fidgeting with my own fingers. I was in Natsuki's room..!! 

The pinkette just sighed, shrugging. "Iunno. Papa doesn't really give me much to do in the first place. I doodle from time to time I guess. When I get really bored I do homework, but...now since my phone's busted, it's just been a whole lot of...uh...nothing." She muttered, looking at her desk. "Sorry if you get bored..."

"Oh, no, don't worry about it! I usually just sleep whenever I'm at my house alone, haha! I've kind gotten bored of everything over there so this is a...uh, unique change of pace, I guess..!" 

"Oh, uh, do you want to take a nap..? The bed's all yours if you do..."

"Oh! Nono, I'm fine right now, haha! You uh, mentioned you drew from time to time..?"

"Oh, uhh, haha, they're terrible so I'm not showing them to you. Period."

"Awww, C'mon Natsukiii! Anything you do is super cool!!" I half chimed, half begged, throwing my arms around her. I don't know why exactly I did it but Natsuki didn't shove me away just yet so... 

"N-not everything... dummy..." Natsuki muttered in reply. 

I don't know how long we sat together like that. Did this qualify as cuddling..? 

Natsuki's heart beat was fast, probably cause she's nervous. She had a lot to be nervous about. I'm nervous too... But she was pretty warm and comfortable, so I stood where I was, resting my head on her shoulder. Natsuki didn't even move so uhh... I guess she was okay with it..?? 

I don't know when I closed my eyes but I opened them when I heard the front door open and slam shut. Natsuki tensed up immediately. 

...Papa was home...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do hope I'm still playing these characters correctly. I'm always worried I'm going OoC cause of like, playing Natsuki in tender moments where I think she'd feel alright lowering her brash attitude, but... I don't know...


	15. C͝hapt̢er͘ ̶15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **TW// Domestic Violence  
> **  
>  Take care of yourselves please
> 
> I'm at a friend's currently! Keeping them company for the weekend, hehe..!
> 
> So, updates may be coming out a bit later than usual, but I'm still aiming for a chapter a day!!
> 
> But besides that, I'm just so happy to hear that you all enjoy the story so much! Enough to talk about it with others even?! Like, holy moly!!! 
> 
> I'll be doing my best to make sure you all enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it!!
> 
> .҉҉.͢.Ǫ̕̕h̨̕,͘͟ ̡I͝ k̡̢n̕o̧̡͠w̕ w̴̕ḩa͏҉t͞ ̶҉̢to͟ ̕d͟o.̢͞..̵̡͟I'̢͡l̸҉l͡ ͘͏j̛u҉s̷t̢̛̕.̢̨͟.̕͟.̡p̵op̵͘ t҉͏h̢͝aţ͘͡ ͏̶̡ţ̧hę͜rȩ ̧͏a̡͟n̕͝d̛͠.̶̧.̡͜.̷̡h̛m̛҉̵h̴̕͞.͢͡.͏͘.̡̕

"...Natsuki, why is--?!" Her father switched his angry gaze between us two. We had decided to come down to meet him. Together. Hiding me would only make things worse. 

 

Natsuki was about to pipe up something but held her tongue. I haven't seen her do that too often. Dad seemed to have remembered something and nodded, his face instantly becoming...sickeningly sweet. 

"So, who is it I have the pleasure of meeting today? So, one of Natsuki's supposed friends?" He asked cheerfully, a faint slur in his voice. He was still obviously drunk but... This felt off. Natsuki's grip on my hand tightened to nearly uncomfortable levels. 

"I, uhh, yeah, I'm... I'm Suzu..!" I piped up nervously, giving my best smile. 

"Well, Suzu, it's an honor to meet you! Keep little Natsuki here busy, alright? Papa's got a lot of work to do!" He gave a smile. Natsuki was shaking. 

"O-of course! I'll be doing my best, sir!"

"Aw, such a good girl. Why can't you be more like her, Natsuki?" He said in a bit of an accusatory tone. 

"N-Natsuki's actually brilliant in her own ways..!"

"I-I'm really not... C'mon, Say...Suzu... Lets head back to my room!" Natsuki gave me am urgent smile. She wanted to withdraw for now. I could understand why. There was this weird aura emanating from her father and it was kinda creeping both of us out. 

"You girls do whatever it is you girls do. Just don't cause a ruckus." 

"W-we'll be good, Papa!" Natsuki chimed as she dragged me back up to her room.

She shut the door as calmly as possible and looked at me with an equally unsettling grin, walking over to her bed and grabbing her pillow before screaming into it. 

I just sat next to her and did what I could to comfort her. After she was done with her little outburst she sighed, looking at me with an unreadable expression. I leaned back and gently pat her shoulder. 

"Penny for your thoughts..?" I asked. 

"I... _hate_ him." She muttered, her voice seething. It kinda caught me off guard to be honest. "I knew he was going to hide his act but literally pulling the same personality that he had when... When Mama was still around it... Was all my memories of what Papa used to be just...just an act?" She asked, looking at up at me helplessly... 

"...I...I can't say for sure. I have little to no experience with your father, but that very well could be the case... And... It's terrible, it really is..." I replied, trying to sum up a mature answer. Natsuki frowned. 

"You fucking bet it is! It's because of him I don't know who to fucking trust anymore..! And...a-at the end of the day, you're kinda the only one I can really count on...so...please don't... Please don't do anything stupid... Otherwise I'm going to have to kick your butt, okay?? I mean it!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm pretty sure you would too. And... If it ever comes to pass... If I ever betray you, even on accident... I'm prepared for it." I murmured, placing her hand on my check. I was honestly trying to be as sincere as possible, but really, it only made Natsuki more fidgety. 

"I...I mean it. I don't want to ever have to deal with you."

"You won't have to."

"...Promise..?"

"I promise."

Natsuki leaned on me slightly, getting my attention. She's looks...content..? Maybe that's not the right word for it. Uh... Maybe uhmm... Satisfied? No that's worse... 

Either way, she looks very uh, happy. I'm... I'm happy I could be able to do this for her but... Her Dad... The blatantly fake act, how long could he keep it up? 

How long does he want to keep it up? 

I decided to lean back on her, my heart doing it's Doki Doki deal. I normally would have wanted this to stop, but in a moment like this, I just wanted this to last a bit longer than forever. Is that possible? ...Is infinity plus 1 still infinity..? I... I think so... 

My head rested on top of hers, that pink hair lightly tickling my cheek. I felt her flinch a bit but she didn't say anything so uh, I guess it's still fine..? 

We sat like that for a little bit, like not even a minute before Natsuki whined, pushing me off 

"Ggah! I'm not gonna take this anymore!" She cried playfully. I was caught off guard and fell over on the bed. Natsuki seized the opportunity and pounced. 

"N-Natsu--?!"

"I'm not short, right Sayori?? I'm just like, fun-sized or something right?"

"I-I uh... Yeah, I don't know why you'd... I think you're cute the way you are."

"I-I'm not cute! Both of us know it! I'm fierce as fuck!!"

"Ahaa, of course Natsuki!" I chimed before realizing that we were in a...kind of compromising position. "Aha...haha, uh, Natsuki..?" I felt my face heat up with a blush. 

Natsuki seemed to get the memo and backed off, blushing like mad as well. 

"U-uhh well... Uhmm..." I fumbled to try and think of something to use to change the topic as I sat up. "Well, uh, I do got my phone, you wanna play something on that?" 

"You got a multi-player game for your phone?"

"Uh, no, but I got A game you'd probably like. Hopefully. It's like, strategy kinda."

"...Well, uh, lay it on me, I guess." Natsuki scooted up to me as I pulled out my phone. 

I don't know how long we played for and goofed off for, but just after a short time, Natsuki had already claimed her favorite characters as Selena and Sharena. 

"Sayori, I know you're weird, but why did you ever decide to give Sharena a Carrot...Lance...spear...thing..?"

"Well, uh, she just looked a bit hungry one day, y'know?"

Natsuki giggled. Ah, she's just so perfect...

"But really, it's because of this skill right here, in her A Slot."

"Uhh...'Fury 3'?" 

"Yeah, it usually makes it so she takes 6 damage after combat in exchange for a powerful stat boost. This Carrot Lance is upgraded so if Sharena ever attacks during combat, she'll heal back 4 health after combat, making the net total a 2 health loss for a stat roid."

"And you tell me you're bad at math"

"This game is practice I guess?"

"Huh... This kinda game seems like something Monika would play."

"Oh, she does! Here, lemme find her..."

I scrolled through my friends list and found Monika's player name. She uses the same name on almost all things so it's not hard to find her. 

I pulled up her representative unit and sighed softly. Monika was the kind of player to min-max and use powerful units. 

Her rep unit though was a 5 Star +2 Tiki... The adult one... Uh... Yeah, with an upgraded Lighting Breath, Ignis, Steady Breath, Recover 3, Quick Riposte 3 Sacred Seal... Yeah, this was a beast of a unit. 

"...I don't know what half of that stuff means, but knowing Monika, this gal is probably super strong..." Natsuki murmured. I just nodded. 

"Yeah, she's is. Monika has shown me first hand what she could do." I replied, remembering a time where this Tiki soloed countless maps before my eyes. It was respectfully terrifying. 

"Hey, do you think that there's a--"

"Natsuki!! Get down here right now!!"

Papa didn't sound too sober... Or happy for that matter...Natsuki's mood almost instantly plummeted. 

"I'll... I'll be back." She murmured getting up. 

"No." I grabbed her wrist. "I'm coming with you."

Natsumi obviously hesitated but nodded in the end. We both got up and opened the door, heading downstairs. Together. 

Papa was fuming, and seeing me with Natsuki didn't seem to help the situation... I held my tongue. 

"W-what is it Papa..?" Natsuki asked, trying to put up her strong front

"Suzu, go back upstairs. This doesn't concern you."

"N-Natsuki's my best friend, sir..." I replied, shakily, gripping Natsuki's hand for reassurance. Papa came stomping up to us. Natsuki gripped my hand tighter and tighter... 

He gripped both of our wrists and ripped us apart. It hurt. Bad. His grip was tight, unyeilding, merciless...

"O-ow, Papa..!" I heard Natsuki cry out. What happened next was a total blur, but he gripped me by my neck... My... Still bruised neck. I couldn't focus on much else besides the pain. I think I let out a scream? Did I scream? 

"S-Sayori!! P-Papa, stop it, you're hurting her!" I heard in the distance... That was Natsuki. Natsuki is a friend... I... I need to pull myself together, for her, I can't let this pain get the better of me..! 

"Sayori?" I heard him ask. "So, you lied to me didn't you..?" My eyes were closed but I could feel his gaze on me as I was struggling to get out of his grip. I couldn't... I'm not strong enough... 

"I don't tolerate liars in this household..." He sneered. I could smell alcohol and bad breath. He must've said that to my face. 

"P-Papa, stop! Let go of-aaah!!" Natsuki was hurt... I could feel movement. Was he carrying me somewhere? I wasn't too heavy, I'm sure I was just a feather to him... Breathing was getting really difficult. My lungs really started burning, and it hurt, so much... 

"I'll take care of you later... _Sayori_..."

A painful jerk and I felt weightless... Did he throw me..? An impact against the side of the bed a split second later told me that, yes, he did in fact throw me... Gosh, if this is what Natsuki has to go through each and every day... 

I cracked my eyes open just as the door slammed shut, my lungs taking the liberty to intake some much needed oxygen. Vivid flashbacks, uncomfortably vivid flashbacks to my... Attempt blinked through my mind, I felt so weak, so helpless, so, so useless... 

I could hear Natsuki's cries of pain from here... I needed... I needed to help her... I tried to get up but my body just... It didn't want to function! I couldn't move more than a few inches before giving up, pain fully incapacitating me... 

I'm so sorry, Natsuki... 

I'm so so sorry...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Yeah, I might need to add some tags, hold on... Yeah, okay...


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW// Domestic Violence, Bad Touch.  
>  Take care of yourselves**
> 
> Who's ready for more angst?
> 
> I sure am. 
> 
> Of course I am, I typed this... 
> 
> Oh well, please enjoy this chapter!!
> 
> Oh, BTW, I loved your guys' and gals' reactions with yesterday's chapter, haha!

How long has it been? I... I couldn't tell anyone an honest guess, I've been lapsing in and out of this world and my dreams about as fast as those F1 cars...except faster...

Darkness, cries for help, darkness, cries for help, darkness, cries for help... It's a cycle that would get boring had it not been for the situation which actually lapsed from my mind as well.

Just...what was I doing... Just laying here and letting my best friend get beat up by her father? I don't want to be this useless but... Apparently now I am...

Quiet... It's quiet now... Is Natsuki okay..? Does... Does my body want to work..? I tried moving a finger. Okay, it... It moves. My wrist? A bit of a pain, but besides that it's functional. My arm... Uh, more pain, but still functional... I think I can at least sit up...

The moment I put myself upright, my head started spinning, and I had to lean back against Natsuki's bed for support... I was in Natsuki's room, right..? Yeah, a quick glance at the desk confirmed my thought. Good... Ugh, gosh, my neck hurt so bad...

Is Natsuki okay though..? I don't know if she's alright, there's nothing but footsteps now... Were those footsteps coming to this room? They didn't have a limp, and they felt heavy... So.. Uhm... Oh no...

 _He_ opened the door... His hands were slightly covered with blood... Oh gosh... Oh no, that was Natsuki's wasn't it..? He looked down at me with a dark expression. I felt doom crawl down my spine... He walked up to me.

"Hahah... Uhh... G-good to see you, s-sir..." I laughed weakly and nervously. Of course I had to laugh. Isn't it some people's reactions to laugh at the face of danger..?

"You're under my roof, you operate under my rules. And rule number 1 is never... _ever_ lie to Papa..."

Stars filled my vision and my cheek stung really badly... I think he slapped me... My heart started pumping adrenaline, this was bad, this was really bad...

"Rule number 2." He spoke. I could barely hear him over the ringing of pain in my head. "Never."

Kick to the shins...

"Ever"

Kick to the stomach... I didn't know my head could spin faster than this but getting the wind knocked out of you definitely does just that... 

"Tell"

He grabbed both of my wrists and pulled me up to face him... I was still coughing and reeling from the hit to the stomach...

"Look at me..."

I couldn't... There was no way I could...

"Look at me!!" He squeezed my wrists with an iron grip and boy howdy, it hurt bad... I managed to lift my head and crack one eye open to look at him.

My vision was terribly clouded due to tears but I could see see his skin tone, and I could smell the alcohol...

"Never _ever_ tell anyone what happens here, cause I won't hesitate to drive a knife into Natsuki's gut..." He sneered evily... This man... There was absolutely no hope of redemption for him... I absolutely _refused_ to strive for his betterment... He was absolutely terrible, the bane of banes... But I refused to let my light be snuffed out by the likes of him. I wouldn't.

"And you know Papa doesn't lie... That'd be violating rule number 1..."

Was that his attempt at a sick joke? I normally laughed at crappy jokes but I didn't have the spirit to even giggle right now...

He reared back and threw me onto the bed, my head hitting the wall it was up against. Ooof, that was really disorienting...

I felt some of my clothes roughly shift around... Was he... Ew!! Ew ew ew, no!! Nono!!

Almost as fast as it happened, I felt his touch leave me. Thank goodness fuck... Ugh... Though he leaned in to whisper. I could feel his body so close to mine it... It made me want to throw up...

"Though Papa will give you a chance to redeem yourself later... Should you choose... And Papa really hopes you decide to be a good girl again..." He spoke to me before turning and leaving, the door slamming shut behind him...

I, frankly, was too exhausted to cry... But I wanted to, I really did...

This was supposed to be a 'Rescue Natsuki from Papa' mission, not 'Get an exclusive, first-hand, never before seen expirience of what Natsuki has soldiered through mission'...

...

I was in danger... Back against the counter, Papa was approaching me with... A Pistol?! Was it loaded?!? Oh, oh no..! I could see Natsuki in the background, bloody and beat, crying out to Papa to stop, but really, neither of us could hear her...

Time slowed to a stop and I watched as a knife floated out of a nearby drawer and gently place itself on the counter that I was pinned against, comfortably within reach... It seemed to shine a radiant gold... Like it was the magical item that could finally strike down Natsuki's father...

I don't know how or why, but that knife felt eerily important. Like it was the world trying to tell me to remember where this knife was...

I blinked and it was dark. Oh, I was back in Natsuki's room... The light must be off. Must've been sleeping... The door quietly creaked open and I heard sniffles...

"N-Natsuki..?" I asked, fully well knowing it was her... My voice was weak and shaky. It wouldn't even take an expert to realize I've been pretty badly wounded...

The girl froze and stared at me through the darkness. I could barely make out the features of her face. The light of the hallway backlighting her in such a way that made her look like some kind of action hero...

From what I could see, she had dried blood on her face from what I could guess was a bloody nose, a black eye, bruises littered her arms and legs... It was terrible...

I could handle what her father dealt to me, but seeing Natsuki so hurt just made me hate him even more... I didn't know I could hate someone so much... I think I know how she felt when she didn't want me to come over now... Stupid Sayori trying to help when it's so obviously out of your hands...

Natsuki had walked over and crawled onto the bed, keeping a small distance between us as she broke down and cried quietly, her sobs shaking the bed...

I couldn't accept this... I couldn't just... No... I reached over and gently pulled Natsuki into a soft hug, making sure to not hold her too tightly, both because of the bruises and just so she could wiggle out of it if she felt uncomfortable but, she didn't do anything besides shift and cry into my chest, much like that one day in the bathroom... My body was sore as hell, but it probably was nothing compared to what Natsuki had been going through all this time.

At her core, she was just a scared little girl wanting to learn how to love and trust again... Hiding underneath a harsh mask of toughness and brash personality...

This is who Natsuki is. She's who I fell for, and she will be the one I help out of this mess. One way or another...

I gently hushed and cooed little sweet nothings to Natsuki in an attempt to help her feel a little better faster. I at least hoped she was listening...

I glanced around the room for some kind of indication on what time it was. I had no idea where my phone went... I think it was on the desk, but I don't want to move to check. Natsuki was more important.

Ah, an analog on the wall... Uhh... 9:52..? I'm going to assume it's night time as well... Did... Did we get anything to eat..? Luckily I grabbed those little snacks earlier back at the Penny's, so when we're both feeling better, we could at least have something to munch on...

"S-Sayori..?"

"Hmm..?"

"Did... Did he hurt you bad..?"

"...No...He couldn't even scratch my spirit." I responded, gently dodging what she was asking. I wanted to save her the guilt but I think she knew what I was trying to do.

"But... Your neck..." She murmured weakly. Ah yes, that painful choke hold... It wasn't... Too fond on a memory...

"...It...It hurt really badly, yeah... But... I'm sure we'll be fine. He wouldn't kill us..."

"I want to believe you on that, I really do... But..." Natsuki shifted, nuzzling her face into the crook of my neck, her hair tickling my sensitive cheek.

"You're scared he will..?" I asked. She was warm... The only place that felt like home in this house was next to Natsuki...

"...Mmhmm..." She hummed, not moving at all, seemingly comfortable where she was.

"...I shouldn't have let you come... He hurt you..." Natsuki whimpered, gently gripping my shirt. My mind flashed back to her father doing next to the same thing, but... This wasn't him, this was Natsuki. She wasn't even lifting my shirt she was just grabbing it... I kept my nerves calm with a shaky sigh, trying to make it seem like I was thinking of a response.

"Well... If I hadn't come... He could have done worse to you and... I couldn't just sit and let that happen." I responded finally, trying to give her a smile even though I knew she wouldn't see it. Her face was still buried in my neck... Her breath was warm and thinking about it made me shudder a bit.

"...Is something wrong..?" Natsuki asked, looking up at me. The low lighting made her look so cute if that black eye weren't there... She must've felt my shudder, haha... Uhh..

"N-nothing..! Your uh... Your hair was just a bit on the tickily side, haha..! Don't worry about it. I'm here for you." I could feel a small blush on my face but hopefully the low light kept it a secret.

"Hey, really though, you're cute" I heard myself say. Goddamnt Sayori..! I felt Natsuki tense up a bit. Great...

"I-I'm not cute... I'm... I'm fierce as fuck..."

"Of course, of course, my bad." I responded, giggling softly. It hurt to laugh with my neck and stomach in the conditions they're in, but... Ugh, Natsuki didn't deserve someone as lowly as me...

Calm down, Sayori..! Natsuki says you're the only person she feels she can confide in, she said that herself!! Stop selling yourself short!

I sighed, partly out of happiness and the other part out of tiredness. Like, I'm tired of my self-deprecation... I'm tired of Natsuki's dad... I just wanted to kiss Natsuki and let her know that everything was going to be alright but...

"Sayori... U-uh... I've... Despite everything... I've been thinking about... Like... How I feel about... You, about myself... And... Well... Uh... I'm just... T-this is on the off chance we don't make it out of this B-but..."

"Natsuki, we're going to make it through this, I promise... He won't be getting either of us."

"H-hey, lemme finish! I just...wanted to ask you if you uh...maybe just wanted to....uh....kiss... J-just because I'm curious about it, and not because I really actually like you back just yet, I'm still trying to work out my feelings for you but... I... I want to at least try this one thing..."

I blinked.

"...Uh...you...you want to k-kiss me..?"

"G-geez, way to make it sound way worse than it is!! Not that kissing you would be a bad thing but you don't need to say it like that..!"

Gosh, she's so cute when she's flustered...

"...Yeah, okay... You can..." I replied my heart starting to beat faster with adrenaline, but for good reasons this time...

"R-really..?"

"Hey now, hurry up before I change my mind~!" I teased jokingly. Natsuki let out a small whine that I found absolutely _adorable_...

"Okay, okay, just...hold on..." She murmured, shifting and lifting her face so I could see her. That black eye was really upsetting...

Before I could make any more notes about her appearance though, she pushed forward and our lips actually, haha, they didn't touch, she ended up with her lips on my chin!

We both giggled off our nerves and I gently helped guide her to my lips and they touched. Despite being battered and bruised, her lips were as soft as her heart... Mine were dried and slightly chapped cause I don't ever take care of myself but... Something told me she didn't mind too much.

And in that moment, with our lips locked...

It really felt like everything would be okay.

Just Natsuki and I.  
And our tempered determination to make it through this mess.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still undecided but uh, next chapter might have some SUUUUPER sketchy stuff.
> 
> Might. 
> 
> I love angst and suffering so it might happen... 
> 
> Might.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus late night chapter update!!!
> 
> Finally, okay, I managed to squeeze in some fluff relief.
> 
> Oh, yeah, hey, 3k+ hits tonight!! 
> 
> We also breached the 30k word count with this chapter as well, so Yay! 
> 
> Please, kick back, relax, and enjoy yourselves today! Remember to eat too! And your meds if you take them!

We both stared at each other in the dim low light of her room, both of our hearts Blazing with the excitement of our first kisses.

The situation was grim, but it still kinda felt romantic... That black eye still made me frown though. Even if she's fierce as fuck, heh...

My phone on the desk vibrated, catching both of our attentions. Natsuki quickly scrambled off of me and snatched it before I could even move.

"Hey! That's mine you kn-owow!!" I moved to try and snatch the phone but I got a really sharp pain down my stomach. Seems like my body didn't hesitate to remind me I'm still injured.

"Sayori? You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, just moved too fast. Gimme my phone"

"No..!"

"Uh, yeah, gimme gimme here."

"Make me"

"Gimme gimmeeeee!!"

"No, haha! Hands off you gremlin!"

"Suki pleaaaase?"

"Suki? Really?"

"I don't wanna end up touching a hurt spot, so please Suki??"

"Seriously?"

"What, do you not like the nickname?"

"N-no, I don't hate it but... H-hey!!"

I managed to snatch my phone while she was distracted, hehe~! 

"Finally! Let's see here... Game notifications, texts in the group chat... Monika texted as well..?"

"Monika sent you a pm? What's she on about?" 

_[10:00 PM] Just Moni~: Hey, I know it's kinda late but I just remembered since I forgot to tell you during school, but I managed to finally get my QP SS to 3!_

I snickered a bit. 

"She's just telling me she got that Quick Riposte Sacred Seal to 3 is all." I told Natsuki as I typed my reply. 

_[10:00 PM] HappyThoughts: Goodness Monika, you play that game too much!! I barely got my 5* Corrin from this TT event!_

_[10:00 PM] Just Moni~: Oh, you're up? Be sure to get some good sleep. I don't want to have to worry about you, vice-pres!_

_[10:00 PM] Just Moni~: Oh, btw, a while ago I got this really icky, worried feeling while thinking about you and Natsuki today. Is everything seriously alright between you two?_

_[10:01 PM] HappyThoughts: Oh, haha, there's nothing to worry about, but thank you for worrying about Natsuki and I! We're fine, I promise!_

_[10:01 PM] Just Moni~: 'We'? Are you with Natsuki rn?_

Oh whoops uhh... 

_[10:01 PM] HappyThoughts: Uh, no, not rn. I just said we cause her phone's busted and all, but I know she's doing alright. She's fierce as fuck!_

_[10:01 PM] Just Moni~: Huh...that sounds like something she'd say alright, haha..!_

_[10:02 PM] Just Moni~: Well, just take care of yourself, alright?_

_[10:02 PM] HappyThoughts: I will, Moni!! Goodnight!_

_[10:02 PM] Just Moni~: Goodnight, Sayori!_

I locked my phone and sighed softly. I knew Natsuki was peaking over my shoulder. 

"Sorry for almost letting loose the beans on accident..."

"It's okay... I'm just not ready for the othera to know right now... But later, maybe."

I turned to face Natsuki and rested my chin on her shoulder, sighing tiredly. 

"You hungry..?" 

"Am I ever! Did you sneak snacks..?" 

"I mean, I guess technically I did. Remember those chip bags I bought back when you smoked that cashier?" 

"Ah, right, right. Good times." 

"Yeah, good times! Those chip bags are in my bag."

Natsuki gently pulled herself away form me before quickly grabbing my book bag and digging in it. Sure enough, there was that kinda big bag of potato chips. They weren't quiet, nor were they any sort of meal, but... They'd do more than suffice for right now..!

"Is it okay to be eating this right now..?" 

"Yeah, I think so. Papa's asleep at this time and his room as down the hall further, so I don't think we're too at risk..." Natsuki replied, ripping open the bag and digging in. Her face when she took a bite of those chips was almost worth all the suffering I had endured to get to this moment.

"Hey, get over here and at least share a bit, you dummy~!" I chimed quietly, patting the spot she was just sitting in on the bed. Natsuki looked up at me and shook her head.

"Nuh uh. I'm staying put!"

"C'mon, Suki..!"

"Nope!"

"Please?"

"...N-nuh uh!"

"Pleeaaaaaase??"

"...Fine, but only cause you won't stop bothering me about it."

"Yay!"

Natsuki stood up with the bag and plopped herself down next to me, tilting the bag towards me so I could reach in and grab some chips of my own.

When you've been deprived of dinner, Potato Chips really are the best thing you could ever taste at like 10:05 at night.

To be honest, a part of me wanted to kiss her again. The first time was just so exciting, so magical, that I kinda let myself get addicted to, but... Natsuki just said once, so I need to keep my gay tendencies under control, no matter how exciting the thought of kissing my best friend again is.

We sat there together, munching on potato chips and chatting idly. About school, about our friends... I never knew that Natsuki really wanted to be such good friends with Yuri, since they argue a whole bunch, but now that I know, I feel like I could try and help them become better friends...

We also talked about, well, 'us', because I had to be a helpless romantic and bring it up with the not-so-subtle question of "So what exactly is your preference when it comes to people?"

"...Well, uh, I nevernever really knew you were gay, but knowing that kinda...makes me question my own idea on myself too."

"W-well, I'm not 100% positive if I'm a lesbian right now since I still have no idea how I feel about guys but..."

"Sayori, liking girls still makes you a little bit gay."

"I-I know..! But like, Monika already knows she's bi..."

"Monika's bi?! When did she tell you?"

"Oh, uh, haha, a few months ago. It was during a late night phone call cause she couldn't sleep. I think she was having one of those depersonalization episodes or something. I'm not too sure what she's on about sometimes, but she's a close friend, so I'm more than happy to help."

"Yeah, I kinda get that. Sometimes her poems are weird enough to make you question reality too, haha..! It's... It's nice to know that our friend group is pretty inclusive though. I feel a lot safer trying to figure myself out knowing that you and Monika aren't y'know 'straight'." Natsuki did the little quote gesture too. 

"Why'd you put air quotes on 'Straight'?"

"Cause like, you know, it's...like, I'm talking about the preference, and not a state of being..?"

"I... I guess, haha"

"Don't patronize me like this..." Natsuki muttered, huffing cutely. I just giggled and reached into the potato chip bag to notice... 

"Oh, we're out already..? I think I packed some Oreos too, hold on..." I murmured, digging into my bag for the sweet treats... 

"Okay, real talk though. Do you eat the cream separately or with the two cookie thingies?" Natsuki piped up behind me. 

"Haha, I uh, I eat the entire thing together. It's a nice mix of sweet tastes."

"Ugh, I just eat the cream usually."

"Just the cream inside? Doesn't that get like, a bit sickening after a bit?" I pulled out the pack of Oreos and sat on the bed, opening the package and pulling out a cookie for Natsuki. She took it and studied it while she replied. 

"Kinda, but it still tastes good." She replied, just popping the entire thing into her mouth.

"I thought you said you only eat the cream!" 

"Hey, I'm eating the cookies too cause it's sustenance" 

"Not a lot, but I'll take that." I replied with a small giggle, taking a bite out of mine.

We sat there, tearing through our supply of snacks without mercy. Thought at one point, Natsuki's fingers found themselves intertwined with mine. I don't know when exactly it happened, but I really did like holding hands with her..! 

I had no idea what tomorrow would bring. Especially with a loose cannon such as Natsuki's father on his rampage, but, at least my first day here tought me to take the good moments when you can get them. 

They don't last forever, but that just makes enjoying them all the more better. 

To have your ups, you gotta have your downs. 

It's just that some of us have had a little too many downs. It's about time we had some ups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, back to your regularly scheduled angst.


	18. C͏ha̸p͢t̕e̵r̡ 18.̢.?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW// Heavily implied Sexual Assault happens, so uh, reader discretion is advised. Heavily.**
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> Uh... I'm... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. We'll get our happy ending soon enough, I promise, please...
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> M̸m̸̢͘m͡m̢̛͟, ̶n̷͠a͢͟ḩ̴,̷ ͜ţh̵ęy͘͠ a̸r̸͟e̡͝n͘'̧t͘.҉

It was early morning. My bed was especially comfortable, now that I shared this with my girlfriend..!

I shifted a bit and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. She was still asleep, the little cutie. Natsuki cracked her eyes open and smiled tiredly at me, so I just gave her a giggle.

"Good Morning, Cupcake" I mused softly, putting another kiss on her other cheek. I really didn't deserve a girlfriend as perfect and fierce as Natsuki but...

Cupcake acted quickly, responding with a quick kiss to the lips! The thief! I kissed her back to reclaim my stolen kiss! Then she kissed me back again..!

Not even a minute into our... I guess it would be a make out session thing... Well, either way, I started crying and Natsuki instantly pulled away, concerned and worried expression on her face.

"Oh, shoot, did I do something wrong, Sayo?" She asked quickly. I shook my head, wiping the tears from my face

"N-no, haha, you're perfect, Cupcake... I'm just... So... So happy right now... I feel like I could be on top of the world..! I wish this could last forever..."

Those last two words I said repeated and resonated in my head...

Suddenly the ground started shaking, and Natsuki started to panic..!

"S-Sayo!" She cried out before a massive hand broke through the side of my wall and snatched Natsuki, pulling her out without any trouble while she screamed in panic and fear..!

"Natsuki!" I yelled, running over to the hole and I could feel my face harden with determination. I feel like I should have gone pale but... No, not when Natsuki needs me.

The sight was a massive, massive Papa... Holding Natsuki in his hand while he laughed evilly... I could see his eyes glow red...

"Hey! Let go of my girlfriend!!" I yelled up at him. The giant just laughed heartily...

"Come get her then, you little useless shit!"

...

...

I blinked my eyes open. I was back in Natsuki's room, the sun was gently shining through the boarded up window in her room...

I blinked again and saw Natsuki had been cuddled into my chest, still asleep.

Sighing softly, I gently moved a hand to rub her back, enjoying the physical closeness of the moment. Unfortunately, it seemed like Natsuki was a light sleeper and that little shift woke her up.

She quickly lifted her head and glanced towards the door before noticing where she was in the bed in comparison to me. I was wholy expecting her to instantly climb out of the bed and claim that she hadn't meant to cuddle in her sleep, but uh...

She just kinda nuzzled back into my chest, making me blush a bit. I doodled a star into her back gently.

"G-good morning..!" I chimed softly, my tongue almost let loose a 'Cupcake', remembering the affectionate nickname I had given her in my dream...

Natsuki just hummed in response, barely shifting at all. Was...was she not a morning person..?

"Not an early bird, huh?" I asked, letting her know my thoughts. She shook her head.

"Not right now no. I usually am, but...not now. You're too comfy." She spoke into my chest, only letting me hear and interpret her muffled speech. I had no problem deciphering what she had said, but she was cute when she was groggy...

"Hey, what does your father do on weekends, usually..?"

"...A whole lot of nothing. Half the time he just stays home and yells at the TV. If I'm lucky, he'll head to the bar a little while after noon."

I nodded, taking in this information.

"Is he awake right now..?"

"....What's the time..?"

"Uhh...it's like, 7:45 in the morning."

"He's just waking up right now then. We should probably split. I don't want to know what he'd do if he saw us like this..."

"Good thinking..." I murmured with a slight but of disappointment. I really liked cuddling with Natsuki..!

We both split apart after a but of hesitation on both of our ends but now both of us were sitting up, legs dangling over the edge of the bed. Natsuki stretched and I yawned. When I stretched, Natsuki yawned. I giggled slightly and Natsuki gave me a curious look. Her black eye hadn't healed up in the slightest yet...

"I just had a funny thought is all." I spoke, giving Natsuki a dismissive wave of the hand while I moved to grab my meds from my bag. 

Natsuki opened her mouth to respond, but we both heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. Natsuki tensed up. I rushed, quickly popping a pill into my mouth, tossing the bottle back into my bag as the door burst open, revealing the one and only Papa...

He glanced between the two of us before making eye contact with me. His gaze was...different...I don't know what it was but I didn't like it.

"Sayori. Come with me." Was all he said in an unreadable tone.

I glanced at Natsuki nervously and she gave me an equally nervous shrug.

"C-could Natsuki join us..? I hate being by myself..."

"This has nothing to do with Natsuki, and besides, you'll be with me. Papa's not bad, right?"

I had a few choice words to respond to that with but I held my tongue, glancing at Natsuki again.

"Hurry before I lose my goddamn patience..."

Natsuki then gave me the urgent gesture of 'Go on ahead'. I nodded and shakily got up. I had this really really bad feeling in my gut...

I followed him out of the room and into another bedroom, what I could only assume to be his. Why did he want me here..?

He shut the door behind me and pinned me against the wall roughly. I think my head hit the wall cause I was a bit dizzy after that...

I then felt his lips on mine... Gross... Gross, gross, gross!!! Ew!! I tried to push him away, tried to turn away, but he had me pinned, I couldn't... No...

I think I know why he wanted me in his bedroom now...

He tasted like...alcohol...bitter and no sweet... Nothing like Natsuki... He was nothing like her...

Ew!! Was that his tongue?? I wanted to throw up, I kinda gagged a bit I think, but he used that moment to shove that slimy piece of shit into my mouth... It was... So disgusting what the fuck was he doing?!! What kind of messed up kiss is this?!? Why was Natsuki's father kissing **me**?!?

After what felt to be the grossest eternity of my life he pulled away, panting like some crazed predator... That's exactly what he was... This man wasn't human anymore... I refused to associate myself with him...

"Are you ready to be a good girl for Papa? I can't do this with Natsuki, but you're a good obedient girl, right? You'll let Papa do what he wants?"

"N-no! I don't want this..!" I spoke up, with a surprising amount of strength... "I-I'd rather **die** than let you touch me like this!!"

His face darkened and I almost instantly regret talking back at him...

"Oh... Is that so..?" He asked. I could feel his grip on my shoulders tighten... "Shame... I was really hoping you'd decide to be a good girl for Papa, but it seems like Natsuki's just a bad influence..."

He grabbed me by my neck again and almost all my senses blacked out for a moment, all I felt was pain, panic, and fear. Pure unadulterated fear... This fear was even stronger than the fear I felt when I tried to kill myself...

"Seems like Papa'll have to perform some behavior correction... And take what he wants..." He sneered into my ear, his hands roughly gripping at my clothes...

I wanted to get away, I really did!! But everything... It just... Happened so quickly I... I... 

...

...

Please let this be some nightmare...

...

...

...

I never wanted this...

...

...

...

I _**hate**_ Papa...

...

...

...

Okay, I can wake up now... Please..??

...

...

...

It hurts... Really bad...

...

...

...

I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna...

...

...

...

No, please... Stop this... Anyone...

...

...

...

Natsuki, please..! Help... Help me... Anyone... P-please....

...

...

..

.

 

 

 

Darkness. I lay back, looking up at infinite darkness. My entire body was sore, it didn't want to move. I had no spirit to move... 

He did it. 

He broke me.

And I prided myself on my nigh unbreakable spirits but...

Not now.

I just wanted to curl up and cry and just vanish from existence...

I was too embarrassed to live. Too embarrassed to exist... Natsuki really deserved better than some girl who got to know her father against her own will...

I threw myself into this mess in the first place. Boy howdy, I was so stupid... So, so stupid... I wonder why Natsuki trusted me in the first place... She had the right idea at the beginning... Ugh... I'm useless...

I tried to help a friend when I couldn't even help myself.

Pathetic Sayori...

Useless Sayori...

I should just die...

 

 

Okay, okay, get a hold of yourself Sayori. Your spirit may have been broken, but not your will... I can fix this. I can pull myself back together again...

Okay, okay... How in the world am I supposed to take on the evil behemoth that is 'Papa'?

The logical answer was that I get friends to help. He was much too powerful for me to take down on my own...

But I promised Natsuki I wouldn't tell the other girls... Was a promise worth all this trouble..? ...It'd be the only promise I break, but in return, I'd be able to take down Papa... But... Natsuki trusted me so much, if I broke a promise, what would that do to her? She was already paranoid since her father's act was actually all a ruse in the first place but... I couldn't do that to her.

What am I supposed to do..?

I just wanted to forget what happened... 

Forget... If only it was all just as easy as that. 

I blinked my eyes open. The light was way too bright for me right now... I took a quick assessment of my body. I was sore as _hell_. Cold. I was really cold too... Was I naked..? I think I was... I felt the bedsheets against my skin. Uh, I think something was around my wrist. My right one... I cracked my eyes open and glanced up.

It was a cuff... I was cuffed to the bed...

O...kay, uhmm... Yeah, uh... I... I didn't want to think about that anymore. I slowly sat up, wincing in slight pain as my body whined at me. At least I could move...

"Sayori??" I heard from the hall. Was that Natsuki? I didn't want her to see me like this!! I really shouldn't be seen like this!

"No! Don't come in here!" I cried out reactively. My voice cracked... Well, now she knew where I was... Great...

"A-are you in Papa's room..? I-I'm opening the door..."

"No!! Please don't..! P-please..!"

"W-what? Why?"

"I-I'm... It's... Just don't, please..!!"

Silence followed. Natsuki was right outside that door...

"I swear if Papa did something terrible to you I'm going to actually be miffed at everyone here... I'm opening the door."

"N-no, please..!"

The door opened...

Natsuki and I locked eyes. I was the first to look away. I could feel Natsuki's fury from here... I covered my chest and crossed my legs. 

"...S-sorry..."

"...S-Sayor....i..."

I closed my eyes in shame. I just wanted to stop existing... I heard footsteps run over to me.

"What the hell, he cuffed you to the bed?? Did he do what I think he did?!"

I didn't respond. I couldn't respond...

"...You... He..."

Natsuki started digging through the drawers, muttering stuff to herself. She pulled out something and gently grabbed my cuffed wrist.

I didn't resist. I couldn't.

A soft click and the cuff fell off. Natsuki gently rubbed my wrist. I could feel her shaking. I felt something wet splash against my arm... Was she crying..?

"I'm... I'm so sorry..." She murmured weakly. Why was Natsuki sorry..? She hasn't done anything wrong... Ever...

"I'm so sorry my demon of a father did this to you... I shouldn'tve let you go by yourself... I was greedy... I didn't want to get beat so early in the morning... But... I didn't think he'd stoop so low... I'm... I'm so sorry... I'm a terrible friend..."

"N-Natsuki..." I murmured. Hearing her blame herself for something she had no control over gave me some fire.

"You had nothing to do with this... You did nothing wrong... Don't blame yourself, please..."

"But I did! I could've prevented this! So! Many! Fucking! Times!! But what did I do?? I let it happen!"

"Natsuki please..."

"Fine! Fine, if you sincerely believe I didn't do anything wrong, then I'll just be mad in your stead instead!" She fumed. "Papa is a fucking...bitch! He's a goddamn piece of shit who shouldn't even have existed..!"

I frowned. Hearing his 'name' made me feel a bit uncomfortable... It was obvious she was still blaming herself but... She was far beyond my scope of influence now...

"Where... Where's he at right now anyways..?" I asked, trying to change the topic...

"Fucking.... Ugh, okay, he's... He's left for the bar. It's a bit past noon... I'm... I'm really sorry..."

"It's okay, Natsuki, you didn't do any-"

"It's not fucking fine!! It's obviously not fucking fine!! He just..! He just... Papa _raped_ you!!"

I winced, hearing the word come out of her mouth. She knew she struck a nerve and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.

"Look... We're doing something about this tonight. When he gets home. What happens happens. I don't care if we die, and I don't care if he dies, we're ending this _tonight_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I̸̧̮̰̠̗̰̥̖̘̗͘T͏̴̧̖̘̮̞̕'̴̧҉̶̢͓̪͖̞̖S̢̡̤̣̳̭͢͝ ̧̨̟͖̘̼̦̼̥͚̺͖̗͚̳̹͓̥̲̖̗̕͢͝A̷̢̞̗̦̣͔̣̞̦̺͚̱͔͉͜L̨͇̤̱͖̬͕̟͖͕̼͕͇͚̳͕̥͖͟ͅM̴̶̼̣̘̝̬O̱̝̗͚͈̭̦͘̕͟S̫̥̬̺̝̖̼̫̝͇̠̠͕͙̞̳̳͞T͉͓͙̬͙͉̯̝̗̲̖͢͝ͅ ̢̢͈̳̦̩̤̥͇̻̗͓͉̯͞T̷̲͔͕͚͘͢͝I̸̵̡̺̟͓̩̯̥̪͈M͖̩̹̙̞̱͖̪̣̗͉̝̻̞̕͟͡͞E͏̛̳̯̻̖̫̟̣̥͙̜̹͔̤̦̬̗ ͏̮̗̖͈̯͉͓̩͉̤̘̮ͅT̵̢̨̧̳͈̫͕̬͍̹̝̰͚̤̯͚̼Ơ̸̷͙̱̻̥̳̹͟ ̸̲͎͔̩̱͎̞̼̠̹͕͙̻͈̝͔̤͞ͅA̧̨̡̹͓̪͉͔C̴̹̯̟̣̰̦̩̤̥̼̮̦̺͕͔̠̠͖̕̕͡͠T**
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> O͈̣̝̩̪̞h̤̫̝̊̆͋̇̋̚h̿͐ͦ͗ͭ͋ͬ,̡̠ ͎̲ͮ̓͗ĩ̤̯̯̿s͍̈́̈ͥn̯̘̣̘̤̠͉̅'͢t̖͚̪̲̔̀ͬ̾ͦ͛ ̢͚̯͍͚͐dͧͨ̄ͩ͡a̮͇͕͕͈̯n̴͕̬ͣ̌ͦg͉̫͇̔̕e̜͙̙͖̫ͪṛ̟̮̈͛̄̚͢ͅ ̶͓͇͍̽͑a͗ͯnͤ̓d̝͚̼̠͓̬ͫ͋ͯͅ ͇̤ͭ̾̈̎ͪ́̊p̶̩̗̳͎̫̗̼ȇ͉͕̯̗̫̮͓̌͠r͇̈́̋͒ͤ̔͞i͚̩ͪ̽ͤ͛̄ͥ͆l̯̅͗͜ ̻̣̜̻̼͈ͪj̧̪̠͚̪̖̇͒ͤ̈͛͗u̖̮ṣ̴̦̜̯̫̒̎̓̑͑̐t͖͎͔̓͂̓̊ ̼̤̣̰̗͌̿ͬ͐̑̿̆r̵̥̺̥͓̖̈̑̉͂̐͐̉ͅi̝̼͡v̻̞͐e̡̬̥̰̪t͈̜̑͝i̧͕̝̮̯ͯñģ͕͍̦̔̒͊?̗̱͕̮̻͓̗ͯ͝?͈̫̠̹ͥ̂̆͑ͦͬͬ  
> ̨̲̞̹̜́ͧͩ̅~̛̪͕̣̭̙̯͑̄6͕͍̬̱̯̣ͫͬ̒̅̃͑4͕̮̝̜͓


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Honestly, a shower was just the thing I needed after something like... That. I needed to wash him off of me. Each and every single cell. Just thinking about him made me feel gross... Ugh, what a creep...

Natsuki was doing her darn best to make sure I was okay, constantly checking in on me, during my shower and when I was getting dressed. It was obvious she still felt responsible for what happened, and I had a big feeling nothing I say could change that.

I never did appreciate how clothes felt on my skin until now. Being covered... Actually felt reassuring. Of course, I still kind of wish I would've brought longer pants than... Y'know, shorts, but, they'll do for now.

I wore a baggy t-shirt and sweater for my tops, and ah, cloth had never felt so good...

"So, uhm... How're... How're you feeling right now..?" Natsuki asked, fidgeting with her skirt as she sat on her bed, next to me, keeping ample distance between us. She was really making sure I was okay... Though she probably wouldn't admit it, hehe...

"I'm...doing better. Thank you." I murmured in reply, taking a deep breath. "When you said everything ends tonight... You're... Sure.. About this..?"

"Fuck the hell, yeah I am! After what Papa did to you... I ain't... I ain't gonna tolerate any more of his bullshit. Not anymore! One way or another, we're gonna end it all tonight!"

Her determination was almost infectious. Almost. I still felt extremely wary about confronting this guy... He's already proven he's stronger than probably the both of us combined... I... Don't want to think about it right now... But maybe with Natsuki at my side this time, with ample strategy, maybe we could tip the scales...

"O...kay...I'm... I'm with you, but... What should we do..? We should probably try and plan something..."

"Yeah, good idea... You play that Fire whatever game, you got any smart strategies?"

"Natsuki, real life can't be as predictable as a video game..."

"Well, yeah, I knew that! But like, you have a better mind for strategy than I do, sooo..."

"...Well...uh...we can wander around the house freely until... He gets home, right?"

"Yeah, you wanna head downstairs to try and work something out..?"

I just nodded, and Natsuki hopped up giving me a wide smile that I'm sure was to just cheer me up. It worked, kinda. Seeing Natsuki smile was kind of a rare sight to begin with... And she's really cute when she smiles...

As we got up and left I glanced at the time. It was 1:50 PM.

"So, uh, when does uh... He come home usually..?"

"Uhm... Like... 5:30..? 6? We got plenty of time."

So, a little under 4 hours... I... Guess that's plenty...

We made it downstairs and I took in the sight. The front door was next to the stairs and from the door, left was the TV room, and beyond that, the kitchen... Right from the front door just led to the kitchen directly. Hmm...

"Well, what's the objective here anyways..? Knock him out..? Kill him?"

Honestly... I kinda wanted the latter. Someone like him... I never thought I'd will death on someone, but... He's the first, so... Congrats on being the scum of the earth, big guy...

Natsuki hesitated and shrugged "I dunno, just...subdue him? I don't know!"

"...Okay, uh... Mmh... Maybe if you can distract him in the TV room, I might be able to smack him with uhh... Iunno, a rolling pin?"

"Oh, really? That sounds pretty funny actually."

"Does it..? I... I could try and think of something better..."

"Nah, don't sweat it, we'll try that." Natsuki gave a casual hand wave. Something told me she was still pretty nervous about it.

"So, uhh... What do you do to pass a little less than 4 hours of time..?" I asked, sitting down at the counter in the kitchen. Speaking of, I just realized how famished I was... Was this how hungry Natsuki was all the time..? My stomach growled a bit to convey the message to Natsuki who glanced over and giggled softly. 

"Well, I can see if I can whip something up to eat. Maybe Papa left us some things to snack on..." She replied, digging into the fridge. Just... Hearing 'Papa' gave me goosebumps...

"C-could I help?"

"Naw, I'm treating you right now!"

"...I... Okay..."

I had the feeling she was doing this because she felt the need to take care of me, but I'm fine! I can take care of myself... Well... Mostly...

"Mmhhh... How do you feel about turkey sandwiches..? Cause... That's all I'm pretty sure I can make with this..."

"Yeah, that's fine!"

Both of us were silent while Natsuki got to work making us our food.

"...Is there something on your mind..? You usually like to chat a bunch." I piped up, feeling a bit concerned for my friend.

"N-no, I... Well..." Natsuki paused, musing over some things in her head. "Y'want Mayo..?"

"I uh... Just a bit, thank you."

"...Well...it's about uh... What we did last night..."

I thought a bit... Uh... We snacked a bunch...then we... Oh...

"...Our...little moment..?"

"I... Guess you could say that."

"What's gotten you hung up about that?"

"I-It's... Ugh, gosh, this is..." She sighed "I just feel really bad... Knowing that... I did that... Then Papa does... What he did..." She muttered, lazily spreading some mayonnaise on some bread.

"...You feel like you're just like him..?"

Natsuki nodded shamefully.

"Natsuki... You're... Nothing like... Like him. Trust me... I really enjoy being around you, I really do..!"

"B-but... He did what I did..!"

"No, no he didn't! You didn't touch me in awkward places, and you asked for permission! I wanted... I... I was okay with kissing you..." I frowned, my mind giving me some flashbacks to what had happened... Ugh, I just want to forget that happened... 

"...You were okay with me..?"

"Yes, Natsuki, I really was. I wasn't okay with...Yeah, but you, you did absolutely nothing wrong."

Natsuki didn't reply, just focusing on the sandwiches right now. After a bit she finished and set a plate in front of me gently.

"Thank you, Suki..!" I chimed, trying to cheer her up now... It was a bit eye opening, how much we needed each other actually.

I needed support, Natsuki needed support... We could support each other and grow together... Gah, there I go again...

I took a bite out of the sandwich Natsuki made me and hoho, it was so **good**!!! I don't know how she makes something as mundane as a sandwich taste so delicious, but she's gone and done it!

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Totally! I don't know how you make a sandwich this good, but like, if any sandwich was going to be offered to deities, I think yours would be the best!"

"That's... A really weird compliment, but, heheh, thanks, I guess."

"There! You laughed!"

Natsuki gave an amused huff and took a bite of her own sandwich.

"Hey, Sayori..?"

"Mmhmm?"

"...I really am sorry for all that's happened these few days... But... Also, thanks for looking out for me. I guess... I just felt like I needed to just... Let you know I appreciate everything you've done. For the club, and for me..." She murmured, staring at her sandwich.

I couldn't help but smile. "It's a bit hard sometimes, yeah. And it's going to get even harder, I guess, but... I'm happy you really feel that way. When you're around, I really feel like I could take on anything... Not without difficulty, but together... I... Kinda really feel like I'm just so...blessed, I guess, haha."

Natsuki and I chatted back and forth. It was refreshing to just... Forget about the bad things and just spend time with someone who matters a bit more than most other people... I still did have those stupid feelings for her, but... After what happened, I don't know how to feel about anything...

The front door opened. Both of us froze...

He was back? Early??

Luckily, the guy didn't even glance in the kitchen, heading straight upstairs...

Natsuki and I stared at each other. We both felt the same doom on our shoulders...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

"NATSUKI YOU LITTLE SQUIRREL, GET UP HERE RIGHT NOW."

Natsuki shifted uneasily. I gently grabbed her hand reassuringly.

"Stay down here... We'll face him together. Please... Don't let him separate us..." I begged to her. If we were divided, we were helpless, but together, maybe something could happen...

Natsuki swallowed nervously and nodded, standing up and staking a stance near me as we waited for him to come stomping down the stairs. Natsuki gripped my hand tighter to try and reassure me a little more. With her next to me...

Stomp.

Stomp.

Stomp.

Here comes doom...

"Sayori! I had told you to stay in the bed room! Why did you have to go and leave!? I thought you were a good girl!!"  
I wanted to throw up... Good girl has been a ruined compliment since a while ago... I felt ungodly fear boiling in my stomach, I just wanted to run, but Natsuki... I felt a more primal instinct to stay and fight... 

"Natsuki's my best friend. A-and neither of us are your play things! Not anymore!" I proclaimed with a shaky voice.

"I-I'm... I'm tired of your shit, Papa!" Natsuki piped up bravely. She had stronger guts than I did that's for sure...

"Oh, oh so that's how it's going to be huh?" He sneered, pulling out... A... Gun... A Pistol... Where'd he get that?!? Natsuki reactively took a step back. I don't know why but I took a step in front of her...

"Y-You wouldn't..." My heart was racing... Everything about this situation felt a bit... Like deja vu...

A loud bang rang out and a random cupboard behind us was destroyed... My head was spinning the loud bang was so disorienting... He... He wouldn't...

"Oh, I can, and will, you little whore..! Now, you go back upstairs and take off your clothes before I drive this next shot into Natsuki's dome!"

I think Natsuki's fight or flight response kicked in. She burst forward and rammed her fist into his gut.

Papa backed off, dropping the Pistol, the wind obviously knocked out of him but he recovered quickly with a grapple at Natsuki's hair.

I don't know why, but I couldn't move. It's like I was stuck in the headlights... Like... I can't just... Move... I could only watch as he responded with a punch to Natsuki's gut, slamming her head into the wall afterwards... Oh goodness... No...

Natsuki collapsed to the ground... I don't know if she was conscious or if she was out cold, but... Papa turned to me...

I was pinned... Against the counter....

The knife...

My dream!! The knife, that knife!!

I glanced to my side and saw a plain old kitchen knife, just sitting there... When did that get..? Natsuki didn't use it... Whatever, it's my only way to defend myself now..!

I grabbed it, the blade shining with deadly potential. Papa pointed the Pistol at me, approaching quickly...

"Drop the knife, whore."

I didn't... I just at him, gripping the knife in both my hands...

He got up to me, planted the barrel of the gun into my forehead. It was already a bit hot from that first shot earlier.... He... He wouldn't...

He totally would...

"Drop. The. Knife..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> __  
> **I̵̡̹͉̥͔͓̼̻̬͓̺̰͍̬̭͚̒́̒̍͜T̅̑͆́̄͢͢҉̞͍͈̼̩̜̘̫͙̠̤̙ͅ ̵̛͍̝͓̱͎̰̪̬͎͍̻̭̜͋̃͋ͮ̉̂ͭ̐I̍ͦͨ̍̃͂̔͐̑̅͋ͫ͛̆̇̉̐̅͡҉̛̤͚̭̰̱̭̹Sͤ̇̔̃̐ͪ̉ͩ̓͒̐͏͉͈̲͕̦̟̘͚̺̰̞̫̱͞ ̵̡̣͙̼̹͓͈̟̣͓̳͔̳̮͙̺̿̔ͥ̌ͬ̓̔ͩ͌ͤ̈́͂ͮͮ̇̏̍͜͞T̶̵̛̙͚͍͚̝̙͓̳̦̜̫̙͙̂͒ͤ͒́ͥͤ͗ͯͮ̋I̡̨͇̹̘̹̜̺̣͓̳͉͓̗̗͍ͤͬ̆̊ͯ͢M̸̸̦͉͎̼̥͍̝͖̜̥͑͋̈́̂ͭͦ̌̆͐̉͂͂Ěͧͥ̓͒ͪͦ̌̍̈́̅͑̈́͐̋̅͛̚͝҉̰͖͔̯̘͙̰̙̻̠̺̰͈͔͖̥͚͍͟͡ ̵̵̡̢̺͕͓͎͍̈́̀̔̋̎̔̉͒̇͐ͧ͐̚͘T͈̜̟̫͎̹̼̰̝̩̥̜̠̝́̈́̿͆͛̏̄̂͑ͬ͂͌̅ͮ͊̽͐̿͆͠ͅO͖̦̗͚̖̪̦̩ͦ͒ͧ̐ͮͣ͗͛̚͞͞ ̷̺̥̣̲̘̗͖̪̬̮͎̲̙̊͆̿ͯ͘ͅA̧̖͚̻̘̭͓͙̬ͬͪ̃̈́̎̿͗ͮ͌̔ͬ̐͛̉͞C̷̵̨͖̩̰̣͉͋̓ͮ́̾̂͋̈ͣ̓̊̅ͣͯ͜͝T̤͔͙̭͔̭͓̫͕̬͕͉͎̫̱͑̓̽͒͗͜**  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> _**http://www.strawpoll.me/14913366** _


	20. C͟hapter͘ ̨20͞

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW// Blood and Violence and stuff. Yeah.**
> 
>  
> 
> Hey, uh, this... Okay, Yo, hi!
> 
> I'm kinda really overwhelmed with how many of you voted last chapter like, holy heck, I was expecting maybe 10 or so?
> 
> Naw, over 100 of you all out here voted for an action, and I'm just... I'm so happy you all enjoy this fic enough to help influence how it changes...
> 
> Remember, this fic is only as large as it is because you all helped it get here.
> 
> So, please, give yourselves a big warm hug for me, yeah?
> 
> I'll do my very best to keep delivering chapter after chapter for you all!

I blinked.

One moment, I was fearing for my life, the next, all I saw was... Just... Red...

Like, actually, I thought the whole 'Seeing Red' thing when you're like, pissed off was just a literary trope, but no, literally... Uh... Wow.

What happened next felt like... It wasn't me... Like, I was me body, yeah, but... It was like I had been compelled to do something... By someone..? I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to do this if it was actually me.

I rose my free hand, my right hand, and slapped the Pistol aside with incredible agility. My left hand flipped the knife into a.. Uh... Reverse grip..? Like, the blade was where my pinky was, instead of where my index finger was... That make sense..? I... Whatever.

I rose the blade. I could see Papa's expression... He was surprised. My right ear started ringing. I think he shot again...

Oh, haha, I uh, I hadn't been paying attention to my knee cause it rammed against his crotch. That little thing down there deserved it, I swear. Ugh, gross...

Papa buckled, his eyes bulging from the pain. They better be... 

By now, the knife was high above my head, and I saw a clear line of attack to...

The back of his neck.

I clenched my eyes shut and plunged the blade down.

My left hand got showered in... Warm... Liquid... I think I heard Papa scream..? Could he scream..? I don't know... I didn't want to look... I... **REALLY** didn't want to look.

Could a blade to the back of the neck kill? With my knowledge, it probably definitely would greatly incapacitate him, disable him... But uh... Could it kill...? Maybe if I hit his windpipe or something...

It's kinda funny, even though I jammed a kitchen knife into this devil's neck, I still had no idea if I wanted him dead or not... Indecisive little me... Ugh...

The floor rumbled. I could easily assume that was Papa hitting the ground.

I made an accident and cracked open my eyes...

There was blood everywhere... Well, okay, not _everywhere_ but it was... There was a lot in my general vicinity. My left hand was covered in the stuff. I wanted to throw up. Seeing this much blood made me feel a bit dizzy, even though I'm pretty sure none of this was mine... Was any of it mine..? I'm... Pretty sure I'm just fine, but...

My lungs kicked into overdrive, my heart was racing a bit faster than what I'd deem healthy... Gosh, okay, get a hold of yourself, Sayori, you can't faint now... Natsuki... Yeah, Natsuki!! Was she okay??

I glanced over to where I remember her being. She was still on the ground... Oh no... Nonono, please...

I hopped over the Papa on the floor who I think was groaning in pain, I'm not too sure, I wouldn't trust my brain with anything right now, I'm just... So ramped up with adrenaline that I'm sure I'm probably hallucinating a bit...

I made it over to Natsuki with a few dizzy stumbles and collapsed near her body, please, please be alive, Natsuki, I... I don't know what I'd do without you.... Please...

I jammed a finger against her neck, hoping to find something that could tell me she's still with us... She still felt warm so, uh, good start...

A pulse..? A pulse! I could feel her heartbeat! It was weak, yeah, but it was there! I watched her chest and yeah, she was breathing just fine too! Her face didn't look nice though, where was blood streaming from her forehead... Oh goodness, uhh...

Thank gosh I watched those seemingly useless documentaries, haha! I tore off a part of my sweater with a bit of difficulty and wrapped it tightly around Natsuki's head to try and take care of the bleeding...

I wasn't by any stretch of imagination a qualified Paramedic, but Natsuki's... She's my best friend and the item of my affection, I can't just leave her like this..!

The front door made a loud noise. I glanced at it... It was still shut...

Oh never mind, Monika just shoulder bashed the thing open...

Wait, Monika?!? Yuri was behind her too!!

They stared at the mess in this house, and I just kinda... Laughed nervously... I'm pretty sure that they'd think I'm some psycho now...

"U-Uh... Hey... Girls..?"

"S-Sayori..?! What...?? What the _**FUCK**_ happened?!? Is Natsuki okay?!"

I glanced toward where I... Uh... Stabbed... Yes, stabbed Papa... I'm still trying to wrap my head around just that... I couldn't see him because he was collapsed behind the counter, but... Uh, there was blood over there...

"I-It's kind of a long story, girls... Uh... I... I didn't hurt Natsuki though, please trust me..!"

"...I...I know you wouldn't... But..." Monika, glanced in the direction of the kitchen and I think she got a glimpse of the blood... Cause... Uh, she kinda turned pale... "Can... Uh, could I come in real quick..?"

"U-Uh... Yeah, sure... I'm.. I'm pretty sure the cops will show up soon anyways..."

Oh goodness what would they do...? What would they think I did..? What I did was completely justified right..??

Monika wandered in and headed towards the kitchen... She returned promptly, hands over her mouth. Yuri's curiousity got the better of her and she moved to get an eyeful of what Monika had just seen.

"S-Sayo...What...What happened here?" Monika asked, her tone weak... I'd understand, I wanted to pass out in all honesty, but I had to stay awake. For my friends... I felt like my head was swimming with...like, an entire school of fish, I was not... Going to manage to stay awake much longer... Oh gosh...

"U-Uh, haha... P-Papa did some... Uh.. Really bad things... I... I only did what I could... A-and frankly I think he... Deserved... It..."

Darkness... Sweet sweet darkness...

...

...

...

...

I wonder what the other girls are doing now... Did the cops show up..? Gun shots usually call for cops...

How did the other girls even come across the house first..? I wasn't expecting Monika of all people to bust down that door... Well, she was pretty athletic and really smart... If anyone could do it, I guess it would be her.

...

...

How was Natsuki doing..? Hopefully that jerry rigged bandage I made was enough...

...

...

I was... Uh, in my kitchen. Mine. Not Natsuki's... I felt... Older..? Some food was cooking... Oh right! Pancakes!!

I went about to cooking the food, humming to myself. I felt really happy today!! Though for some reason, the knives... Just looking at them made me shiver a bit... But whatever! I didn't need sharp knives to make PANCAKES!!

Oh, someone was coming downstairs..? I glanced over my shoulder. Oh, Natsuki~! The love of my life..!

"Goodmorning, Cupcake!!" I chimed happily, giving a wave with the spatula I was using! Natsuki gave a tired wave back. She usually was at least kind of a morning person... Did she not get a lot of sleep last night..?

"Hey, sweetie... Did you remember to take your meds..?"

I nodded with a hum.

"Not too energetic today? Didn't get much sleep last night?"

"No, I just... Kinda had a bad dream is all."

"Aww! C'mere!!"

"Wha-No!" Natsuki sounded a bit playful..!

"Yes!! I'm gonna kiss your nightmares away!!"

"H-hey, worry about the pancakes!"

"No! You're more important!!"

I chased her around the house for a little while. I felt... Content. Happy... Why was this so... Overwhelming..?

I finally caught her by lunging and I pinned her to the couch, showering my cute, beautiful girlfriend with her much deserved kisses!!

We shared a few on the lips too... It was... Nice. Really nice... My heart was soaring...

"S-Sayo..? You're crying..."

"I'm... I'm just so happy you're my girlfriend..! I love you too much!" I responded, moving to wipe my tears off my face, but Natsuki stopped me, instead kissing each and every one of my tears off my face... She... Aha, I love her so much...

I love her.  
I love my girlfriend...

I love Natsuki..!!

...

...

I cracked open my eyes... Ugh... Bright lights everywhere... Just... Dissappear, my head hurts... My everything hurts... Hmm... Did I hear a heart monitor..?

I heard some voices too... Uhm... Monika, Yuri... Natsuki..! She's alive..! And awake..?!

Ugh, why does it have to be so bright... I decided to lay there and eavesdrop a bit...

"And well, uh, yeah, that's the scoop... I think... I don't know what happened after cause I was well... Y'know, out cold but..." That was Natsuki...

"Natsuki... Honestly, I had a small idea that something was going on, but I didn't know it was that bad... You know you don't have to bottle everything up when you're with us... Right..?" Monika spoke up with a concerned tone.

"You know that the literature club is here for all of us, including you, Natsuki. Please don't be afraid to confide in us..." Yuri added.

"Yeah, yeah, I know... It was just... I felt it was my problem, so I could just handle it myself. But Sayori, she... She helped change my mind on a few things... Especially after... N-never mind... I don't think she's ready to talk about it...not yet."

"After..? I... I guess I won't pry, but..."

"The authorities did come to the conclusion that Sayori was the one who drove that knife into your father's neck." Yuri spoke up softly. I tensed up... Great... "She would never do such a thing, and before she passed out, she said he deserved it too... I don't know what happens in your house when we're not around, but I'm happy that it's all out in the open now. I just feel terrible that we hadn't found out sooner."

"I didn't want you all to find out sooner... I was... Too cooped up trying to be tough... But... I think I learned my lesson."

"That's good at least." Monika agreed.

"Hey, uh... How is P-pa... My... Father, how is he doing..?"

"The doctors said he's probably going to be disabled from his neck down for the rest of his life." Monika sighed. I heard a chair shift. "I know court is going to finish in your favor, but... I hope Sayori can deal with what happened... I just saw the aftermath and I wanted to hurl... I can only imagine how she feels..."

I could feel their gaze on me...

"She's been out cold for a while now... Do you think she's really okay..? You think she would've woken up by now..." Yuri added.

"Hey, Sayori's a tough gal, tougher than me! She'll manage, I'm sure of it. I'll make sure she does."

"Oh, you actually said Sayori's tougher than you? She really must be something special for you to admit that." Monika teased. I could literally hear Natsuki cross her arms, heheh, she's cute...

"Wait, did Sayori just giggle..?"

...Uh... Heck...

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake, sorry girls... I've been listening in a bit... It's too bright in here..." I admitted, giving a small wave in the direction of the voices.

"I-I only said you're tougher than me cause Papa did that one thing... And... You still manage to smile..!" Natsuki piped up defensively. I felt my gut churn a bit...

"P-please don't mention it... I don't want to think about it right now. I'm just happy it's all coming to an end." I murmured, shifting in my bed uncomfortably.

"O-oh, right... My bad.... Sorry."

"It's okay..! I still love you!" I piped cheerfully, instantly regretting what I said

"A-as a friend, right..?!"

"...W-why does that matter..?" I added, wondering why I was insisting on this... She was just... So perfect, so fierce... I was head over heels for her honestly....

"...L-look, Sayori, we can talk about this later... In private, okay?" Natsuki stammered. She's cute when she's flustered...

"Do... Do you want us to leave..?" Monika asked, a bit of a giggle coming from her throat.

"No, please, stay! I'm sure we both enjoy the company..!" I piped up. "Hey, quick question though, how did you find us..?"

"Oh, Yuri and I were taking a walk around town talking about that uhh... Portrait of Markov..?"

Yuri hummed in agreement.

"Right, the Portrait of Markov. Anyways we were just walking when we heard a gunshot from a house behind us! We stopped and backtracked a bit, looking for the house it came from..!"

"You did. I wanted to get out of there." Yuri corrected. I heard Natsuki stifle a giggle.

"Yeah, well, anyways, a second shot rang out and we pinpointed the house, the front door was locked, I heard a faint 'drop the knife' or whatever. Yuri was getting really antsy and I really needed to know what was going on, especially after I heard some dude scream in pain, so I uh... I busted the door down..! And there you were..!"

"Yeah... Huh... Yeah, okay." I replied, not really wanting to think about what I did to him.

"Paralyzed for life though..?" I murmured... "I don't know what exactly I wanted but... I guess I'm okay with that. I wasn't sure I wanted to kill him in the first place..."

"The fact that you even thought about killing him is surprising for me." Monika murmured. Yuri hummed in agreement.

"W-well... He... He's a really bad man... I... I don't want to consider him human even... I'd tell you what he did, but... I'm not ready... Not yet..."

"Well...when you are, we'll more than ready to listen." Yuri piped up.

What did I do to deserve such good friends..?

"...Hey, Sayori?"

"Yes, Natsuki?"

"...Thanks...again...I mean it."

"Don't worry...It's all over now."

It was all over... Righ͢t.͡.?/p>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm just gonna pop in here to let you know that we're free of the angst stint for a while. I haven't planned much farther than this little arc, which is coming to a close soon.
> 
> We'll see what happens, but uh, after these next few chapters, this fic may or may not be officially 'completed'. If you all wanna help me out with ideas, feel free to throw them down below or at my Tumblr which I'll link below, but, uh, yeah, this has been one hell of a ride. I'm really happy I could have shared this with all of you.
> 
> Don't worry just yet, there'll be a chapter tomorrow! But uh, I'm just letting you all know that Depression Naps itself may be ending soon, but that doesn't say that I'll stop writing altogether. Maybe like some fluff stories about life after the events in this fic? Maybe.
> 
> Gah, I'm rambling, sorry!
> 
> Here's my Tumblr if any of you be interested in that sorta thing.  
> www.that-one-gaymer.tumblr.com
> 
>  
> 
> Hmm̸m͜.͏..̨well͞, t̷hat҉ ͏was͞n͞'t ͟s̢u͞pp̡os͟e̸d͜ ͜t͜o͠ h͢app͞en.͘.̷. ͝I ҉won͠d͠e͏r h̷ow ̸it ca̴me ͝to͢ ͞b͞e...


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to a handful of you, I have a few plans on where to take this fic now. So, uh, congrats on prolonging the life of this fic. For the second time, haha! Keep sending in ideas though, I'd love to see what comes up! 
> 
> This was a really wholesome chapter for me to whip up, I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Oh yeah! We hit 4k+ hits last night as well! That's a whole lot more people than I was expecting to find this fic interesting, so, yaya, let's all enjoy this fic together!!

"Gosh, that judge was so fucking cool, haha!"

"Yeah, I know! That sentencing line was literally the best thing I've ever heard!"

"Hearing her sentence him just... Gosh, it made me so relieved..."

"Yeah, yeah, same! All 'Well then, Papa, it's my honor and privilege to sentence you today because you, frankly, do not deserve another step free from prison.' or something like that!"

"Yeah! I'm really happy Sayori didn't get anything bad either. You really saved both of our behinds back then..!"

"I... I guess I did, haha!"

"But uh, I'm gonna be living with Sayori now, that was the plan, right?"

"Yes, as far as I remember."

"Yep! Yuri's right!"

"Yup! Moni and Yuri are on the money! It's gonna be fun finally having someone to share all that space with! It does get pretty awkwardly lonely by myself..!"

"I... Gosh, Sayori, you're the best!"

"E-ehee, I'm just doing what I can for a friend..!"

"Well am I glad to be your friend..!"

The literature club walked out of the court building, moods high and spirits higher. During that entire thing, I'll admit, I was like, sweating literal bullets, like, I could not be more nervous, but, gosh, am I glad that's over.

No doubt the entire town would know about this. The school shut down for a few days due to the civil unrest from the gunfire too, taking the safe route, but... I'm honestly not looking forward to heading back to school. I think we got like, 2 days left.

I still haven't opened up about what happened. Luckily the judge was already convinced that the man deserved more than a lengthy sentence for what he's already done, so I didn't need to during court... In front of everyone... But I kinda did really want to talk about it... Get it off my chest and all... But, right now, I'm going to focus on recovering. Getting better.

Natsuki was doing pretty well too. She healed pretty quickly from that concussion she got and now was just wearing just a few bandages around her head to make sure everything heals flawlessly. That, and I feel like she likes wearing the bandages. It makes her look tough, especially since it's covering one of her eyes. She just looked cuter honestly...

Seeing those bandages made me rub my neck too. The doctors kinda... Well, it didn't take a genius to look at my bruises and figure out what I tried to do. They were mostly healed but the doctors gave me some bandages too around me neck. They were a bit tight and made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but... They said it'd heal, so... 

The day passed quickly at my place. The entire club decided to hang out until evening and Monika finally beat that one game she's been trying to best since like, last week or so.

Both her and Yuri headed off to their own houses, both saying that they were gonna fetch some stuff, cause we all decided to have a massive impromptu sleep over like, literally 5 minutes ago. We all shared a massive dinner of Chinese Take Out, so heck yes, yummy food! And not slightly crummy hospital mush... Natsuki ate like, half our entire order, which is both to be expected, but surprising nonetheless.

Natsuki was laying on the couch now, groaning in pain as she... Probably ate way too fast. What a goober, hehe..!

"Feeling alright?" I asked, peeking over the back of the couch, finishing off some noodles.

Natsuki just grunted and shook her head. She wasn't afraid to be vulnerable near me... I guess that's one of her trademark signs of trust, knowing her.

I just giggled softly and moved around the couch, sitting down on the floor in front of her, leaning back against the piece of furniture.

"Hey, Sayori..?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember... When you put in that silly little dating puzzle game thing..?"

"O-oh, and you teased me about being gay?"

At least I knew I was actually gay now... A lesbian.

"Yeah, uh, yeah."

"Ehe, okay, what's it about?"

"W-well, uh... It's just that... Are..? Are you actually..?"

"I... I'm pretty sure I am, honestly, haha. Remember when I uh... N-never mind"

"No, go on, I don't mind your preference at all!"

"...Remember when I confessed to you? In the middle of the street, on our way back home after you smoked that cashier?"

"Oh! Oh yeah!"

"Yeah, hehe, I uh... I was kinda uh... Being legit back there..."

"Oh, nono, I know that, it's just... How... How can you tell if you like another girl..?"

"...That's... Kinda a weird question to answer, Suki, but, uh..." I giggled a bit. I was a bit curious why she was so... Curious about what it was like being a lesbian...

"I know it's a weird question but uh, I gotta know! I'm curious..!"

"I-It's fine! I'm just surprised you are. I kinda expected you to like, be grossed out at me or something"

"No, I'd never! Just... C'mon, answer the question"

"Wellllll... It's like..." I just thought about how I feel when I look at Natsuki... Cause... She's really the only one I... _like liked_. "It's like... Whenever I look at a girl I like, I get... Really giddy, like, I'm really happy just to be uh, like, even just see her, like, she's super cute and stuff all the time! And like, my heart decides it has wings all of a sudden, and I just... Want nothing more than to hold hands and... Yeah..."

"I... Never thought I'd see you blush this much, Sayori..."

"H-hush! This is kinda embarrassing and sappy!"

"Heh, that's like something I'd say."

"I-Is it..? Oh I guess it is..."

I guess I accidentally picked up one of Natsuki's little quirks... Maybe...

"Thanks for telling me though, I'm... Busy sifting through some of my own things and hearing that helped me out a lot."

"I... Of course..!" I chimed happily. Gosh, I really needed to kill this crush for Natsuki... I can't just fawn over her 24/7, especially now since we're living together...

The door burst open and Monika was there, a bag full of... Stuff hanging from her shoulder.

"I'm back you two!"

"Hey Moni! Yuri with you?"

"No, she should be here soon though" The club president replied, sitting down next to us. "So, you two talk about anything juicy while you were alone?"

"M-Moni, no!" I whined, gently pushing her away playfully. We all giggled

"Sayori told me her deepest secret!"

"I-I did not! What I told you isn't even that big of a secret! You don't know my biggest secret!"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I do!"

"I... Okay, yeah, maybe you do... But not because I told you! Please don't mention it again though!"

"...I wasn't talking about that!"

"Oh you weren't?!"

"Gosh, you two sound like your dating" Monika joked. I felt my face ignite and Natsuki started blushing too...

Before either of us could berate her though, Yuri popped open the door and closed it behind her, locking it.

"I-I'm back!" She chimed softly.

"Hey Yuri!" Monika chimed back, obviously smug she managed to get away with what she said. Gosh, she's a goober too...

With all 4 of us present, we all chatted and joked for a while. It was starting to get late when Natsumi randomly piped up. 

"Hey, Prez, T or D?"

"T or D??" Monika repeated, giggling.

"Just choose!!"

"Uhh...T..?"

"Ooookayy, uhh Monika, Coke or Pepsi?"

"...Wait, we're playing Truth or Dare?!"

"Answer the question~!"

"I...I prefer Coke, but Pepsi is just as good..." She gave a primarily neutral answer. At least she did answer it...

"Yuri, you in with us..?" Monika asked

"O-oh uhh... P-pass..?"

"Aw, C'mon, it's funner with more people!" Natsuki whined

"You don't have to if you don't want to though!" I added. Yuri really didn't seem like the kind of person to play Truth or Dare in the first place. 

"I... I'll join" 

"Yes!" 

"Okay, just know you can opt out whenever you feel uncomfortable, alright?" Monika made sure Yuri would feel alright with joining us in this... Compromising party game. 

"Alright."

"Okay Yuri. Truth or Dare?"

"U-uhmm, T-truth..!"

"Mmmhh... Okay... Is Manga Literature?"

"Wha-Hey! Manga IS literature!!"

"Hey, hey, this is Yuri's question!"

"Monikaaaa!!" Natsuki whined. I gently rubbed her back to try and calm her down. She just huffed and crossed her arms.

"I mean... They're just comic books right..?" Yuri asked. Monika nodded. Natsuki was fuming. "But they do have words, and rule number one of the club is never judge a book by its cover so... I guess... As childish as it is, it still qualifies as literature."

"Yes! Yes!! In your FACE Monika!!"

"That's a fair point, okay. Calm down Natsuki." The president took the answer in stride, smiling happily at us.

"U-uhmm, I ask Sayori now, right?" Yuri asked.

"Technically, you could ask anyone." I replied, giving a shrug. I just enjoyed spending time with my friends, I didn't really mind if I got called on or not.

"Oh, okay, uhhmm... Natsuki, Truth or Dare?"

"Everyone here so far picked Truth, cause you're all weak!"

"Hey, I didn't even get asked yet so you can't berate me!" I laughed.

"Nevertheless, I am no weakling! Dare! Hit me with a dare, Yuri!"

"Oh uhh... I... I dare you to... Uhmm... Read the Portrait of Markov?"

"...I...really..?"

"Well, the dare's been issued, do you have the book on you, Yuri?"

"Yes, it's in my bag, let me go get it!"

"Wait wait wait! Reading that book will take me forever! Do I have to do it now?!"

"Mmmmh...No, but I want to talk about it come club time when School starts again, so you have until then." Yuri replied, coming back with the book in hand, giving it to Natsuki. It was obvious she didn't like that eye on the cover... Or the idea of reading that book in general.

"I thought you were no weakling, Natsuki" Monika teased.

"What?! Hell no I'm not! I'm gonna read this book so hard, you just wait!" She declared, setting the book on the couch cushion. "Now! Sayori! Truth or Dare?!"

"I aha...you know what..? Dare. I'm feeling dangerous."

"Dare? Oh gosh, I was expecting you to pick truth, I had everything planned out and everything... Ugh... Uhh..." Natsuki scratched her cheek trying to think of something.

"I... I Dunno, Kiss someone!"

"...Uh...come again?"

"Did I stutter? Kiss someone! Anyone! ....What!? It was the first thing that came to my mind!"

Natsuki was blushing again, heheh... Okayyy, kiss someone... Uhh...

I had a small devilish idea and reached over, grabbing Monika's hand and kissing the back of it. Monika blushed a bit, giggling. I could hear Yuri giggling too. Natsuki looked a tiny bit upset.

"You didn't specify where or who, so..."

"I know what I did!!"

"Alllright, uh... Monika! Truth or Dare?"

The president had quickly gotten over her flustered state and thought a bit to herself.

"Mmm... Truth." She replied.

"Wow, softie." Natsuki muttered, her arms crossed. Was she jealous..? Monika just stuck her tongue out at Natsuki playfully. My friends... Gosh, I wouldn't trade them for the world... 

"Okayyy, uhh... Between the three of us, which girl would you trust to have your back if you were stuck on an abandoned tropical island?"

"Ohhh, good one" Yuri piped up.

"Ohh, uhh... Hmm... Each and every one of you have your pros and cons to surviving with." She replied, her voice calculated, though she was obviously having fun. "I'd say Sayori, cause I remember seeing you watch those weird survival in the wild documentaries. You watch a lot of documentaries in general. I think you'd be the most handy."

"Oh, me?? I just watch a lot of those cause I may as well learn something while I just lazing about, y'know haha... Thanks though, I guess." I laughed. I really didn't feel like I'd be the best choice. Probably Natsuki would've been my choice. She inspires me to get up and get stuff done, and she is the person I turn to if I want stuff done right... And not because I have a crush on her and spending time with her on a tropical island sounds like one heck of a romantic date... Hmm... No, no, keep the gay under control, Sayori...

The night continued on late into early morning. The game of Truth or Dare had revealed some things about us that I hadn't known before. Namely, Monika was bi, we all knew that, but she leaned more towards gals? Like, I didn't know that, but that was interesting. Another thing we learned is that uh, the entire club is not straight. At all. Monika's bi, I'm gay, Yuri's bi, and Natsuki took a bit to admit that she probably likes girls too, but she's still not sure yet. I'd like to think she is... Probably cause then I might be able to kiss her more...

I remember that night we kissed... It was... A really REALLY fond memory. Probably the only happy memory I had of her place... Ugh, am I glad that _He's_ both paralyzed and in jail... And I'm happy I didn't end up killing him either, but... Still knives made me flinch a bit. Just a bit.

Yuri was the first to konk out though. Once we all noticed she was asleep, we all agreed that it was probably a good time to call it for the night. I think it was like... 1 or 2 in the morning. Monika and Natsuki worked together to get Yuri into a more comfortable position at least and I just headed upstairs, kinda... Surprised at how I'm still managing to stay awake. Like, I just realized how tired I am...

I started to get dressed into my pj's when someone knocked on my bedroom door. I quickly slipped on the rest of my sleep clothes and cracked open the door to find Natsuki. She was blushing... Heavily. 

"Hey, uh, so, Yuri and Monika are both sleeping down there and I... Don't know where else to sleep, so could... Could we share the bed..? Your bed I mean..?"

"Oh, oh yeah, sure!" I chimed, opening the door more to let her in.

It took us a bit to get comfortable, especially since my bed was... Yeah, it was smaller than Natsuki's, but we eventually found spots that were comfortable and didn't invade on the other's personal space somehow.

I couldn't sleep though...

"...Hey, Sayori, you still awake..?"

"Uh, yeah... What's up?"

"Could... Could we... Do it again?"

"... Do what..?"

"Y'know... Uh..." She mumbled something too quiet for me to hear.

"...Sorry, what?"

"I-I want to kiss again! Geez! Always have to make me say embarrassing stuff huh?! I-It's just because I uhh... Well... I... I..." Natsuki trailed off a bit, turning towards me. She was blushing, I could see that, even without any lights, the moon was just enough. Gosh, she's so pretty with her hair down...

"Yeah, we can kiss." I hummed softly, smiling like an idiot. Gosh, Natsuki really knew how to remind me I'm gay huh... Gosh, I'm glad I'm gay...

Our lips touched softly. I could hear Natsuki's quick breathing, she was really nervous, goodness...

I kinda lost track of time cause well, I was kinda too focused on kissing the cute, beautiful girl in bed with me... She did mention she was pretty sure she liked girls... Maybe...

We both pulled away, my heart was on fire, goodness heck I was falling for her so hard...

"S-Sayori... I... R-remember your...your confession...?"

"Mmhmm..?"

"I...I know it's unreasonable for me to expect you to still like... Like me like that after turning you down like that, but... I... I... Uh... I think... I think I'm wanting to uh... Try... Us... Y'know.. Like... Uh... W-whatever, nevermind, I messed this up big time..."

"No, nono, Natsuki..." I stopped her from turning back around. I think I knew what she was getting at... "I... I did say I'd wait for you, remember..?"

"...Are you... Actually..?"

"I should be asking you, dummy~" I giggled tiredly. "So, uh... Are you wanting to like....try...us..? Like, Us?" I asked, my heart could probably sign into an insane asylum now, goodness... I swear it was going to break out of my chest...

Natsuki didn't answer for a bit... Did I move too fast again? Of course I did... I've been crushing on her for weeks.... Gaah, stupid... Stupid Sayor...i...?

I cracked open my eyes a bit to confirm what my lips were telling me...

Yeah, it was... Natsuki kissed me.... Again...

I let my eyes close and I sighed softly, relaxing into Natsuki's touch.

This moment, I'm pretty sure, was the happiest moment in my entire life.

I had someone who loved me and cared for me..! And I loved and cared for that someone too..!

We both packed heavy luggage that... We needed to deal with on our own pace, but together, we could handle anything, and we could work on healing each other.

Everything is going to turn out okay. It may be a rough ride but... It's okay. It will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, fluff is such a joy to write.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff?
> 
> Ye, more fluff.
> 
> I think this chapter might be a bit shorter than the others so, uh, sorry, but I didn't have as much energy today as I really should, so I decided to take it easy. I hope you understand!
> 
> Please, enjoy yourselves and remember to take care!

...

...

...

...

The birds... They're cute and all but... I just wanna sleeeeeeeeep pleaaaaase shush....

...

...

...

Natsuki's warm... She smells sweet too... Is it normal to smell your girlfriend..? Wait... No, right, we're girlfriends now, right... Last night was still pretty vivid in my head despite how groggy I am right now...

What the heck is the time..?

Too lazy to open my eyes...

Wanna spend time snoozing with my girlfriend...

Booyah, good excuse Sayori!

...

...

Okay, yeah, I was kinda naive to think that actually being girlfriends with Natsuki would magically will my depression away. It's still here and right now it wanted me to remember it existed...

...

...

At least the whole Papa fiasco is over with...

...

I had a bit of a nightmare about him, but...  
I couldn't wake Natsuki... She looks too at peace when she's asleep, she's precious...

She's way more important to me than I am to myself, honestly... I... Uh... I don't think that's healthy...

Ugh, self-deprecation sucks but... My head is obsessed with reminding me how useless I am.

But I know I'm not!

I helped Natsuki! I did it..! But... At what cost...

I know I won't be able to look straight at knives for a while... Natsuki might have to do a bulk of the cooking, but I don't think she'd mind too much.

I wanna cook with her someday. Like with those pancakes earlier last week. Those were the best...

I'm still kinda curious about what Manga series she's gonna recommend me... She did say she'd show me once school kicks back into gear, but can I really wait that long?

I wanna see what all the rage about Manga's about!

...

I can hear her breathing... That... Sounds a bit creepy, but like, really, she's breathing really, really softly and it's just... Why do I love everything about her, holy goodness, I'm so gay....

I shifted a bit, reaching for my phone, but Natsuki blinked one eye open.

"Oh, shoot, did I wake you..?" I murmured tiredly, pausing my hand's quest to grab my cell.

"I... Yeah, don't worry about it though, heh... I'm a pretty light sleeper in general. Kinda had to be with Papa around..." She replied softly, shifting a bit herself.

"Ah... I'm... I'm sorry."

"Oh no, don't worry about it. I couldn't ever be mad at you. At least for too long"

"Oh you..." I giggled softly. Natsuki's 'just-woke-up' voice was...it was... A-actually I lack better terms, but.. It's... Hot... Actually... Don't... Okay, chill Sayori... I snatched my phone from the nightstand and took a glance at the screen.

A few notifications, yadayada... Oh..? A new banner to summon from..? I launched the game and... Well... I kinda forgot to turn down the volume...

"FIRE EMBLE-" Was all that came out before I managed to mute the thing. Both of us jumped.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks Alfonse..!" I quipped after a moment, staring at the screen with the muted icon... I slowly brought the volume back up to a modest level and shifted so Natsuki could watch if she wanted. 

"Oh, that game? What's new..?"

"Apparently there's a new summoning banner for us to pull from! I wonder who's gonna be in it..!" I chimed excitedly, waiting for the update to finish downloading. It didn't take too awfully long.

"Uhh, let's see here... 'Sacred Memories'... Oh, wait, an Erika alt is in this..? Mmh... Who else is... Lara... Layra... Uh..."

"L'Arachel?"

"That! How do you pernounce that..?"

"I uh... I read it..."

"...Smartass"

"Hey, that's what I did though, you dummy!"

We shared a giggle before looking back at screen.

"...Is that a kid..? With wings..?"

"Uh... I think you're right uh... Myrrh... Wait, she's a Flyer Dragon??"

"A flyer what now..?"

"Usually in this game, the little girls are dragon units, they can like...transform into a dragon and cause some real doo doo, but uh... They're all Infantry units... This is the first Flyer we've had... And she's a green dragon too... Ohh... Wait she's gonna be weak to bows too isn't she..? She's a flyer so..."

"...I'm just gonna nod my head and pretend I know what you're talking about..."

"Basically, being a hybrid unit like her gives her a bunch of different advantages and weaknesses that I'm just not used to... Like, she has to look out for Falchions, Bows, Red Magic I'm pretty sure if her Resistance isn't great... She doesn't have Lighting Breath either, but she does get that legendary Breath..."

"...Legendary Breath..?" Natsuki giggled. Without context, that... Does sound really funny...

I took some extra time to explain all I had talked about, moving to finally summon from this banner to see if I could maybe even possibly have a chance at getting one of these new units...

"I haven't gotten any of the special units from the New Years event and I'm kinda upset because of that, so, let's just pull from here and get what we get, I'm not too excited about getting a 5 Star this time around..." I explained, looking at the selection of 5 Orbs I got to summon from.

The new units were Red, Green, and Blue, so I wanted to summon from those specific orbs... But... Of the 5 I got, 2 were colorless... I then had 2 greens and 1 blue.

"Ugh, okay, let's just pull from those three and back out, cause this is kind of a bad pool."

The first green net me a 3 Star Beruka. Yay.

The Blue puffed and gave me a 4 Star Mae.

"Oh, she's pretty cute." Natsuki piped up.

"Yeah, I think she'd be a favorite for you too."

The last green puffed and out came...

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Oh, that's the dragon girl!"

"I... Guess I got Myrrh I guess..."

"You sound enthusiastic"

"I just wasn't expecting to..! Whatever..." I muttered, glancing at the time on my phone. It was just about 10:15 AM.

Both of us heard a cry in surprise and manic laughter coming from down stairs...

"What that..?"

"Monika..? What..?" I murmured, climbing out of bed... Wait, I was feeling so much more energetic now... I... I think I'm gonna put this one on Natsuki, cause... I can't possibly be too upset with her around... I mean, I'm just waiting for the day where I just need time alone, but right now, I'm feeling pretty alright, surprisingly enough..!

Time to go see what Monika's up to..!

Both of us headed downstairs and Monika looked up at us with excited eyes. Yuri was already making breakfast. More eggs!

"Sayori! Sayori!! Look!!!" Monika chimed, running up to me and shoving her phone into my face. Once I managed to focus on it, I felt a pang of jealousy...

In one summon session, Monika managed to net both Erika and L'Arachel..!?!

"Oh, wow!! You're super lucky today, Monika!" I chimed, smiling. I was really happy for her, I was..! But at the same time I just kinda wish I got a multi 5 Star summon once...

"Yeah, I pulled from that banner too and I got Myrrh, so Yay, I guess."

"Aww, really?? I wanted Myrrh to be honest, so congrats!!"

"Thanks, I guess..?"

Seeing Monika so ecstatic was kind of an odd sight. She's normally composed and enthusiastic in a calm cute way, but... This was a fish in totally different water.

"U-uh, Natsuki, Sayori, how do you like your eggs..?"

"Surprise me again!"

"Uh, gimme whatever your giving Sayo"

Yuri seemed like she traded glances between the two of us, but I'm not too sure, she just nodded and went back to cooking.

"I didn't know Yuri cooked too..!"

"We're all full of surprises, aren't we?" I quipped. Natsuki giggled.

Wait... I gently nudged Natsuki and leaned in to whisper. "Hey, do you think we should... Tell them..? About... Y'know... Us?"

Natsuki shifted her weight a bit, thinking quickly.

"Just... Act how we usually do. If they find out they find out. I don't got the guts to tell them honestly... If you can then go ahead, but, yeah..."

I huffed with mild amusement. Natsuki really has changed. She's actually admitted when she's too shy for something... To me at least...

Well, the girls are gonna have to find out one way or another, so, may as well make this quick...

I moved to sit down on the couch and Natsuki moved to flip on the console and join me, controller in hand. Monika glanced at us over her phone. From the sounds I'm hearing, I could guess she's busy leveling up her new units.

Yuri came in with our eggs not too long after and with everyone present, I decided to break the news.

"So, uh, girls..? This uhh... This is gonna sound kinda sudden, I guess, but like, I just want you two to know that uhhmm..."

I gently nudged Natsuki.

"We've decided to uhh.. Try things out..."

"You and Natsuki are...what..?" Yuri asked

"...UH...Is... Isn't that moving a little too fast like..??"

"W-we've decided to start dating!! We didn't do any of that yet, geez Monika!!" Natsuki cried out, slamming a hand over my mouth before I could cause any more miscommunications...

Monika and Yuri traded glanced between us. The president then just giggled.

"...'Yet'..."

"Oh. My. God." Natsuki was blushing feriously, fuming in anger. I laughed softly and gently pulled her back down into the couch with me. Natsuki made herself comfy in my lap... So, I just rested my chin on her shoulder, watching the screen.

I was blushing a lot too, honestly... Who knew Monika was a tease like that? I glanced over at Yuri and she was smiling at us. I just smiled back and reached around Natsuki, stabbing some eggs with my fork, and moving it to Natsuki's mouth. She hesitated before bashfully biting the eggs off my silverware, getting a giggle from me and Monika.

At least they're okay with us getting together!

I couldn't be happier..!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh BTW, I am really happy to know that a handful of people do play Heroes too and understand what I'm talking about.
> 
> For those of you who don't and are really confused by the first half of this chapter, I'm uh... Really sorry, hehe... 
> 
> Oh, but if you do play Heroes, I'll throw my friend code down below so you can add me!
> 
> My Sharena's my rep unit so Yay..!
> 
> FE Heroes Friend Code: 1966998553


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Sorry for the late post today. Slept in a bit later than I thought I would, haha! My bed is just way too comfy... 
> 
> Oh yeah, we hit over 4k+ hits and over 40k+ words, as well as over 200 Kudos a few chapters ago, but I completely forgot! Thank you all so much for your continued support for this fic! I hope I can keep putting out great content day after day for you all to enjoy! 
> 
> Anyways, onwards! To the story!

Ah. This building.

The building I really, really didn't want to see again.

I was still waring my scarf to hide my bandages, and Natsuki still had a decently sized bandage on her head that she really couldn't hide, and already we're getting looks and stares from the entire student body... Monika and Yuri were by us too. Monika said she'd hang around us to make sure we were fine and all, which is really kind of her, and Yuri was there cause uh... Well I think cause Monika was there too. She looked a bit uncomfortable with some students looking at her... 

"Sayori! Natsuki! I've heard rumors about what happened! Is it true??"

"Maybe if you had a brain and looked at the local paper, you'd find your answer!" Natsuki snapped. I gently pat her on the back to try and cue her to calm down some. My girlfriend just huffed, crossing her arms. "...Sorry."

That, I wasn't expecting to hear... Natsuki actually apologized?? To a stranger..? Well, more like a peer. I knew this girl, but I don't think Natsuki did.

"W-we're fine, thank you for worrying Hidori." I piped up, giving her a smile.

"But were the rumors true??"

"...Uh, haha, what exactly are the rumors? Despite being the subject of them all, I've kinda been out of the loop."

"I'd expect nothing less from you Sayori"

"Hey! Watch your tongue!"

"Natsuki, please..."

"She just bad mouthed you and you're gonna take it?"

"She's not wrong..."

"That don't mean she has to be rude about it!"

"Look who's talking..." Hidori piped up, arms crossed.

"Hidori, just... Please tell us." I pleaded, trying to move this conversation along before Natsuki caved a face in.

"Natsuki's father was paralyzed and thrown into jail for like, 50 years!! And people are saying you were the one who paralyzed him! With a knife to the back of the neck!" Hidori pointed at me.

"I uh... Y-Yeah... I guess I did... That's all I'm willing to share, but... Yeah."

"Oh my goodness, Sayori, you're crazy..."

"I'm... I'm what..?"

Hidori already ran off, taking one nervous glance back at me...

"I swear, if they spread rumors about you, I'm going to show them all a piece of my mind..."

"If it happens, it happens, Cup... N-Natsuki... C'mon, let's go. Class starts soon."

"If more rumors start popping up, I'll see what I can do to control the damage." Monika piped up, turning to head to class. "You two lovebirds take care!" She waved. Yuri gave us a wave too before leaving with Monika.

...Those two have been hanging around each other a lot... Huh... Did they have the same class...? I... Couldn't remember...

Natsuki and I walked through the halls together. We didn't have the same class, but they were close to each other, so we could get those extra few seconds together.

Now was time for us to split up for now.

"Hey, take care of yourself, okay? Don't let Tauber get to you."

"You be sure to try and have fun okay? I don't want anyone headed to the nurse's because of you... Unless they deserve it, you use your discretion."

"You can count on me!" Natsuki jut a thumb towards herself and we shared a super super quick kiss before we broke off. No one was around I don't think so uh, I think we're okay.

I have no idea how the Student body would react if they found out we were dating too... Probably throw in more rumors about us... Ugh...

I entered the class room and sat down at my desk, a bit lazy right now. Being in school has always made me lazy.

I could feel other students looking at me and whispering about me. I tried to my best to pick up on some of them...

"do you think she's got a knife on her right now?"

"don't be rediculous, knives aren't allowed on school property"

"she literally stabbed a dude, didn't she? she already showed us she doesn't care about rules or laws if she can stab a dude and get out of being in trouble!"

...They didn't have the full story... They think I just stabbed that devil of a man because I wanted to...

I closed my eyes, tuning out their conversation. I really didn't want any of this right now... I just wanted to be with Natsuki. Having her around makes me feel braver, bolder, happier... I wonder how she's faring in her classroom...

...Hopefully better than me. She's always been full of energy, I'm sure she's fine.

I managed to keep myself awake throughout class. Tauber was just as harsh as ever. I don't understand how some kids liked him...

Lunch rolled around and I joined my club mates outside under the tree in the courtyard. Natsuki had been a bit excited to have a kitchen full of food, so she went and made us lunch beforehand. She's so sweet..!

I sat down next to my girlfriend and we both started digging in. I mean, sure, they were just sandwiches, but Natsuki like, toasted the bread and added a bunch of other stuff that made it just absolutely delicious!!

It was like a breath of fresh air, getting to be next to Natsuki again. She had this aura around her that made me feel safe. I don't know what it was, but I'm happy she was the one who gave me that feeling.

"Oh, shoot, I forgot to pack us drinks too... Uh... Sayori, wanna go grab some drinks with me?" Natsuki stood up, offering me a hand

"Oh! Of course!" I chimed happily, taking her hand and pulling myself up.

"You two take care now!" Monika called out.

"Moni, the vending machines are literally over there. We'll be fine." Natsuki laughed. Everyone else in the club joined in the laughter. We all cared about each other. Knowing that felt... Really nice...

After a few seconds of chuckling and gentle, playful nudging, we made it to the vending machines. Natsuki glanced over the options. I pulled out a few bills we could use to grab what we wanted. The fact I remembered to bring money was surprising to myself.

Natsuki ended up taking some soda. The orange soda stuff, uh, yeah. I took some canned iced tea and we both started to head back.

I had a small devilish idea and gently pressed my cold can against Natsuki's neck.

She jumped and yelped, and I took that as a cue to bolt. I could hear Natsuki behind me, laughing and gaining on me, even though she's still shorter than I am..! Was I that slow? Maybe I was just out of shape since all I do is lay about all the time... Maybe some exercise wouldn't be a bad idea... Just to keep myself healthy and all. Nothing more. Something to pass the time with too.

I looked forward and I saw Monika and Yuri giving us a surprised look as we quickly approached them, both of us were laughing like little children..!

She managed to catch up and tackle me just as we reached our spot, and we tumbled across the ground, still giggling like mad.

"Hah! I caught you! You little rascal!"

Oh... Oh no! She started tickling me!!

"N-noo!! Natsu-Natsuki stop it!!!" I cried, laughing, her fingers assaulting my sides with relentless energy, gosh, being tickled was weird..!!

"I haven't heard proper apology!"

My mind flashed back to a less pleasant time all of a sudden... Me... Pinned down someone on top of me...

"N-Natsuki!! Seriously get off, please!! I-I'm sorry!!" I cried out a bit more panicked. Natsuki did as I asked and I sat up quickly, my heart going wild... Gosh, I hate this brain... So much...

"Sayori, everything alright..?" Yuri asked. "You sounded a bit stressed..."

"I'm... Not exactly fine, but I'll manage... Sorry, I just.... Had a flashback or something..." I murmured, rubbing my arms a bit.

"Oh... Oh!! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Sayori... I didn't... I didn't mean to remind you of..."

"No, it's okay, I know you didn't, but uh, hey, at least we know not to do that again for a while at least... Sorry, again... I know you were having fun but that kinda seriously stressed me out..."

"Don't apologize, please, I was the one who messed up..." Natsuki insisted. She really sounded sorry... Gosh, good going Sayori...

There was a moment of awkward silence before Monika cleared her throat.

"Uh, when you two are ready, your drinks are right here."

Natsuki and I glanced over and saw our drinks on the ground, right next to Monika. Gosh, I forgot about those!

"Thanks Moni!" I chimed, taking our drinks. I gave Natsuki's soda to her and cracked open my can of tea. Maybe I could just forget this all happened...

Natsuki was... Uncharacteristically silent. She just hummed her thanks when I handed her the drink... Did I really make her feel that bad..?? I already forgave her, what happened was purely an accident, I knew that, but... Why was she still so silent..?

"Natsuki, hun, everything alright..?"

"Huh? Yeah..! Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just uh... Trying to remember some of those complicated stuff we learned in math today..."

I frowned. That was a blatant lie. Natsuki and I had similar math courses and today was a review day... Maybe we could talk about this once we got home. Natsuki does seem more secure and open when we're alone.

Just needed to drag my feet through the rest of today. Shouldn't be too awfully hard since time moves by itself without me telling it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this count as angst? It's not as harsh as the previous chapters, but there's negative emotions so uh... Iunno.
> 
> Also, I really... Really do understand that Monika and Yuri are both underrepresented in this fic, but at the same time, like... Gosh, I barely have Yuri speak, she's got like, social anxiety, so like, she doesn't really pipe up too awfully much in general... I think. I got anxiety too, but at least my meds are helping.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story about a literature club that writes poems.
> 
> The first poem makes an appearance this chapter. 
> 
> Good work, me..!

"...So you didn't finish it yet..?"

"N-no, not yet, but I'm almost done with it!"

"Well, uh, what did you think of it so far then..?"

"It's... Interesting. I wasn't expecting the main character to... Do that..."

"Ohh! You're at that part! Yes, that part was a shocking turn around! I absolutely love it!"

Natsuki and Yuri were talking about that Portrait of Markov book. I've been trying to get Natsuki to read it but all she does is sit and watch TV. Probably because that's all I do too nowadays, but really, what can beat a handful of those wholesome cooking shows? Like, literal food porn??

Natsuki and I have basically recovered fully from what happened during lunch. At least I think she has. I'm completely fine now, just a little bit tired as I scribble down some words onto a sheet of paper. I was a few poems behind and Monika, the president she is, really wants me to catch up, so here I was...

Oh yeah, Natsuki also finally handed me the series she's been wanting me to read. Something called Yuru Camp. Laid-Back Camp or something. It seems interesting... And I did say I wanted happy fluffy slice of life stuff, so this definitely seemed like the thing for me...

Poems first though...

_Our Demons  
~Shimizu Sayori~_

_I hate them, I love them_

_The demons in my head_

_They do bad things_

_Like laze about_

_And do nothing all day._

_I hate them, I love them_

_The demons in her head._

_They do bad things_

_Like bring up unpleasant memories_

_Of a time long past._

_I hate them, I love them_

_The demons in my head_

_They do good things_

_Like savoring the moments of peace within._

_Like taking the moments of cheer_

_And throwing them even higher._

_I hate them, I love them_

_The demons in her head_

_They do good things_

_Like strive to become better through relentless spirit_

_Like remind her that good and bad cycle like night and day._

_I hate them, I love them_

_The demons in our heads._

_With them, we're kinda miserable._

_But without them, who are we really?_

"...This definitely feels different than your other poems, Sayori." Monika commented, her eyes glazing over the paper and rereading it once more.

"I, aha, I'll take that as a compliment!"

"It was! Very bittersweet, but it talks about a very important lesson I think everyone should learn eventually. Go show the other two, I'm sure they'll love it just as much! Thank you for checking up with me first though!"

"I wanted to make sure it was at least presentable! Thanks for helping me keep on track, Monika!" I chimed, waving to her before heading back over to where Natsuki and Yuri were reading. Natsuki was staring intently at a book I could only assume as The Portrait of Markov.

I didn't speak a word, instead just gently shaking the paper to get their attention. Yuri glanced up from reading the same page and smiled, gently taking my poem.

"Hold on a moment, I'm just finishing up and these last few pages demand my attention." Natsuki murmured. Both of us giggled.

"Honestly, I wasn't expecting her to get so into reading it, but I guess I'm glad she is." Yuri mused softly before devoting her attention to my paper.

Even though Monika already okayed it, it was still jarring to have others read it. It was like... Iunno, everyone has different opinions, one person could love it, and another could just hate it... You couldn't please everyone with one work. That was the reality of creating...

After a bit, Yuri glanced up at me for a moment before looking back down at my piece, making me shuffle a bit more...

"This piece is talking about you, Natsuki, and the burdens the world decided to give you two, am I correct..?"

"I uh... Yeah, haha..." I scratched the back of my neck. My bruises had mostly healed, but it was still uncomfortable with those bandages there.

"I see... This is a very bittersweet piece. I enjoy it, and it talks about a very real theme. I really have to commend you for accepting your flaws as what they are."

"O-oh..! I uhh, haha, thanks Yuri, that's some pretty... Pretty high praise..!"

"Well deserved praise in my opinion. I'll set this here so your girlfriend can read it when she's able to." Yuri replied, gently setting the paper down between her and Natsuki. Both me and her blushed deeply. Natsuki just seemed to pretend she didn't hear that, but she was glancing over at Yuri with playful anger...

I held in a giggle and pulled up a chair, sitting down and glancing at the book. Whatever it was doing now, Natsuki was helplessly hooked...

Speaking of, I have some free time, I may as well get started on that Manga...

I went and fetched it from my bag, sitting back down next to the girls and flipped open the book. Monika came and joined us not too long after, reading a book of her own.

Just the four of us, reading books in our little safe literature club. Momentarily free of any obligations the real world had for us... It was... Nice... Very nice.

Hmm... This Rin character was pretty cute...

...

...

...

I heard a book slam shut and glanced up. Natsuki had a very upset expression. Yuri held in her laughter and Monika covered her mouth to suppress giggles.

"What the **fuck** was that ending?!"

"I know right? It catches the reader completely off guard!" Monika added in.

"That was just... No, I don't wanna, that's just... No..!"

Yuri and Monika shared some hearty laughter. I couldn't help but giggle too, seeing Natsuki like this was just adorable... And funny too..!

"It leaves you with a lot to think about though, doesn't it?" Yuri asked, wiping a tear from her eye.

"I... Yeah, that's putting it lightly" Natsuki nodded, staring at the ominous eye on the cover. "Fuck you!" She pointed at the eye...

Yuri and Monika laughed even harder.

"Whatever, I don't got time for this, where that, here it is." I heard the rustle of paper. Natsuki picked up my poem... Oh goodness...

"...Y'know, after reading Markov, this poem is really a breath of fresh air because it **doesn't make me question literally everything.** "

Monika gently slapped a hand on the table, trying to keep her laughter under control.

Also, I've never seen Yuri laugh so hard either... Wow...

"B-but uh... It's really nice, Sayo... I like it a lot... It's... It's uh, very real. I guess... I don't know the right word..!" Natsuki gently tossed the poem towards me

"Don't worry, I understand you, ehee!" I giggled, picking it up and reading it over again. I guess real was kind of the best word for it...

I looked up and saw Natsuki talking animatedly with Monika and Yuri about the book though... She was so worked up over that ending... It was cute...

The literature club was our home away from home. It's anyways been that, and it always will...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna throw thanks at Naarel first of all for drumming up last names for the girls in their story 'Doki Doki Slam Poetry Club'. It's a really interesting read and a bit confusing, but it's really got me on my toes, waiting for the next chapter. Go read it too!
> 
> Also, this is just for me, but uh, I may not upload a chapter tomorrow.
> 
> I have a kinda busy day with a doctor's appointment and I'll be running some errands too, so I just want to be transparent with you all. That and I just kinda need a small break, so
> 
> Don't expect an update tomorrow. 
> 
> But I'll be totally uploading a new chapter Tuesday, so don't worry!
> 
> I hope you all understand! 
> 
> Thank you for reading this far in! It's always been a blast taking you all along for the ride, and it always will be!
> 
> Please remember to take care and eat properly! I'll be seeing you all again soon enough!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uploading this at literally 2 AM.
> 
> I cannot go a day without writing it seems. I guess that's good..?
> 
> Thank you for waiting patiently for this chapter! We're getting right back into the mix!
> 
> Please remember to read only when you're able to! You all take care of yourselves!

I let out a sharp sigh, closing my eyes and dropping my bag.

Ah, home sweet home.

Natsuki plopped herself down in the couch and sighed tiredly as well. I walked over and leaned against the back, looking down at the other girl. She had her eyes closed and she looked like she was resting...

"Cupcake, can I join you?"

"..." She didn't respond... Right away at least. She just shifted to the side, making some room and hummed.

I walked around and jumped up, plopping myself down next to my girlfriend, making her bounce a bit.

"Uuah?!" She cried out in surprise. "H-hey, watch it, dummy!" Auugh... A light, playful bap on the head...

I just hummed, snuggling into her warm body. Way better than any blanket I had, and I loved my blankets...

... 

... 

"N-no! Stay back!!" My feet failed to get solid purchase behind me and I stumbled, stopping against the edge behind me... 

Papa approached... He had a noose in his hands, swinging it around menacingly, like a weapon... He was grinning... I couldn't see his eyes... They were... Shaded out... He really was evil..! 

"I-I'm serious!" I cried out, whipping out a knife..!

With frightening agility, Papa swung the noose. It wrapped around my knife and the blade was yanked from my grip... Do nooses really work like that..? 

The small kitchen knife handed behind him... Oh no... Oh... 

Oh gosh... 

I'm... I'm falling..! 

I didn't scream... I couldn't scream... I just... Watched the world above fall away. It was... Surreal...

I don't know how long I've been falling but... I think I was in water now..? It sounds like water... It feels like water... I can even see bubbles... But... I could breathe still..? Am... Am I drowning..? I did read that drowning was a pretty painless way to die... Am I ready to die..?

Did I really, actually want to die..? But... Natsuki... Could... Could she manage without me..? 

... 

Those bubbles are kinda pretty I guess... I could see little pictures in them... Pictures of fond memories... Natsuki... Natsuki punching that cashier... My friends... Monika, Yuri... They're... All there... 

Wait, someone grabbed my hand... They're... Pulling me up..? Wait, I can stand..? 

I stared at my feet... Am I... Standing on anything..? It just looks like nothing... I looks up finally, to get a glance at who helped me up... Oh, Natsuki..? 

"I'm always there to pick you up, gal pal!" The girl jut her thumb towards herself confidently, her trademark smirk on her face, her eyes flashed with determination and pure spirit... "No matter what! If you fall down, I'll pick you back up! As many times as it takes!" 

"...Where...where are we headed..?" I asked, blinking... I don't know why I asked that, but I guess now that is a pretty valid question. Even Natsuki looked a bit confused as she scratched her head a bit, looking up. Then she pointed in a direction. 

"I don't think it matters. As long as we're moving, it's progress. We got so much things to explore! May as well start now, you know? Things might get boring too fast!" 

Natsuki started walking in a directed, dragging me along. We walked in silence for a bit in this endless void... 

"...Do you think you'll get bored of me?" I asked, looking forward, curious on what lay ahead for us. 

"Nah, I could never! You're really fun to be around! Plus, you always have really fun thoughts about everything we've come across!" 

"R-really?" 

"Yeah, like that time we just stared at clouds for like, hours after school..?" 

"...I...I kinda remember..."

"Yeah, and you kept on insisting one cloud looked like sushi when it was obviously a dragon!" 

"I-wha..?! But... It did look like sushi though!" I remembered precisely what cloud she was talking about..!

Natsuki laughed and I did too. Her laughter was pretty contagious. 

"Or that one time you drew random scribbles on your notebook, and submitted it to an actual full fledged contemporary art contest?" 

"Oh, oh!! Yeah! I still can't believe I actually landed 5th, honestly... I still kinda feel a bit bad for taking up a spot for a joke though..."

"What? No, it was funny as fuck! Your artistic sprit was just finally being acknowledged!" 

"I... I guess..." I murmured, studying my shoes... 

"Oh hey! Look!" 

I glanced up... There was a massive tower... It was... Like, actually _massive_... 

"...Do you plan to actually work on climbing?" 

"All the way to the top!" 

"...Why?"

"Well, it's not like we have much else to do here... That and I feel like this whole thing is just a massive metaphor..."

"A metaphor..?" 

"Yeah, you know..." 

"No, no, I know what a metaphor is! It's something that represents something without using 'like' or 'as'. It's kinda like symbolism..!"

"Well, yeah, I guess."

"Well, what's the metaphor here, you think..?" 

"...Mmh, tell me your thoughts first."

"What? Why?" 

"A thought for a thought. Sound fair?" 

"...I guess...Mmhh" 

I thought about everything that's happened... Uhh... 

"It's a big tower."

"That's an observation, not a metaphor, silly goose." 

"Well, it's all I got, honestly..!" 

"I guess... A deal is a deal too..." Natsuki sighed, looking up at the building. 

"I think this tower is a metaphor for recovery." She piped up after a moment to think.

"Recovery..?"

"Yeah. Like the higher we get, the better we are."

"...Then what do you think is at the top?" 

"...You want my honest thought..?" 

Natsuki stopped and looked up. We've been walking this entire time towards the tower and it's still so far away... But it's so menacingly massive... I gently squeezed Natsuki's hand in response. 

"I don't think we'll ever reach the top."

"What? What happened to the optimism?" 

Natsuki giggled, starting to walk again. I kept pace.

"Believing we'll hit the top is a dream, yeah, but realistically, I'd be content with making it at least part the way up. We can manage."

"...I guess that's a good point..."

"But, we're not going to stop moving. Not until we can't move no more. You with me, Sayori?" 

Natsuki stopped and looked back at me. I blinked... 

Moving until we can't move no more... 

...She believed this tower represented 'Recovery' of all things... 

Climb it until we can't climb no more... 

From where we were I can see that the way to climb up was through stairs that wrapped around the massive circumference... 

Could I do it..? 

With Natsuki..?

I gave my girlfriend a smile and a confident nod. 

"With you 'till I drop, Suki!"

The smile she gave back...

It was magical...

Together, we both ran towards the tower, giggling and laughing. When we were together... We could do anything. Even climb this behemoth of a tower..!

We made it to the base finally and found the first few steps up.... But both of us were out of breath, spent from the run and the laughing.

We sat, backs against the tower for right now, gathering our spent energy.

"Hey... Sayori?"

"Hmm?"

"We're together, right?"

"Right."

"So...if one of us falls down a few steps, we'll work together to get back onto the same level, and we'll continue on up, together."

"That's the idea, Cupcake."

"Great... Have I ever mentioned how grateful I am to have you around?"

"Oh? Fill me in! Feed my ego!"

"Ugh gosh, okay never mind!"

"What? Nooooo, tell meeeeee!!"

"Nahhh, don't feel like it."

"C'moooon, Cupcake!!"

"Mmmhh... Nah"

"I loooove yoooou!"

"Sayo..."

"Tell meee!"

"...I know you won't abandon me. You won't leave me behind for dead. Whatever we go through, we go through together, and... I find myself comforted by the fact that I have someone I can count on watching my back. There! I said it! You happy?"

I couldn't smile wider..!

"Couldn't be better!" I chimed, giggling!

We sat there a bit longer before I shifted and stood up, holding out a hand for my girlfriend. She took it and pulled herself up and with her hand in mine, we stared at the first step...

We both lifted a leg. 

"Together..?"

"Together."

Step 1.

...

...

I blinked my eyes open... I was in the couch, cuddled in my girlfriend's arms... 

Gosh what a nice nap... What's the time..?

"W-what it's already 6?!"

I got up, waking Natsuki up in the process.

"H-hey, Sayo, what's the..?"

"It's 6!"

"...Am..?"

"Pm!"

"Ah... Yeah, I'm kinda hungry."

"You're always hungry. Even when you have a house full of food."

"Can't yell at this metabolism!" Natsuki chimed, sitting up and stretching.

"Wanna cook together?"

"Together?"

"Y'know, cause doing things with you is fun..."

"...I...Yeah."

Natsuki smiled at me. "Together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, I finished Girls' Last Tour a few hours ago, and I'm still reeling from the Manga ending, so uh... Yeah. Gosh.
> 
> But yeah, I'm happy to be back. That break was really something I needed. This chapter was the funnest one I've written in a while. Lots of symbolism and metaphors. Natsuki's smarter than she let's on, I guess.
> 
> All that aside though, I kinda feel like this fic, regardless of what we do, is kinda coming to a close. I can always start up a new story if you all would have me, ahaa...   
> I'll try and keep Depression Naps going for a bit longer, but it's also nice to finally say 'Done' and look back at what we've accomplished, don't you think? After all, an ending is just a new beginning, huh?
> 
> I'll do some alt fics within the universe once I close this one though, alternate paths like what if Sayo dropped the knife instead and stuff. Those won't be as long or as dedicated as the master work, being this, but just for exploring different paths and seeing what sights are to be seen, y'know? 
> 
> Augh, I'm rambling again. Sorry, ehee...


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter for a new day! Yaaaaaaaa... Aaa...
> 
> Yeah, okay, yeah, I'm kinda sorry that Monika and Yuri do get the butt end of this fic in screen time. 
> 
> I'm kinda debating what I do next once I'm finished with Depression Naps... Maybe I'll throw up another Strawpoll when it comes around. 
> 
> Oh, uh, to clear things up too, this chapter takes place after a Timeskip of a year or so. 
> 
> So uh, sorry if I skipped over something you would've liked to see. Maybe I can do a little extra fic about it.

I took in a deep breath, looking up at the sun shining above us. Natsuki wiped a bead of sweat off of her forehead and looked up too.

"We've gotten pretty high..." I murmured, glancing down. The tower was almost endless, both looking down and looking up.

"Yeah. We have." Natsuki hummed, gently grabbing my hand and pulling me back to rest against the tower with her.

A gentle breeze blew through the warm air, it was... Really relaxing, being able to just relax for once.

My mind wandered, thinking about all that's happened. The two of us have been dating for almost a year now. We were dragging our feet through senior year...

Our friends haven't changed much either, but they're working on getting better. Monika has been keeping track of Yuri and the two have gotten really close over the course of last year, ever since I found Yuri in the bathroom that one day...

I guess I should've expected something, but... Gosh, I've never seen so much blood since... Well... Yeah. Still though, I never expected to see her actually like, cutting herself, but I guess we all had our problems. Monika still fawns over Yuri occasionally, it's kinda cute. 

I glanced over at Natsuki. She's changed slightly too. A bit more plump, healthy, slightly taller. Without an abusive father to make sure she stood malnourished, she's been able to get her body into a more physically sound state.

I guess it also helped that she joined the Soccer team as well. When she found out that their practices were before school and totally didn't interfere with our literature club time, she took it on herself to join.

I'm pretty sure she's been the best striker the team's had in a long time. I couldn't be prouder!

When I really thought about it, have I changed too? ...Hmm...Natsuki was barely shorter than me now, so I haven't gotten any taller...

I guess most of my progress has been mental. It's been a long time since the Papa incident... I still haven't opened up about it to Monika and Yuri, but... Maybe tomorrow. I definitely felt a lot more prepared to handle everything and I've had a lot of time for shift through my thoughts as well.

I was by no means just as fine as I was back then though. What he did to me still plagued my mind from time to time, but, I've been working to cope. Natsuki's been helping me the best she can too. I was so thankful that she was my lover...

I glanced back at her and she was looking back at me too. We both smiled and giggled, shared a soft kiss...

"Ready to keep going?" Natsuki asked.

"Whenever you are" I replied, getting up, gently pulling her up as well.

"Hey, do you think we'll run into Monika and Yuri?"

"On the tower?"

"Yeah."

"...I think we might. Maybe they're just a few levels above us. Let's try and catch up!" I chimed "We could all climb the tower together!"

Natsuki smiled and gripped my hand tighter.

"I'd like that. Well then. Ready?"

"Ready."

Next step.

...

...

I groaned as I heard Natsuki slap the snooze on the alarm.

Natsuki primarily got the alarm for me, but she's been using it herself to help make sure she gets up early enough to catch her sports practice. I always tried to get up with her, but sometimes I just couldn't.

Today was just one of those days.

Natsuki gently rubbed my shoulder and climbed out of bed, gently tossing the extra blankets onto my groggy body.

"Have fun, Cupcake, don't do anything stupid" I murmured, seeing her silhouette shuffle around the room.

"Aw, C'mon, I gotta meet my daily quota though"

"Of stupid things? A daily quota of stupid things? When did this start?" I mused playfully, closing my eyes. So tired...

"Since now, I guess. Staying in bed, babe?"

I hummed.

"Alright. I'll whip up a lunch for you. See you later!" She chimed softly, kissing me on the forehead before leaving the room, gently closing the door behind her.

Honestly, I wanted to join her today. On the days I could climb out of bed with her, I'd join her and watch the team practice together. Or at least be within the vicinity and muse through my phone. It was a lot funner than walking to school alone, but I know Natsuki cares for me at the end of the day. I can handle being alone.

...

...

Alarm... Ugh... I slapped the snooze and glanced at the digital display.

7:30... It's... My time to rise and shine, I guess. Can't miss school... Ugh. I rolled in bed a bit and looked up. The hook was gone. Natsuki and I got rid of it a few months back. Without it, the room felt... Better. I don't know how to put it. 

I yawned and stretched, clamoring out of bed and snatching my phone off it's little perch on my desk. Let's see...

Voicemails, game notifications, the usual... A text from Natsuki as well... I remember when I got her a phone for her birthday. I've been saving up for a while for that, ever since I got a little part time job as a waitress at a nearby Cafe.

_[5:30 AM] Tuff-Cake: Your lunch is on the kitchen counter! Remember to take your meds too, love you babe! <3_

I smiled softly, making my way into the bathroom while I typed my reply.

_[7:32 AM] Heyo-Sayo: Aww, thanks, Cupcake! I love you too! I still can't process how you can wake up consistently at like, 5 in the morning..!_

I pocketed my phone and looked up at the mirror. My hair was getting a bit longer... Hmm... Maybe a haircut is in order... I did a quick neaten up, popped on my ribbon and popped my meds too. I've been getting better at remembering. Natsuki helps keep me on a constant schedule just by those texts. She's so perfect...

I smiled at my reflection and left the washroom, feeling my phone vibrate as I headed downstairs. I popped some bread into the toaster super quick before checking on the text. 

_[7:36 AM] Tuff-Cake: Honestly, I don't know either. Maybe I'm just a morning person._

_[7:37 AM] Heyo-Sayo: Well, I'm just about to leave the house. Meet me at our usual spot??_

_[7:37 AM] Tuff-Cake: Wouldn't miss it. See you soon!_

I let out a happy sigh and slipped my phone into my bookbag, double checking everything. I got my lunch, got my breakfast toast, got my uniform, took my meds... I'm pretty sure I'm set!

I slipped on my shoes and headed out, taking in the fresh air outside. The sun was shining its brilliant radiance down on us, like it always does. Thanks for everything, you big ball of fire you!!

I kicked off and jogged happily towards the school, humming to myself as I slowly worked my way across town.

Once I reached the main building, I quickly checked my phone for the time, reading out a 7:47 AM. Great, a good amount of time to spare..!

I wandered around the courtyard and found Natsuki sitting underneath the tree that we all sat under during lunch.

She must've heard my footsteps and glanced up, waving at me with a bright smile as I approached and sat down next to her. There was already a handful of students around here and there. Some of them glanced at us weirdly like they always do, but honestly, I couldn't care less anymore. Those rumors that went out about me have all kinda died, thankfully enough, thanks to Monika's miracle working, whatever she does as the school's head honcho. She's basically already confirmed to be our class's valedictorian.

Of course, some students here and there were still scared of me, which was kinda funny nowadays, but what could I do?

Natsuki's fingers found themselves laced with mine and we sat under that tree for a little bit in silence before something different happened...

"Pff, what're you two doing? Dating?"

I glanced up... Ah. Hidori.

"What would you do if I said yes?" I asked, giving a small playful smirk towards Natsuki.

"Uh, that'd be kinda weird. Girls can't date girls? Like, how do you even like... Have kids??"

Natsuki let out a quick fit of laughter, gently slapping the ground. I couldn't help but giggle too, honestly... Was this girl really that close minded? We've been doing this same basic thing almost every day and she notices just now..?

"Well, Hidori, I'm gonna do this once, so you better watch closely." Natsuki piped with a hint of evil eagerness in her voice. I could quickly get an idea on what Natsuki was thinking about. I quickly turned towards my girlfriend and we shared a quick kiss on the lips. Gosh, kissing her was always so nice...

Hidori quick turned red and covered her mouth, stumbling backwards before running off, getting laughter out of the both of us.

"Was that really a smart idea?" I asked after recovering, wiping a stray tear away.

"If anyone has a problem with us, I'll show them a piece of my mind." Natsuki replied, gently squeezing my hand.

"Please don't." I giggled.

"Fine, but at least let me tell them how I feel."

"That's okay, as long as you don't send anyone to the nurse's."

"Oh, they're gonna need to head to the nurse's anyways when I roast their sorry close minded behinds!"

"Ehee, I hope I get to see it with my own two eyes! It's almost time for class though..." I murmured, glancing at my phone. 

"Well then." Cupcake piped up, getting up and pulling me up with her. "Let's head off then. You take care alright? See you at lunch, hun." Natsuki smiled, gently kissing me again. Gosh, she's not afraid at all... 

"See you at lunch, Cupcake!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For now, I'm going to be focusing on trying to figure out how to close this off on a good note.
> 
> Also I've been listening to the ED of Ep. 5 on Girls' Last Tour on loop for like, 3 hours now, it's so nice... Girls' Last Tour had really good music in general tbh.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today, it's my bittersweet honor and pleasure to present to you all...
> 
> The 'last' chapter. 
> 
> I have some words for you all in the end notes, but for now, enjoy the 'last' installment in the Depression Naps fanfic.

I closed my eyes and swallowed.

The words I just spoke were bitter. I could literally taste it. I could see the scene in my head over and over again... I felt dirty, I felt wrong... I felt so terrible but...

It's out there. I finally said it. Monika and Yuri finally know what happened to me that one day.

I didn't hear anything at first. Did they...? I felt Natsuki's hand gently squeeze mine. She's there for me... Right... Right, okay...

I cracked open one eye and saw Monika with both hands over her mouth, and Yuri... Uh... Looked like she was ready to commit slaughter. It was kinda unsettling...

"I-I uhh... S-sorry I didn't tell you girls any earlier, I... I couldn't talk about it... I didn't want to talk about it... I still have nightmares and thoughts about it from time to time too, it's..."

"Sayori..." Yuri piped up, her voice dripping a venom I've never heard. "If that man ever makes it out of prison alive, he won't see the light of day, I swear..."

"Y-Yuri, I appreciate the concern, but uh, haha, I'd rather you didn't get thrown behind bars for killing a disabled person..! P-plus, he's Natsuki's dad, like..!"

"You said it yourself! He isn't really even human anymore, he's..!" Yuri's expression darkened. "He's _filth_..."

A chill flashed down my back and I swear the temperature of the room dropped a few digits... I've... Never seen this side of Yuri... She's... Wow, uh...

"Y-Yuri, he's... He's not going to get out of jail for another like, 40+ years, don't worry about it..." Monika perked up finally. "Regardless, what he did to you, Sayori, is absolutely vile, I never knew that someone could have done such an evil thing, to you, no less! You never deserved it to happen. No one does."

I knew she was speaking the truth. No one ever deserved to be... Raped... It's one of the worst things I can ever think of... But... I still found it hard to believe... I knew I didn't deserve it, but apparently in his eyes, I did... Was lying that big of an offense in that household..? What would've happened if I didn't lie about my name..?

Natsuki squeezed my hand again, pulling me back into the real world. She's my anchor.

Living together has taught us several things about each other. Natsuki has a super tender side that she seldom reveals, and she clenches her fist when she's frustrated, and she still flinches to sudden movements from time to time.

I guess she's picked up on when I start over thinking and some other quirks about me that I haven't noticed myself.

I gave my Cupcake a grateful smile. She's my sunshine. She really is...

"T-thank you, Monika. Yuri... I really appreciate what both of you have been saying. It's been a rough path for recovery, for all of us, but since we all have each other, I know we'll be okay." I held in a hiccup. Wow, I was actually getting pretty emotional over this.

"Wow, you're tearing up over this? Way to ruin the mood." Natsuki piped up, catching everyone off guard.

"Wh-Natsuki! I think _you're_ the one who broke the mood!" I retorted, giving her a playful nudge, a tear slipping down my face. I wiped it off. I couldn't tell if they were happy tears or upset tears, but they're tears nonetheless. I had feelings.

I was alive.

I am _alive_.

 _I_ am alive.

...

...

...

I opened the door to my house, taking in the familiar sight and sighed happily.

I heard a small slap and a yelp. Natsuki ran in ahead of me, laughing as Monika chased her in, holding her behind. I could only guess what happened, but I had a feeling it didn't take a genius to figure it out. Yuri giggled as she followed the other two in. I was the last in and gently closed the door behind us, locking the door.

It was Friday. And of course everyone had it in them to suggest a massive impromptu sleepover.

Again.

"Hey! You can't escape justice! Get back here you little rascal!" Monika cried out from somewhere in the building.

"You're gonna have to catch me first, prez!" Natsuki chimed in a taunting tone.

I couldn't see them, but their stomping and running definitely let me know that they somehow made it upstairs. I sighed happily. Friendship...

Yuri sat down in her favorite spot in my house; the loveseat, and I leaned over the back of the couch, both of us glancing at each other and laughing as we listened to the other two run around the house.

The stomping got louder suddenly and Natsuki dashed past me, putting me in between her and Monika, causing her to run into me..?!

One yelp and a moment of dizziness later, I came to, sandwiched between my girlfriend and the president of the club... Yuri peeked over at us with a concerned expression.

I giggled and gave a thumbs up to our quiet friend who smiled and turned back to reading a book she... Pulled out from somewhere...

The other two were just laying there, panting, out of breath.

Now, I didn't call myself a gay disaster most of the time, but being sandwiched between two winded girls and feeling their warm bodies in close, squeezing contact does weird things to people.

"H-hey..." Natsuki piped up finally from underneath me. Both Monika and I turned our heads to look down at her. "You two are pretty freaking heavy, uh... Could you get off..?" She tried to shift with a small grunt.

"Mmh... Nah. I'm still busy serving justice." Monika replied after a moment to think. Natsuki let out a small cute whine which made all of us giggle.

"A-always an ally of justice then, huh prez?" I added playfully, feeling my face slowly warm up as my gay started to act up... A lot...

Monika just hummed in response and got off after a few more seconds.

"Sorry Sayo, hehe" She giggled as I clamored to get up next. Natsuki let out a small 'oof' underneath me.

I just laid back down quickly getting another grunt from Natsuki. She let out a small whine. "Sayooo...."

"Nah, you're comfy."

"...At least move so your elbow isn't in my stomach..."

"Fine." I let out a dramatic sigh and shifted, resting my head in the crook of my girlfriend's neck. She smelt sweet...

I heard Monika chuckle and walk over to where Yuri was. From the sounds I heard, I think she sat down next to Yuri and I could hear them quietly talking amongst themselves. I was too comfy to try and listen in, Natsuki's arms were embracing me and I felt really cozy.

"Sayo, your hair smells like strawberries..."

"...You like it?" I asked, remembering I tried out a different shampoo last time I showered...

"...It's nice. I think it suits you. C-cause you're cute, anything you do would suit you..."

"Oh? I'll be sure to grab that brand next time when we go shopping for stuff again. I like it too. It makes my hair really soft..."

"Y-yeah, no kidding..."

I sighed, content with cuddling my girlfriend on the hardwood floor of my house. Kinda weird spot to be cuddling, but we both were weird so whatever, hehee..!

...

...

Oh..? There was a hole in the tower..? What's in..? Oh!

"Hey you two!" I chimed happily. Monika and Yuri turned to look back at us. Both of them smiled brightly and came out to join us. This level of the tower had a bit of a porch or patio kinda deal with a balcony. It made for a really nice view...

All four of us looked out to the great sky, feeling the sun's warmth. We were still no where near the top of the tower, but I had a feeling that all the progress we made will only continue to grow as we all work together to get better and recover from our troubles.

"So, what were you two doing in there anyways..?" I heard Natsuki ask.

"Oh, it was getting a bit dark, so we decided to find a spot to rest until the sun came back out." Monika murmured. I glanced over and saw the president link pinkies with Yuri...

"Hey, you two are pretty close." I mused playfully, pointing at them, gently gripping Natsuki's hand as well.

"...Yeah, I guess we are." Monika replied, giggling softly while both she and Yuri blushed lightly. Those two seemed like a cute pair if they ever started dating... Eh, whatever, what happens happens.

"So, what do you two think about this tower?" I asked after a minute or two, taking things slow. The atmosphere was just so relaxing...

"It's... It's something with greater meaning that just being a challenge to scale." Yuri mused softly. Monika nodded.

"We both agreed that this tower is supposed to represent something. What, we're not sure yet, but..."

"Recovery..." Natsuki murmured, cutting off Monika.

"...What..?"

"Recovery. I think this tower represents recovery. You do too Sayori, right?" Natsuki glanced over at me. I nodded, giving her a smile.

"Recovery..." Monika and Yuri both mused at the same time. They blinked and giggled, realizing they said the same thing at the same time.

"There may be some merit to that, Natsuki. You're clever." Monika said after recovering from her laughter. Natsuki smiled and puffed her chest out a bit.

"Finally, some well deserved praise!"

We all laughed, including Natsuki and we took another few minutes to admire the view.

Natsuki was the first to move, dragging me away from the railing. I didn't protest. I felt ready to move on too.

"We all ready? It's nice to sit about but the real fun is in the travel." Natsuki chimed. Monika and Yuri joined us and nodded.

We approached the next set of stairs up and we all linked hands.

"Together." Monika stated. We all lifted our legs. 

"Together." We all repeated.

We're all gonna get better.  
Together.

Next step...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why was 'last' in quotes..? Cause uh, haha, I'm gonna upload an epilouge chapter tomorrow. As one final hurrah.
> 
> It's been one heck of a journey, this work was, and I couldn't have enjoyed it without you all behind me. 
> 
> When Depression Naps was first uploaded, I intended it to be a oneshot about an off day for our main gal Sayori, but now it's over 25 chapters strong and boasting nearly 50k words. 
> 
> That's all thanks to you, the readers, who supported this fic with Kudos, with comments, with just views and hits. Over 5 thousand, 5,000 of you, dropped by, and I could not ever, not in my life, be more thankful than I am now. 
> 
> Though it is in fact just about time to lay one project to rest to begin another. I imagine my next project will either focus on Laid-Back Camp or Girls' Last Tour. Maybe another DDLC fic if I can't scrounge up anything for the other two.
> 
> So, yeah. It's been wild. It's been fun. And it's been a downright blast providing daily chapters for all of you. 
> 
> Tomorrow will be the true last chapter.
> 
> Please look forward to it!


	28. .͏.̨̧̢͡͞?̵̛?͘͟͞

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ä̶͚͚̺͉̠̤̖͈̞̻̹͈́̾͊ͤ̾ͦͫ͒ͯ̾ͦ̓̀͟͜a̴̮͎̼̼̠͓̯̬͍̟̔͊̆͑͗ͧ̌͗̚̕͟͞͝ͅă̂ͦ̋ͬ͗̚҉̨͏͎̻̻̼͖͔̜̯̱̝͖̲̫aͨͪ̿͂̊̐ͦ́ͬ̀ͧ̈́̑̃͡҉͍̠̲͔̤͙̺̦͕͚͚̣̞̳͚͠͝͠a̾̒̇͋͆ͯͮͨͨ̓͂̅̓̈́҉̸̸̨̺̲͔̘̮͓̲̹̼͉̠

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

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6̸̯͍̏͛ͫ͊4̶̗͎̯̦͙͍̄͑̔̋ͪ̚  
> 6̸̯͍̏͛ͫ͊4̶̗͎̯̦͙͍̄͑̔̋ͪ̚  
> 6̸̯͍̏͛ͫ͊4̶̗͎̯̦͙͍̄͑̔̋ͪ̚  
> 6̸̯͍̏͛ͫ͊4̶̗͎̯̦͙͍̄͑̔̋ͪ̚  
> 6̸̯͍̏͛ͫ͊4̶̗͎̯̦͙͍̄͑̔̋ͪ̚  
> Ṯ͚̹̣͙̼̍ͪ̈́ͫh̶̲̱̳͓̣͎̳ͣ̄̏ͭ̎͑͒e̺̤̟̹̠͛̏ͦ͋͠ ̒ͬ̌͗͑̍̃͘a̹̲͖͓̯͎͓ͨ̐n̥̖̽͋ͫ̓s̔w͍͙̫̼̆ͤͯe̩͎ͯͣͪͫ̌͑r̢͓̰̩̠̺̉̎ͧ̒̚ ̷͛͂̀̆͐ͮ̅l̘̣͖͎͋̂ͫ́͂i͕̭̘̅̀̾e̸̻š̶̬ ̷ͯ͋ͣ̍̐i̮̮̮̦͇̟̮͒̔͛̀n̮ͦ̓̾ͨ̊ ͔͍̠̠͓̹̰̑ͨ̔͗ͮͣ͐͜6͕̬̞̃ͥͯ̿̊4͚̮̣̪̦̉
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Ț̻̼̝̘̂̈͂͌̎̄̚h̟̐̅͌̂͒ịͫs̭̪͐͛̆̓ͥ ̸̹̦̯̹̱̬͈ͣͨī̙̞̞̭̉ͅs̴̘͉̣͇͉͙ͨ ̘̲̫̥̞̠͎ͣ̍̊̿ͧ͡N͐̀͛̈̕Oͯ͑ͭ̏̚T̸͙͍͎͔͚̭͚̆̆͐̍ ͈͎̼̜̿̈́ͦͦ͗̑̐t̻͔̩̻̥̃̿͊͊͛h̼̪̝̬͍ͬͭ̓ĕ̡̦͈͈ͬͬͬͥͪ͋ ̺̮̖̮̆͗ͦe̛͖͍̙̠̘̫ͦ̔̂ͣ̓n̹̬̹̤ͥ͊ͫ͊̎̀d̔̇̒͒̓.̑͐ͬ͞.̐̆͏̙̲.̟̺ͦͯͅ**


	29. Epilogue √͟͜͞6͘͡͡4̨̡̨͡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, uh... Is... Is it just me or did some of the chapters get a bit goofed up..? No..? Just me..? Okay.
> 
> Regardless, here's the final chapter! The last one in Depression Naps! It's shorter, but I hope it'll be an appropriate send off for my next project to spring board off of!
> 
> Please enjoy it!

I blinked back into reality... Oh, haha, I fell asleep on the floor... Seems like Natsuki dozed off too... Cute...

What're Monika and Yuri doing..? I lifted my head slowly and craned my neck to try and get a visual on the other two club members. Yuri had dozed off as well, the book resting face down in her lap. Monika was not next to her though, instead she was just laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, reaching up to try and grab something that just wasn't there...

Was she having another depersonalization episode..?

"Moni..?" I murmured softly, not moving to avoid waking up Natsuki. Monika didn't react right away, and when she did, she flinched in surprise and glanced over at me. She had an extremely restless expression... "What's wrong, Moni..?"

"I'm...mmh...just...not feeling the best right now, I guess." She replied after a moment to choose her words. She didn't lie, but I don't think she was telling the whole truth either...

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"...Sayo...do you ever get the feeling that... None of this was ever supposed to happen in the first place..?"

"Eheh, uhh... What kind of question is that?"

"Definitely not rhetorical."

"Wow, okay" I mused playfully. Monika usually wasn't this uh....sassy... She must really be stressed about something. "Well...even if it wasn't supposed to happen, it happened anyways, right..?"

"Yeah, I guess, but that's the problem. I don't know what was _supposed_ to happen, and why it didn't. I was thinking of asking some other friends to help..."

"Other friends..? Like uh, Hazuki and Reina and the other student council girls..?"

"...No...I'm surprised you even know their names."

"Frankly I am too. They do talk with you a lot so I guess I just kinda naturally learned about them."

"I guess. But no, not them. These uh... These friends are, uhh... In a different place."

"What, like on a different continent..?"

"Yyeah, yeah, let's go with that."

I had a small feeling that she still wasn't telling the truth... I guess we all had our secrets... 

"Gosh Moni, you have so many friends..! You got us, the council, internet friends..."

"Believe me, I do get tired of socializing every once in a while..."

"I getcha. I do too, really. Like when you just need a day to yourself to recharge?"

"Yeah..."

"Huh, I didn't think you'd be an introvert though, you're really friendly and talkative."

"I wouldn't really call myself either. I've heard there's one in between called an ambivert that sounds a whole lot more relatable."

"In between introvert and extrovert..?"

"Mmhmm"

"Ambivert... Interesting... Hey, hey Moni?"

"Yes, Sayo?"

"We're real. I know we are."

"...What made you bring up that?"

"I-I just thought, uh, like, you were having an episode so I just thought I wanted to remind you that we're all real and living..!"

"That's...very thoughtful of you, Sayori, but... I have a hard time believing it..."

"What? Why?? Gimme some proof!"

"I'm not going to give you an existential crisis just because you don't have the same thoughts I do."

"C'mon, Moni!! I wanna know!!"

"Maybe I'll tell you later, but for now, I don't think you're ready... I don't think any of us are ready."

"For what..?"

"...I've...already said too much... Sorry."

"...Moni, you're acting real weird..."

"I know..."

"Well, regardless, we're all totally physical and real! I don't know what I have to do to prove that to you, but I'm gonna one day! Just you wait and see!"

Monika giggled softly "I can't wait." She mused playfully. She still sounded stressed but I think she's feeling a little better at least..? 

"...Are you feeling any better...?" 

"...No...no not really. But thank you for talking with me. It does help keep me grounded."

"...How _are_ you feeling right now anyways..?" 

"...Nervous....scared... Kinda helpless... My stomach's in a knot... I'm anxious..."

"...I...I see..."

I felt genuinely bad I couldn't do much to help Monika right now... She's an amazing friend, really!! If only I could help... Stupid Sayori... Ugh... 

"Don't beat yourself up over it, though. I know you're doing your best to help, and your best is all I ask for. Real or not, I'm really happy I've been able to call you a close friend of mine." Monika blurted out, halting my thoughts... Could she read my thoughts..? No, I'm sure it was just coincidence. We've been friends for a while, she would know when I started to feel bad about myself... Maybe... 

"You sound like you're going away forever."

"We never know when it might happen. When we're deleted from this reality."

"Don't talk like that! We'll be fine!" 

"I sure hope so, Sayori... I really do."

....  
....  
....  
....  
.... 

Monika took a sharp breath. She clenched down tightly on my hand and Yuri's... What was..?

"Girls... The tower... It's... Something's not right..."

"...What..?" Natsuki piped up, sounding very annoyed that we had stopped. 

Just then, the tower creaked and whined, wobbling a bit... All of us stumbled and Monika herself nearly fell over the edge... Her face was one of pure shock... 

"The tower... It's..."

Monika blinked. "It's calling for help..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S̵̳̬͚͠ǫ̶̤̺͈̱̟.̴̪͈̘̭̮̼͔.̟̼̕͟.̶̻̘͟ ̧̳͎̭̯̭̺͜͞S̪̯̳̟̦͞ͅͅh̶̢̢͚̞̞̭̞͕͙̜͚e̞̲͈̬͙̥̺̲͕͠ ̸͈̗͔̳̦̖͉k̶̗̟̫͇̮̼͘͡n̳͇̳͙͘͜o͕͍͚͔̫̙̦̭w͘͞͏͍̦̦͉s̵̛̜̰̰͔̜ ̡̖͚͚̼̗̪̹o̸̤f̛̝̖̣̞̦̻̯͟͠ ͏̶͖m͇͔͍̗̩͈̱͜ͅe͚̤̳̩͙.̞͟.̸͇̲̻̙̣.̝̹͓ ̸̥͙̮̘̦̝͜T̙͖̙̹̝̲̺͇͖h̴҉̱̦̮̳̖̤̲e̛̝̜͈̱̠̮͜ṇ̮̝̰̩̺͟ ̟̞͚͘͠I̶͕ ̶̧̛͍̦̘͉͙k̛̪̩̝̟̠̣̪̝̺͡͞n̷͕̺̞̤̮͓̕͠o̮̬̩̰̲̺̼̣̗w̙͈̲͓͟ ̴̠͖͡ͅw̴̩͈̳̪̙̬̬͝ͅh̢̼̳͍͔̘͇̭̤͙o҉̼ ͏҉̪̺͖̲̭̖̱I̡̘̯̲̣̥͘ ̴̨̹̹̣̰͇̹̭̠͞m̙̪̞͇͓͠u̷̦͚͓̥͔͕͜͞ș̬͚̗̮͔͕̠͈͘t̴̛͉̳̭͕ ̤̹͙̱̲̟͘͟e̴̙̮̱̻l͕̱͎̣̖͞i͏͙̻͖̯̪͓͞m͜͏͍̪̹̗ͅi̠̞̭̩̞̮̯͓̺n͍̜͚͎̞͓̭̮a̷̟̘̦̲͚̰͚t̵̖̣̳̩͈͖̘e̟͉̗̭̪ ̨͕͕͍͚̙f̦̹̘̹͎̺i̻̲̯̱̫̲ͅr̢͎̜̞̟s̴͎̱͢͟ṯ̠͎̥͉͙͙͍͇͞.̛͕̪̣̘͈̭̗͘͞.̹͘͢ͅ.̙̯̦̞͟  
> ̰͈̜̭͉͖̠̖͡~͔̱̟̠̘͍͟6̶̘̱̙̭̼̕͝4͕͔͓̤͟
> 
> Wait, wasn't there supposed to be 28 chapters..? Why are there 29..? Uhh... Mmh, whatever.
> 
> Thank you all for sticking around for so long! I could never be happier to say that it is thanks to you all that Depression Naps is what it is because of you all! And the future project is in fact going to be another DDLC work!
> 
> Expect it to go live within a week's time!
> 
> Please, remember to take care! I'll be seeing you all again soon enough!!  
> ~Tater~
> 
>  
> 
> F͝͞͡e͢͝b.͝҉͞ **√64**  
>  ̨̧͘6̸̴̢͞4̕͢  
> ̨͝6̧4̶̕͜  
> ̸̨͘͏҉6̨̨̧̕4̷̛̕  
> ̴6̶͘4̸͘  
> ̴I̸̵͝ ͝a̢̛͞m͏͘ ͏6̶4̵̷̸̧͟.͟


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